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-   -   Dreaming Every Night About Ex, Ruining My Relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=357474)

  • May 24, 2009, 06:33 PM
    Anonymous667
    Dreaming Every Night About Ex, Ruining My Relationship
    Almost every night I have been having dreams about an ex-boyfriend of mine. I met him when I was 12 and dated him only in middle school and the beginning of high school. He was also my next door neighbor. I moved away my junior year of high school and I am 20 now and almost a junior in college. I haven't seen this guy in years, so I have no idea why I am having these constant dreams. They are always different, we are either just friends, or he is trying to get me back, or for some reason I am looking for him. The problem is, I am engaged to a wonderful guy. However, these dreams have begun to get to me and I find myself looking for him wherever I go. I don't have feelings for him. These dreams happened when I was with my last boyfriend, and after we broke up, I gave in and seen the ex from my dreams. He was disappointing and not who I remembered. After that the dreams went away for about a year. Now they are bak for some reason. Why do I find myself longing for this guy, when I know that if I really ran into him again, I would see he is no longer the same? I feel so guilty! I find myself growing distant from my fiancé. I can't tell him this because he wouldn't understand and be hurt. I think that maybe I miss the friendship I had with my ex? He was my neighbor for all those years after all. I don't know what's going on. Help!
  • May 24, 2009, 08:25 PM
    I wish

    Dreams will pass in time.

    But dreams are just that. Sounds like you're trying to find some truth and reality in your dream, which is why you are looking for him in real life. Is it because there really is some truth that you still miss him and not completely over him?

    If you don't feel any for him, then keep your dreams away from reality. You have a fiancé now.
  • May 24, 2009, 08:31 PM
    Gemini54
    Dreams of this recurring type are most often symbolic. So dreaming about the exBF does not mean that you want to get back with him.

    You are currently entering a new phase of your life - you're engaged and almost a junior in college. Dreaming of things past may represent some insecurity about things present - the changes that are about to occur in your life as you transition into marriage, college and adulthood.

    The ex boyfriend may also represent a time in your life when you felt freer and less burdened by responsibilities. Your unconscious mind may be trying to take you there to lessen some of the stress.

    Perhaps examine what's currently happening in your life. Have you taken on too much? Are you really convinced that your fiancée is the one that you want to marry?

    Recurring dreams are sometimes signals that we need to re-examine something in our current situation.
  • May 24, 2009, 10:21 PM
    chuff

    Read a book before you go to bed and you will start dreaming about that.
  • May 25, 2009, 07:16 AM
    roxypox
    chuff: had to spread rep... but LMAO.

    I do agree with the others, I don't nessaceraly it's the XBF you want back, the things we dream often come from our subconsions and represent (often, of course not always) stuff that we have on our minds...

    do you think that the dreams with the x are recouring because you think about it a lot?

    Also like Gemini said, you are in a critical and new phase in your life, school, engaged, becoming an adult... they might be about a time when you were younger. Of course I have no idea what kind of childhood/teen years you had, but for som it's a very carefree and free existence where you have fewer responsibilities and so on...

    and like Chuff said, you could try to read before bed...

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