Ask Me Help Desk - 10 year old friendship

10 year old friendship

Now, this is an actual problem I am dealing with, been fighting over it inside for about a week now. Here's the story.

I had this girl in grade school, 7th grade to be exact. We became friends, we got really close in high school, best of friends. Nothing EVER happened besides a platonic relationship. We would talk all the time, through text or phone which ever. I am now 22, 10 years after we began our friendship. Well awhile ago, I got a message from her stating she no longer wants to talk to me, speak with me or anything. No reason why, but just explaining that she was done. At first, being the type of person I am, I let her walk away without any type of questioning. Now, I find myself struggling with, should I send an e-mail asking her what it was all about? I see her around now and then and it's awkward. Someone I knew for 10 years, went through a loss of a best friend, various break ups and everything is suddenly gone, without a reason. I'm curious if it's over a misunderstanding or something else.

Should I send her a polite message asking her what happened? I do actually miss her being my friend, 10 year friends don't just come easily, especially with me and trust issues

I think you should email her. If one of my friends who I have known for half of my life just up and stopped being my friend I would want an explanation. Just a thought Rome, could it be she secretly had a thing for you?

Nah, it came up one night during a drunk conversation but both agreed it would be way to awkward and weird. We are too much a like to date and have it ruin a friendship.

Also, she is engaged to someone too, maybe it's the thought of the one person(besides my family) who has known me the longest not being at my wedding kind of bothers me you know?

That's got to suck, but really don't push this at all, and whatever she is dealing with, let her deal with it.

It may be another 10 years before you find out what's happening, and you still may not understand it. Friends will come, and go, and have their own things they go through, and deal with, and you have to let them sometimes.

Give her your prayers, when you can't give them your time.

I totally understand that. I didn't have a wedding I got married at the court house but my friend who I have known since I was 4 was there. Does her fiancé like you? Maybe he was jealous and didn't understand the relationship you had.

That's true, she may be going through a lot and just couldn't handle everything at once.

It is a tough decision and I'll weigh all my options, and hey maybe one time she will enlighten me on what the bloody heck happened ha ha

Maybe she heard a bad rumor about you. But yeah, I would definitely ask for an explanation.

He said he didn't have a problem with me lol. He had a friend similar to how me and her were, I didn't think about it, the jealousy issue

I highly doubt the rumor thing, I mean she stuck by me through a lot. Rumors about me being gay(nothing wrong with being gay, but I wasn't) and then when people thought I was racist for driving a lifted truck(very weird situation ha ha) she was right by my side. Break ups(even with her sister) she still stood true

How long has it been since she said she didn't want to talk anymore?

Do you have any idea what this is about?

Seems so odd.

Honestly I have NO idea what it was about. I was completely caught off guard, it's been a few months. I'm the type to let people walk away if they want, but for some reason lately it's really been bugging me.

I saw her Saturday and it was really awkward, like two strangers who think they know each other.

I think you have given enough time for a cool off period if she was upset about something.

Although things will not be the same, I think that you should make the first move and determine what you are even fighting about. Extend the conversation as just that, it was really awkward seeing you last blah blah blah and I really don't even know what happened between us. I would really like for you to attend my wedding but I am afraid you will reject an invitation if I ask.

:D

I was thinking of something along these lines

Okay, I've been tussling with the idea of writing you a message for some time. I understand that you no longer wish to be friends, which okay, I got that. I am just curious as to why you did it. I didn't understand what the rationale behind the action was, maybe something got lost in translation to me. Normally, I wouldn't really care. But we were really good friends, friends for over 10 years in fact and it was just weird with how it came about. I am willing to discuss this further with you if you would like, if not then I will accept it, but I just had to ask why.

I think you should send it.

Good friendships are just as valuable as good relationships.

I sent it, I'm just curious what the reason behind it all. I just can't think of anything that it could possibly be.

She must of caught wind of us and she is jealous. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

I highly doubt the rumor thing, I mean she stuck by me through a lot. Rumors about me being gay(nothing wrong with being gay, but I wasn't) and then when people thought I was racist for driving a lifted truck(very weird situation ha ha) she was right by my side. Break ups(even with her sister) she still stood true

So driving a lifted truck makes you a racist. O man I'm screwed then. What kind of truck how big?

That's so weird. My first guess would be that her fiancee' feels threatened by you... I hope she writes back!