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-   -   Messed Up Situation (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=357820)

  • May 25, 2009, 05:13 PM
    lilsolider89
    Messed Up Situation
    I have a big problem and incredibly hard situation... See this time I am In no doubt over how she feels, Or How confused she has me. I Know she likes me and wants to be with me or at least believes she does lol but it's the whole situation around it.

    Ok so Let me start by saying early on Me and Kim got off to a really bad start, she was dating a friend of mine, not a close friend but a friend and well as friends do we would rib each other and she took exception to one instance and had a huge go at me and that was the only time we had spoke... Now 4 months ago after a 6 month relationship Kim dumps my friend now there’s loads of different reasons flying around but ultimately I just think it went stale and she didn’t think it wasn’t there anymore and she didn’t think the distance thing of her going to uni would work. So anyway. A month or so after they split Im at a party with my group of friends and she’s there with hers we all Mingle and chat etc and randomly out of nowhere she just comes up and starts chatting To me of all people about Her and My friend,really going into detail of how and why it didn’t work and while she knows she didn’t want to be with him the more she drank the more she wanted to kiss him after a few minutes I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, when I return she's saying her goodbye's gives me a Hug and tells me to please not say anything. They leave I enjoy the rest of my evening. The day after I get a text and its from her how she got my number I don’t no and she just says How am I etc and to please not say anything she doesn’t no why but she’s really trusting me and she’s just finding it hard as anyone would to move on. Now trying to be the good friend that I am I think hang on I can use this and try and get them back together, she obv is confused and he wants her back so I decide to text again, Over the course of the day we send back and forth replies you know getting to know each other becoming friends.

    Now after Id say about a week of regular texting and some random why did I say that secret sharing on both parts were quite close as anyone would be with that amount of contact, so one day as she tells me she’s studying Id thought id be funny and ring her, I did and we ended up on the phone for an hour n half after speaking on msn for 2 n a half hours. A few days later she calls me just wanting to chat etc... This goes on for another two week’s. Constant every day text’s, once ever say 3 day phone calls and nightly chats on msn... In three weeks we have grown close as friends she knows me I know her and we both have each other's secrets... Now this is where it all starts to get tricky... Last Thursday while On Msn were chatting as we do when she suddenly says Listen to this song it reminds me of you... I click the link and it's Miley Cyrus See you again and Beyonce Halo... Somewhat confused I say good tune I can't wait to see you either ;) Jokingly She replies No seriously I can't I don’t want to say in case you laugh in my face but... Intrigued I just tell her to come out with it we never usually hold back so why now and she says Ok I Like you, I Don’t no how why where or even when but you are all I can think about,Im smiling Non stop everyday cause of you and I just don’t No... Taken aback by this as anyone would be I reply with a Brb and go for a fag,After about half an hour of just thinking I relies Im actually feeling the same way I think about her more then anyone and I have been happier recently, so I go back and tell her this is not a conversation to be having on msn and we arrange to meet up for a coffee in 2 days time... The time flies by mainly cause we continue to text she tells me more about how she feels Like when my name comes up on the phone she gets butterflies and when I see her in person with friends she goes all giggly and nervous and doesn’t no what to say(Im the same).. anyway we meet up have our coffee and she tells me again how she feels she knows its wrong what with her ex being my friend our friend and she just doesn’t no what to do but she really doesn’t think she has felt this connection and spark with anyone epically her previous 4 boyfreinds,I tell her I feel the same Cause I do I haven’t felt this happy and nervous since my ex 3 years ago and we agree that we shld keep it between ourselves till her exams are over and see how it goes... However since then we have just grown and Its now at the point where neither of us reli like the fact its happened but we truly like each other and want to give it ago. I just got a text she's been away for a weekend and she so badly wanted to ring me tonight just to hear my voice, She knows it hard and she's going to Uni in sep but its only an hour away and She wants to give us go and not let what she feels just slide away and she thinks we can make uni work... This has just got me Confused cause I LIKE HER Allot but She's my ex's friend of a Month 1/2 2 Max and I just don't know What to do! We have agreed to keep it between us until next month to give her ex more time to heal and get over her she has stopped all contact... But I just don't know what to do!

    So basically after that is rather long I am really sorry... Is

    :What do I do?
    I Like her she seems to be really liking me
    Am I just rebound thing which I have brought up and she claims She doesn’t believe I am,she's never felt this way before about anyone espic any of her ex's and she just is so amazingly happy and she broke it off with my friend because she wanted to be single to go uni but now she's met me and she knows it could and would work

    So yea basically what do you think's best I do/we do Help Lol

    Oh just in case anyone's wandering Im 19 and she's 18
  • May 25, 2009, 05:25 PM
    Psyle

    First off, you're doing this behind your friends back. If this was your good friend you wouldn't do that to him. So why else are you keeping this a secret?

    If you two both are into each other then go for it. No need to keep it a secret unless you try to hide something. Word to the wise, if she did it to this guy, she can do it to you.
  • May 25, 2009, 05:33 PM
    lilsolider89

    We agreed to keep it on the low down was to let her get her exams out of the way and give her ex just that little bit more time to heal... Cause obv when we do come out It's going to be a Big reaction and Not going to be the best situation and not everyone's going agree with it so keeping it quiet would let her sit her Exams without that added pressuer and give her Ex My friend just that little bit more time to get over her.

    I totally agree its behind my friends back and its wrong and that's why I am so confused I don't want hurt him but then again I don't really think I want to lose her
  • May 25, 2009, 05:37 PM
    lilsolider89

    *sorry for the double Post*

    Maybe I should have also added that we are both christians and erm she is very pro No Sex before marriage I Believe so when I say secreat it's Not like were doing that it's the simple fact of were keeping how we feel away from everyone.

    Just thought I'd add that Important or not I don't no
  • May 25, 2009, 08:26 PM
    talaniman

    Just me, she has you doing too much your not comfortable with, and it sounds like BS. Relationships that are built on lies, and deceit, have consequences to pay.
  • May 26, 2009, 05:57 AM
    Romefalls19

    At first, I was all for it. But after thinking about it, how do you know this isn't her using you to hurt you ex more? Some people are that cruel, personally to find out her true intentions, come out now or don't pursue it at all. A clandestine relationship is a doomed one

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