Like others.I cannot take her off my mind.
We have been together about 3 years and split up a couple of times in between... Her parents were not very keen in me... than she came back. We moved into a flat in Northo London and She really liked it because it was close to her work and Uni. I was married before her and lately moved to the house previously bought (2nd house). SHe hated it. We split up... she couldn't find anywhere so she asked for a second chance... ok... our relationship had lots of problems.Then, 2 months ago, she is moving out.. Her friend is giving her a room to rent, gone... I even gave her a lift and she left me the like a taxi driver. Nop remorse, no looking back and wonder... I wanted to be simply loved, someone who cares and put me first.. She was not giving this to me. It was my fault, work work work, come home whilst on the phone with a mate, ignore her. Trust ! Told her I didn't believe in her? What a PRIC I AM! I lost her because I never gave her real attention. When we went out she would walk either in fornt or behind me, with her parents she is ignoring meand I get upset.. It was bad in bed. No passion. My fault. I called her she say she moved on... no way we are going back, sorry. I realized where we went wrong baby! Please give a chance, I cannot see through without you. NO NO NO. I stop calling, delete her number, messages e-mails. She send me a message... I had a bad dream about you, want to know you OK? I answered, yes I am, then I call again.. can we meet ? I really miss you! NO NO NO. I asked her not to message me anymore.. she didn't. I start running, decorating, going out. Doesn't help. SHe is there in front of me. 2 months I see her everywhere, I cry when I'mn running, people look at me, they think I'm exausted. "friends" they tell me don't worry it will go... stop contact (bought the book) can't do it. Called her again yesterday, do you have someone? Maybe... maybe yes maybe no. Checked Facebook, she has a new friend, maybe he is the guy. It hurts like hell. Called my cousin and cryed... no sleep tonight, up every hour thinking of her. When she moved out she said sorry, I wasnted to move out in January but didn't kow where to go... U used me a bit. I wasnted to marry her, planning on proposing this coming xmas. NO NO NO.. But you said you love me? What is happening in my head? I'm confused... I want her back.. I'm jelaus I cannot bear the idea of her being with another guy... is killing me. If I think of her with another man... my head hurts, cannot concentrate. There is not help for this ?
I'm sorry! I guess I'm writing things as they come up... I can't stop crying for god's sake!
She said she call me back last night
But her phone was off
Maybe she went out with someone... please no
What do I do