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-   -   Is this considered cheating? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=356508)

  • May 21, 2009, 04:49 PM
    Izzyy
    Is this considered cheating?
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and a half now, I'm 18 and he's 21. He just recently got caught smoking heroine by his sister and was sent to detox for 5 days, as if it wasn't hard enough to go through, I found out that while he was in there he had met a girl who he said was very ill and being the "gentleman" that he is he decided to help her by getting her meds and bringing her gingerale and holding her hair while she vomited, so that all happens and than they are talking for an hour apparently when she says "I want to kiss you" and she does, and he kisses her back, but apparently it was only a peck and lasted two seconds and was her way of saying "thank you" but I find it hard to believe it was a "friendship" kiss like he claims. The worst part is his sister told me he told her it was because he was horny (being off drugs and all). He always claims I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen but than he jepordizes our relationship and gets kicked out of gateway just for a kiss? Should I stay with him? I know he loves me and has never shown any sign of cheating ever before, but has his feelings changed?
  • May 21, 2009, 05:13 PM
    bronzebabe

    Drugs make you do stupid things. I wouldn't like what he did, but he apparently was Nice to the girl who was going thru a bad time.
    If he is doing drugs, it's Not a good environment for you. Maybe let him detox a while.
  • May 21, 2009, 06:15 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    His sister to you that he told her,
    Heavens is this JR high or are we adults,

    When you asked him about it personally and the two of you talked about it, what did he say.

    So he was coming off drugs and kissed someone, bet he did a lot worst when he was on drugs, most users do.
  • May 21, 2009, 06:19 PM
    Alty

    I'd be more worried about his drug addiction then his apparent infidelity.
  • May 21, 2009, 06:30 PM
    JoeCanada76

    It seems to me he was trying to support this girl. I also think the drugs is a bigger concern and him getting himself straightened out.
    You question what he feels for you, but it this guy was just being a man and helping somebody else through a rough time. Does not mean it will go further.

    Joe
  • May 22, 2009, 02:56 AM
    Catsmine
    I have to agree with the rest of the experts here. The guy is trying to put his head back together. He helped a fellow sufferer. A kiss is not a huge reward there. Once he gets himself together, you guys need to see if your relationship has a future. Right now he doesn't know if his LIFE has one. You have the power to change his life right now. Support him or destroy him, it's your choice.
  • May 23, 2009, 02:13 PM
    lovinthetrail

    Lame! Drugs or no drugs, kissing another woman tells the intents in his heart. Now, it is not up to you as a GIRLFRIEND to put up with drug crap... if you were his wife, I would say you do need to try to help him, but with the realization that he is not in this world right now with his mind. Loving an addict is a battle with the universe... so, since he is quick to cheat on you, and there is a very, very, long, hard, road ahead, I would say just get out of the picture. He is not on the same wavelength as you, and if he really wanted to, he would put everything aside and be responsible as a partner. Do you want someone like this to be the father of your children? Relapse is always possible. And infidelity is easy. Not that you have to treat him badly, but you have to take care of you, girl!!
  • May 23, 2009, 04:31 PM
    Catsmine
    Izzyy, it's your choice. How do YOU feel about the relationship and him? Is he or it worth saving? Obviously Lovinthetrail doesn't think your investment is large enough for the risk you are running when you find out what the drug free boyfriend is like. Odds are he will be a different person, do you want to hang around to find out?
  • May 23, 2009, 05:51 PM
    Ren6
    He kissed a girl, he's a drug addict, and he's horny because he's de-toxing... what about this guy exactly do you find alluring?
  • May 24, 2009, 12:43 PM
    Izzyy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Izzyy, it's your choice. How do YOU feel about the relationship and him? Is he or it worth saving? Obviously Lovinthetrail doesn't think your investment is large enough for the risk you are running when you find out what the drug free bf is like. Odds are he will be a different person, do you want to hang around to find out?

    I'm going to stick around for now because he is going through a lot and I would want someone to stick with me and give me the benefit of the doubt, I can't see the future and he may change, but if not I do have the option to leave. Thanks for your advice :]
  • May 24, 2009, 12:57 PM
    homie_fry23
    LEAVE HIM!
    He sounds like a ja* off.
  • May 24, 2009, 06:54 PM
    rimania

    Well it s difficult to judge and I agree with all answers
    I guess his kiss just he wanted to help her to ovecome her disease not cheating you
    But you must be careful he is using drug and it s better to think of it seriously he might not be good for you
    If you ask him to stop using drug if he refuses better to think of someone else
  • May 25, 2009, 03:41 AM
    Meow420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Izzyy View Post
    I'm going to stick around for now because he is going through alot and I would want someone to stick with me and give me the benefit of the doubt, I can't see the future and he may change, but if not I do have the option to leave. Thanks for your advice :]

    go with your gut. We all make mistakes. Some people deserve a 2nd chance and some don't. If you think he does, go with it!! X x x x good luck

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