Ask Me Help Desk - I am stuck in love

Will keep it short..
1) I love this person a lot, trust me the day I saw her in office, I was totally all for her... I had this weird feeling that I need this girl.
2) I shared the same with my colleague, who managed to introduce her to me.
3) and trust me I was dead, my senses went off... I had no reaction when she was right there standing right in front of me.
3) its 1 years now and till today I go blank when I see her... I don't know I'm a very talkative person and a very restless person by nature... I can't sit for long, can't be quite for long... but when I see this person it all go the otherway... my speech is dead, my eyes get stuck, my brains doesn't work... it doesn't work at all... I tried way to keep myself focused and assured myself that I got to be myself but when she is arnd it all goes the other way. Not sure why this happens... maybe some science.
4) we have been travelling together for a year now... she luckly stays close to my house and I somehow managed to become her pick-up-drop buddy.
5) now I have done everything possible to get her, and finally after lot of tries.. told her that I like her a lot... n if she is fine I'd marry her.
6) she politely said no
7) it hurt but I understand her view, and her choice... she wants someone more then me, and lot of other factors.
8) now I have been behaving the way I was earlier, acting as if I am fine with her call, but frankly I'm not... I love her a lot... and wish to be with her the rest of the life?

Suggest way to win her or get this person... is there a way... does loving a person, knowing that the other doesn't like you wrong.

Well, you've sort of put yourself in a difficult position haven't you?

By your own admission you turned into a speechless goose each time you saw her, so I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you tried everything to 'get' her. You've been car buddies for a year - does that mean that you didn't talk to her?

Anyway, look at it from her point of view - each time she sees you, you turn into some sort of brain dead zombie, this goes on for a year, and then you ask her to marry you.

Of course she politely declined.

Hmmm. I'd back off if I were you. Apologize to her for your 'moment of madness' and just start by trying to be normal. You know, asking her about her weekend, having a joke, chatting about the weather. Perhaps a few of you (plus her) can have drinks after work. If she's still your car buddy then you have the opportunity to do these things and prove to her that you're not a crazed stalker but just shy.

I know that it's a really easy thing for me to say, but try and relax. Focus on her, rather than your own feelings of speechless paralysis. I'm sure you're a nice guy, continue acting like you're fine with her.

You can't win someone, they are not a prize.

Maybe try not being so forward, asking marriage without a relationship? That's kind of scary

Hi gemini54 if not late advance b'day wishes.
and thanks to both you and romefalls19 for your thoughts.
1stly yes gemini I got myself in a very difficult position, m in a position where I can't stop loving her nor c an I avoid her. Its all very messy.
I do speak about various stuff but its not what I'm, I speak keeping her in mind and these days have become so complex that I think a lot before talking. We had some good time too not that I never took her out for a drink but still its more of I getting lost when m with her... trust me it's a very very nice feeling, its like when I c her smile, the way she looks at me, her eyes, her lip moment, the expressions, its all so sweet I tell u I get lost, completely lost, I pray that god shld some how give me this girl for the rest of my life... this is all I ask him nothing else do I need from him.
about her she is a very short temper girl, gets angry for small things goes shouting and giving that amazing looks which are all fine for me, I look for an opportunity to see her shout at me, it make me somehow feel good, when she shouts my minds goes off and its only admiring her facial xpressions. I don't know if its normal behaviour or not but I totally love when she shouts at me.
and you she is a gemini so u better understand her mind or u had it.
I want her don't know how will I get her but I just need her

You put her too high on the pedestal. You're treating her like a goddess. Unless you can treat her like a normal person, you're going to have an extremely difficult time talking to her.

How can you be in love with someone when you don't even know the person? You're just having a very deep crush and it looks like love. You can only love someone when you get to know them a lot more.

Calm down. Treat her like a normal person. Talk to her.

If you can't handle that, then it's time for you to move on. You can't "win" someone. You can't "force" someone to talk to you. It's their choice.

Quote:

does loving a person, knowing that the other doesn't like you wrong.

Yes its wrong, because now your still doing things to get her, and are only getting yourself into a deeper hole.

Cut it loose, so you can come down from LALA land.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hitman88

Hi gemini54 if not late advance b'day wishes.
and thanks to both you and romefalls19 for your thoughts.
1stly yes gemini i got myself in a very difficult position, m in a position where i can't stop loving her nor c an i avoid her. its all very messy.
i do speak abt various stuff but its not what i m, i speak keeping her in mind and these days have become so complex that i think a lot before talking. we had some good time too not that i never took her out for a drink but still its more of i getting lost when m with her....trust me its a very very nice feeling, its like when i c her smile, the way she looks at me, her eyes, her lip moment, the expressions, its all so sweet i tell u i get lost, completely lost, i pray that god shld some how give me this girl for the rest of my life...this is all i ask him nothing else do i need from him.
about her she is a very short temper girl, gets angry for small things goes shouting and giving that amazing looks which are all fine for me, i look for an opportunity to see her shout at me, it make me somehow feel good, when she shouts my minds goes off and its only admiring her facial xpressions. i dont know if its normal behaviour or not but i totally love when she shouts at me.
and ya she is a gemini so u better understand her mind or u had it.
i want her dont know how will i get her but i just need her

Sorry Hitman, but it sounds like a weird sort of obsession on your part.

You like it when she shouts at you? This is what children do, get their parents to shout at them so that they can be the focus of their attention.

Perhaps she shouts at you because you've slipped into a sort of dazed delirium when you look at her and she wants to pull you out if it...

In any case, it's not normal and I don't think it's healthy. You need to give it some serious thought because behaving like a love sick puppy each time you meet someone isn't a good foundation for relationships in the future. I'm sure it's very pleasant falling into a romantic reverie each time you see her, but it's not sustainable and not good for your long term emotional health.

Try and stay in present time and snap out of it - I'd suggest you see her less and involve yourself in some physical pursuits like sport, swimming, running or the gym.

Get into your body and out of your imagination.

Hi again, hitman88!

What exactly makes you think that there might be some hope of continuance of activities with this person, please?

Thanks!

I agree with you all! I need to be myself and stop acting weird.. I Totally agree with your thoughts... I guess I need some counseling or a physi treatment.

Seriously I need to cut myself of this bond where m so into this that I forget myself and act as if m a dumb person.

Let me see how it goes on from here.. I'll be myself, treating her normal.

Again thanks a ton for all your tots and will teep you guys in mind when I have a problem, so please xpect me to bother you in future.

Thanks Again!