My children have a computer that has internet access. My husand put a blocker on the computer that will not pull up any sites that are not child friendly. Some how my daughter had porn pop up and the block had not worked! I saw the computer history last night and saw that sex sites were visited on the computer last week. My husband and I asked her and she said that it popped up on her.
This is a huge nightmare for me. What can I do for my daughter? Do I talk to her about sex? It is a little young to have "the talk" but under the circumstances I think I may have to.

Any good advice?

Amy

Your little girl being in a state of ignorance is the WORST thing for her right now.

9 years old is 'not to young' because women mature earlier than men.

She can actually start seeing her period from 9 up, it is at times these that her sexual curiosity will begin to emerge.

Like it or not she is a sexual being and puberty will ensure that her mind will begin to ask questions of a sexual nature.

If she feels uncomfortable talking to her parents then other people will educate her and this includes pop up porn sites.

She needs to be armed with PROPER PARENTAL education and the knowledge that her parents are there for her to ask ANYTHING without them JUDGING her.

With this in mind she will know how to handel herself on the internet without daddy playing sensor. If you depend on software to sensor what your daughter sees your asking for trouble. Let her be informed so she can handel herself.

By the way, kids smell fear and both of you better wise up to this. Seeing the discomfort and fear in parents eyes when it comes to issues of sex is disheartening to kids and does more to drive them outside the home to find answers.

The two of you need talk to her about the truth of sex and how to handle negative representations of it from porn sites.

I agree with the answer you have so far. I will go so far as to add...

Your child is never too young to learn about sex... If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to know. While I understand your daughter did not ask, apparently she is old enough to know. My daughter knew at the age of 7 when I told her we were going to have a baby and she wanted to know how the baby got in my tummy.

Now, for the computer... This day in age children are more computer savvy than many adults. She may know how to turn of the blocker, not to look up porn mind you, but maybe for some gaming sites. Some gaming sites require a pop-up blocker to be off. So you may want to set parental controls that require a password.

Great answers above about how to approach the situation with your daughter. I can help you with the technical side of things to try to avoid this situation in the future.

I'm assuming you have installed Service Pack 2, if not then make that your first order of the day.

Then create a new limited account for your daughter; it does not need to have a password. However the administrator account (you) does need a password. Steps on how to do this here:
http://www.computer-rage.com/general...on-windows-xp/

Next, you can create a whitelist of only the sites she is allowed to visit.
http://www.microsoft.com/windows/ie/...dv/config.mspx
This is a somewhat extreme measure. If she requires any additional searches you can sit with her using your account.

The other bonus you get form this is that any malware cannot install itself in a limited account setup.

Let me know if you have any questions. Good luck, I have a six year old and worry about the same things.

NK, what if she does not have Windows XP?

For instance I have Windows ME.

I don't believe you have those options in Windows ME, to achieve some parental control there would probably require purchasing some third-party add-on (unless some freeware/shareware can be found).

First, Stop panicing. Second, I'm sorry but I think you are way over-reacting if this is a "huge nightmare" for you. This is just not that big a deal in today's age. Kids are much more aware of sex and sexual matters then they were in previous decades.

As other people have pointed out this is not a disaster but an opportunity. Its an opportunity for you to find out what your daughter thinks about what she saw and for you to educate her on the realities of life.

She probably already knows more than you think she does, though may have bad info. Frankly, that you waited this long to talk with her is surprising.

Finally, if you let a child that young surf the Net unsupervised, you should have better prepared her for what she might have found.

Thank you for your comments. I talked to my husband and we are planning on sitting my daughter down to talk with her about the things that she saw. I agree with Gillion that girls start maturing very young now days. I also agree that I don't want "other people" educating her on sex, like boobs.com. I just feel awful that those images will be in her mind forever. They will always be there. She lost some of her innocence that day.

I'm not sure how much of her "innocence" she lost. Once you start talking to her, you may find its less than you think. But in any case, it had to happen someday.

Believe me, its unlikely whether any of those images will have any long term effect. Either she may not have understood what she saw or she understood it enough to assimilate it. I wouldn't feel so awful about it.

Music download sights like limewire.com have porn on them. That is probably where she found it. She was probably not looking for it. My daughter found this too. But I did not know it until years later. Definitely talk to her about sex but don't tell her she should wait until a specific age. My parents did that and I was raised Catholic and I was raped and when I didn't make it to that certain age because of the rape I tried to kill myself with an overdose. God, raising kids is hard. I have two daughters, ages 20 and 18 and my 20 year old is fine but I lost my 18 year old. She matured at 10 and had sex by 13. She tried to kill herself too. My advise to anyone who wants any sort of control in their life right now in America is "don't have kids".

Wow Kristina, it sounds like you have had some pretty hard trials in life. I feel for your pain. But my belief in family differs. I believe that this life is all about families. Yes we live in a world with much evil. But we can live in this world and not "of it". We need to have children and raise them with high morals and integrity. We need to make them aware of all the wicked influences surrounding us. We need to give our children something to hold onto when these forces are storming around us. We need to create our homes to be a place were our children can feel safe. We can do this. It is hard, it won't be easy. Doing the right thing sometimes is not the "easy" way.

Ps. We had the BIG talk with our daughter. Things went well. Thank you all

First of all, keep the compurter in a comon area in the home where it is visible to all. Second, get a keystroke logger and view what they are doing. Invasion of privacy? Bull. Living in your home they have none.

And to second what others have said, 9 is definitely not too young to be talking to your daughter about sex. You probably don't want to hear it, but there are 9-year-olds out there having sex. One news article I read was about 12-year-olds who made extra money by hiring out friends of theirs to perform oral sex at parties, and didn't think it was any big thing. You want to be talking to her about relationships in general... what does she think of dating, what does she want to be in life, how does she she her next few years, etc.

Why does a 9 year old have unsupervised internet access at all? There are SOOOOOO many child predators online. My daughter has a computer, but is not yet permitted internet access period, let alone unattended. Your child could meet a predator on sites like POGO! Maybe I am overprotective, but I feel better being as safe as possible...

To answer you though, nine is definitely NOT too young to have the birds and bees talk. In fact, your daughter has probably heard more than you care to know from friends, and most likely is being misinformed. So this is the perfect time to step in and sort it all out. It is best if this info comes from an informed person, and even better to build a relationship between the two of you. Opening up about this stuff and answering questions now will allow her the opportunity to approach you about further questions and fears in the future. This is essential to mom/daughter relationships. She needs to feel confident that you will tell her the truth and be loving and understanding, no matter what she says, feels, thinks, or does. Take this opportunity and run with it. I know a lot of moms who tried to hide this info and lived to regret it.

And educate yourself if you need to! I remember that my mom was a product of her generation and didn't really know everything about the birds and bees. (In fact, when I was a teen she had an emergency hysterectomy, and I had to explain to her why that meant that she wouldn't have periods anymore!) Finding out that you know more than your mom makes you question all of her advice. Or at least it did me at that time.