Well, I have been in a relationship for roughly two years now. At the beginning everything was bliss. Now, our love grew for each other immensely and we care about each other very much. But, we have been fighting, bickering, getting annoyed with each other, etc... for the past 3-4 months. We both tend to have short fuses with each other and pick on the tiniest of details. We have sat down several times and discussed this problem in a clam matter. We both do not want this to occur but it keeps happening. I feel like she is losing feelings towards me every time we fight and the same goes for me. I want to be with her very much and I love her with all my heart. On the other hand I feel like I do not have the freedom or space to do some things on my own. I approached her several times and explained to her how sometimes I just need some personal space. She agreed with me and told me how she needed the same space. But even though we have talked about this, nothing has changed. Now, every time I do something on my own, I feel guilty. I understand her perspective as well. I work several jobs and attend school full time. She on the other hand is busy as well but not as much as me. She has enough free time where she does not feel that she needs to do things without me. I on the other hand do not. I work all the time and do school work with the time left over. I spend every possible minute I can scratch up with her because I love being with her. But, I never have personal time to go out and either do something by myself or just hang out with friends. I am not asking for space all the time. I would love it if she came along with me and my friends or if she participated in the same activity.


What should I do? How can I approach her without making her feel unappreciated? Am I wrong to ask for this time?

Any help will be appreciated.
Thank you

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LiveLoveLearn

I spend every possible minute I can scratch up with her because I love being with her. But, I never have personal time to go out and either do something by myself or just hang out with friends. I am not asking for space all the time. I would love it if she came along with me and my friends or if she participated in the same activity.


What should I do? How can I approach her without making her feel unappreciated? Am I wrong to ask for this time?

Any help will be appreciated.
Thank you

---

You spend every possible minute that you can scratch up with her because you love being with her but... you never have personal time for yourself or to do something with your friends...

But then you say you would love it if she came along with you and your friends or if she participated in the same activity...

I may be a little confused... are you saying that you do all the things that SHE wants to do, but that she won't do the things YOU want?.

No, what I am saying is that occasionally I would like to have personal time where I do things without my partner.

What I was trying to say with that I do not want always to be with friends with out her or do an activity where she does not come with. It is OK if we do a task that I like together.

I hope that clears things up a bit. Sorry for the confusion.

Ok. I know you have had this discussion before but nothing changed, so how about having this discussion again but this time, make a list of specific things you would like to do alone or specific times you would like to be alone? That way, not only does SHE know that when you do these things you need to be alone, but when you do these things, you won't feel guilty...

You are not wrong for asking for time alone... we all need our own time to clear our heads and think about things...

As for how to approach her, calm is always best, of course, but maybe do it when you both are feeling the most romantic... sounds strange I know, but if my boyfriend wanted to tell me that he wanted to spend a little alone time apart from me, I would begin to feel insecure... so make her feel secure BEFORE you bring it up... and reassure her AFTER you bring it up... and when you return from being alone... REASSURE her again... just a suggestion...

You two should probably take some time apart, I wouldn't say a break but maybe just time to really get your heads straight and decide if it'd be best if you two stayed together or broke up. All couples go through this and if you two truly love each other things will work out.