Ask Me Help Desk - I know I have an addiction, but do I HAVE to get treated?

I know I have an addiction, but do I HAVE to get treated?

Im a 30yr old female, and Im pretty sure I have a sex addiction. I just saw a documentary on it and I fit most of the symptoms. Except I don't get the bad stuff.
I was never abused, had a great childhood etc.. No scars to be found. But I find sex to be my drug of choice.
I work in the sex industry in a country where it is legal and at a very high standard, I am not on drugs of any kind. I do not have any mental health issues that I know of. I am a normal decent person, I just have a secret life.
I love my job. I feel more like a counsellor to my clients. I like being the one that can cater to theirs needs. I get treated with respect.
I have a boyfriend. He is a married man. I have no intentions of taking him from his wife as I do not want a full time partner. When I'm not at work I love my alone time. I live on a farm and the soltitude is fantastic... it has been said jokingly that I may end up a crazy cat lady or something and to be honest, the thought of that doesn't make me sad. Im happy with life and all in it.
After saying all this, recognizing that I have a sex addiction, because I feel it isn't interrupting or changing the quality of my life, do I really have to cure this addiction? Can I just live my life this way? Is it wrong for me to be loving this life style?

You may not have a sex addiiction. Is it a twenty four hour craving ? If so, then it is a sex addiction. Most people with this strange addiction cannot function unless having another person. It almost amounts to pulling someone off the street for sex, any stranger will do.

Tick

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

You may not have a sex addiiction. Is it a twenty four hour craving ? If so, then it is a sex addiction. Most people with this strange addiction cannot function unless having another person. It almost amounts to pulling someone off the street for sex, any stranger will do.

tick

I go for about 4-5days where I have to have sex, and I will have it 5-7 times each of those days.
Also another sign is, I can go for hours and hours of playing before actual intercourse (which the boyfriend is fantasic for).. I feel content and at ease after I've had my fill. I have no worries in the world, financially I'm very secure, I am writing a novel, I'm pretty much a very put together person...

Sex addiction goes along quite well in people who are damaged in many ways, meow. You sound like a happy person, just a person with an over active libido. As you get older, it may settle down, but you don't say how old you are. I wouldn't worry, just enjoy everything you are doing.

Tick

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

Sex addiction goes along quite well in people who are damaged in many ways, meow. You sound like a happy person, just a person with an over active libido. As you get older, it may settle down, but you dont say how old you are. I wouldnt worry, just enjoy everything you are doing.

tick

Thanks I think... you are a lot nicer than some of the people on here.. I asked another question regarding the relationship I have with the married man and all ihave gotten is angry wives and religious people puttin me down. Maybe I am wrong for doing it, but it doesn't feel wrong :(

I guess my life isn't very "main stream"

I just want to live a life that is happy...

Why don't you go to the SLAA website where I believe they have questionnaires or go to a meeting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by susangpyp

Why don't you go to the SLAA website where I believe they have questionnaires or go to a meeting.

What is SLAA?

Click here:

What is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous? | Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

40 questions for self-diagnosis:

http://www.slaafws.org/node/10

Quote:

Originally Posted by susangpyp

Click here:

What is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous? | Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

40 questions for self-diagnosis:
40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis | Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

OK I will check it out..

OK so this is an update for all of those that have been follow my threads.

I went and saw the counsellor/therapist on Tuesday. It was awesome.
It opened up a whole different issues I need to deal with lol but the amount of self acceptance I am feeling is fantastic.

So here are a few things that he spoke to me about, and basically how it all ties into my threads.

After many questions and probing into my brain, the therapist said that My line of work has not played with my head. He said I am a very rational, level headed 30yr old. He could see why I was questioning whether it is right or wrong to be a sex worker and came up with the conclusion that yes a lot of people think it is a bad thing, that is just their opinions. It is not effecting me in a negative way at all.

After our talk he could see my need and love of helping people and he suggested even starting up a group for couples/singles on how to keep sexual relationships healthy.

When I discussed my partner, who is a married man, he basically told me that, that type of relationship is all based on (again) your own belief systems. It might not be something people agree with but at the end of the day, its all about what works for each individual. And as for right now, its working for me quite well.

I told my partner about seeing a therapist. He straight away was very concerned that he was causing me grief, but I assured him, it isn't him, it was just my own head accepting the situation.

The therapist did not want to discuss my partner for long at all. He said that from what he can see, it's a casual relationship that is discreet and for now, bringing joy to my life.

Now, this is where it got interesting. I brought up my sex addiction. After more probing, he came to the conclusion, that I am not adicted to sex, but that I may have an issue with power. Needing power over men. And sex apparently is my tool.

After many questions about my dad, the therapist is very keen to do regressive therapy and hypnosis. I am not too sure on this idea. He says that the most pivotal things in our life, happen before we are 5yrs old. He thinks that something has happened to me when I was young. Could be something small. Could be something bad.

I personally don't want to go probing into that I have blocked out for whatever reason. If I found out my dad molested me, I will seriously kill him. Without even a thought.

Also he said I have unnatural tendacies to protect my loved ones. I don't understand that. I will die for my family. We have been through tough times and Im sure most people are the same. But apparently my need to keep my family safe is abnormal.

So yeah that's pretty much it. It was only one session though, Im going back next week.

It made me realise that, OK, I may be a sex addicted, prostitute that is dating a married man, and that may be something the majority of people in society would not agree with... but that's OK! Its fine! As long as I can look in the mirror every morning and like who I am, be proud of all that Ive accomplished, love my family, make them proud... as long as my family love me then I really don't give a toss what the rest of the world thinks :)

Ok so that's the basics I guess.. Ive been walking around with my head a little higher I must admit lol.

I want to thank all of those who left comments, whether they were helpful or not. I love that this site is an open space for us all to voice all of our different and unique opinions.

When reading peoples questions, don't judge their actions... at the end of the day, they are here for an answer.. lets help people, not put them down x x x x x

Three threads going about the same issue, copy/paste the "I love me" update - I'm going to go with attention-whoring on this one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Three threads going about the same issue, copy/paste the "I love me" update - I'm going to go with attention-whoring on this one.

I put the same resolution post to all 3 questions I had asked. I was asked to post an update after my appointment. I was just finalising them all.

You don't have to be rude about it just because you don't agree with my life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meow420

You dont have to be rude about it just because you dont agree with my life.

I never said I didn't agree with your life. I'm just pointing out that you fit the discussion board profile of attention whoring.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meow420

i put the same resolution post to all 3 questions i had asked. I was asked to post an update after my appointment. I was just finalising them all.

You dont have to be rude about it just because you dont agree with my life.

My suggestion would be to go to a female counselor. I think this therapist is making some good points but others are not so good. Being a sex worker having an affair with a married man screams low self-esteem and possibly sexual abuse in the past.

I think your therapist is missing the boat. You might want to do a consultation with a female therapist. Not that male therapists are bad but I always suggest that when a person has an issue with relationships and/or sex, they see a therapist of their own gender.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meow420

It made me realise that, ok, I may be a sex addicted, prostitute that is dating a married man, and that may be something the majority of people in society would not agree with...but thats ok! Its fine! As long as I can look in the mirror every morning and like who I am, be proud of all that Ive accomplished, love my family, make them proud...as long as my family love me then I really dont give a toss what the rest of the world thinks :)

My dear meow, I think that is all great and glad you got it put to bed (good choice of words, eh). I was the one that said, in a previous reply, that it didn't sound like you were a sex addict and just enjoy what you are doing.

All the more power to you now. I do understand the counsellor's comment about the control issue (over men) and that really must have explained a heck of a lot to you and eased your mind.

Kindest regards

Ms tickle

Hello ,I've just gotten here for the first time.I read your question Mr.meow420 and I am glad to here that you are doing good. It is a pleasure to here that you are able to be at peace with the life that you have at this moment in time.I also just attended my first SLAA meeting tonight , and I am so blessed to be where I am at at this moment in time lol. But seriously , this world is so strange and scary and creepy. There is too much pain and meenness in our space, so if you are satisfied with the way you are now then be happy. There are so many people that want to put a person down for living a life that doesn't fit into the 'rules" of what is "RIGHT" and "WRONG" who's to really say . I do believe in JESUS and he never threw a rock at anyone HE never condoned HATE!! Or CRUELITY... so just be at peace and GOD be with you. Me dear..