Ask Me Help Desk - She wants to "take a break"

My girlfriend wants to "take a break for a day or two". I know she loves me, she said she still does, and I believe her. What bothers me though, is her friend. For her friend's birthday, (before I met my girlfriend) The friend, my girlfriend, and the friends boyfriend were going to have a threesome. My g/f told me this not long after we started dating, I told her I was glad she wasn't. I will be honest, I view the friend as an "oversexed slut".

My girlfriend has become increasingly quiet these last few days. Today she said she needs a one to two day break. On Monday she says that I never give her time to herself, so I backed off a bit. She went for a walk with her friend, and ever since she has been very, unhappy it seems. Another friend of mine said this "She wants to take a break for a day or two, so she can have her threesome, and it would be that she wasn't cheating on you". That comment made me wonder a lot about this. Please tell me what you all think is going on. I love her so much, I cannot imagine myself without her. I have been leaving her alone, and it has been about 6 hours since she mentioned the break, but it has seemed like forever. I miss talking to her. I am so worried that things won't be okay. I love her, I would do anything to avoid losing her, please help me.

If she asked for space, you're just going to have to give it to her. I don't think it's just about the threesome, it sounds like her feelings for you might be changing.

You sound pretty needy. Leave her alone until she sorts out her feelings, not just for 1 or 2 days.

Quote:

Originally Posted by I wish

If she asked for space, you're just going to have to give it to her. I don't think it's just about the threesome, it sounds like her feelings for you might be changing.

You sound pretty needy. Leave her alone until she sorts out her feelings, not just for 1 or 2 days.

For the last 3 days I am been trying to leave her alone, its so hard. I just want everything to be okay, I am willing to make sacrifices.

If you're willing to make sacrifices, then leave her alone until she sorts it all out. She will contact you when she's ready. Show her that you respect her, be patient.

I just talked to her. She means she wants a break from seeing me this weekend and at school. She wants the little bit of time we have left before graduation to see them. We got mixed up with texts

It sounds to me like she wants to do what she likes because obviously staying together with you is holding her back. You don't need to be with someone who is willing to do that to you.

Even if you guys got back together, would you be willing to put up with that? Every time she wanted to do something, she'd leave you until she's satisfied about whatever the hell she's doing and then get back with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajGambino

It sounds to me like she wants to do what she likes because obviously staying together with you is holding her back. You don't need to be with someone who is willing to do that to you.

Even if you guys got back together, would you be willing to put up with that? Everytime she wanted to do something, she'd leave you until she's satisfied about whatever the hell she's doing and then get back with you.

I meant that she just likes to hang out with her friends instead of mine. I don't like her friends much, and she knows that, so she is with them for the like 12 days of school left. I don't think anything holds her back. I get along great with her family, we do we do all kinds of stuff together (non-sexual, I like to wait at least 6 months). I go to my friends LAN parties, there is no reason that she can't hang out with her friends. I am glad I noticed that before the relationship turned really bad.

Just give her some time. If you don't like her friends then she's obviously not going to want to bring you with around them. Graduation can involve a lot of other emotions and maybe she really does just want to spend time with them while she can because they won't see each other much anymore.

She would not talk to me at all today, and she refused to even be near me at all. She broke up with me later tonight, to which case I was bawling, but here I am going to post the entire chat log. I am Aaro, she is Magin. Enjoy. She led me into thinking we would be together for the last few days, then breaks up with me, knowing full well her decision. My best friend pointed this out to me, and I realized that if she treated me that way, it was never to work from the beginning.
What I put in Red is me explaining it

Aaro3000209 (3:11:37 PM): Hey I am here on the computer if you need me
Aaro3000209 (3:58:57 PM): Are you not talking to me?
Magin1226 (3:59:26 PM): Not today
Aaro3000209 (4:00:12 PM): Oh OK, I'm sorry, but can I ask if it is something I did?

A few hours later

Magin1226 (9:39:26 PM): Im sitting with people

Aaro3000209 (9:39:39 PM): What are you talking about?

Magin1226 (9:40:10 PM): I don't one to sit with u

(this is when we have this graduation awards thing, she did not want to sit with me during it)

Aaro3000209 (9:40:23 PM): Okay, are you mad at me?
Aaro3000209 (9:41:39 PM): Are you breaking up with me?
Aaro3000209 (9:43:01 PM): Please talk to me, just for one minute? What is happening to us?

Magin1226 (9:43:41 PM): Can we talk about it at school

Aaro3000209 (9:44:02 PM): Please honey, I need to talk now, pease, for me?? Can we talk over the phone?

Magin1226 (9:44:38 PM): No at school OK

Aaro3000209 (9:44:55 PM): Please, tell me this, are you breaking up with me?

Magin1226 (9:45:32 PM): Can we talk at school

Aaro3000209 (9:46:03 PM): Please, just for me, why can't we talk now? I'm sorry for whatever I did

Magin1226 (9:47:00 PM): Because I'm going to get a shower than going to bed

Aaro3000209 (9:47:29 PM): Can we talk, just for 5 minutes? I really can't take it anymore
Aaro3000209 (9:49:21 PM): You are breaking up with me, aren't you? If you are, please just tell me now, I love you so much this is killing me

Magin1226 (9:52:28 PM): Don't get up sit I love you as a friend not as a boyfriend I feel like a we are more friend not boyfriend and girlfriend I'm sorry don't heart you self can we be friends that is why I was goi
This message of hers and the one below tie into eachother, the texts seperated, and since she was running from her phone and me from a computer, I was faster in response to her
Aaro3000209 (9:53:39 PM): We cannot be friends, I am sorry, I don't feel that way about you. But WHY are you breaking up?

Magin1226 (9:54:41 PM): Going to talk to you so it would be more nicer to you I'm so sorry don't be mad OK I just feel like I think so one better is out there for you and its not me I'm sorry

Aaro3000209 (9:56:11 PM): I cannot take this anymore, I love you, that is all there is, I am sorry it did not work out.

Magin1226 (9:57:16 PM): Me to that is why I would like to be your friend

Aaro3000209 (9:57:40 PM): If you love me, why can't you be a girlfriend?

Magin1226 (9:58:34 PM): As a friend I'm sorry
Magin1226 (9:58:58 PM): Are you and mad at me

Aaro3000209 (10:02:01 PM): I did love you but you led me on, I can't be friends with you
It hurts too much.You are leaving me for someone else,and that is clear

Magin1226 (10:02:58 PM): No

Aaro3000209 (10:03:00 PM): Why would you lead me on for this last week?
Aaro3000209 (10:04:00 PM): And what did I do or not do to have this happen?

Magin1226 (10:04:03 PM): I did but what ever This is what made me realize she was not for me

Aaro3000209 (10:04:36 PM): I am done with you, this is the last time I will be sending you a message. Goodnight "honey"

Magin1226 (10:05:53 PM): Im sorry don't be mad

Aaro3000209 (10:06:34 PM): I am not mad, I am bawling my eyes out but we are done it is clear

Magin1226 (10:08:30 PM): Ok I'm sorry I hope you find someone better OK I'm

Aaro3000209 (10:08:48 PM): It won't be hard to find someone better than you

Magin1226 (10:09:32 PM): Ill gave you your game back at school She borrowed a DS game

Aaro3000209 (10:09:57 PM): Give it to the office or something, I don't want to see you

Magin1226 (10:12:38 PM): Whatever but we should talk face to face

Aaro3000209 (10:18:11 PM): Your "whatever" isn't helping, we SHOULD talk face to face, but I cannot stand seeing you, it hurts
Aaro3000209 (10:18:35 PM): Give my game to Mr. Beatty, his room is next to where you sit. He will get it to me
Aaro3000209 (10:21:50 PM): goodnight I am sorry it didn't work out, and there is someone better than you. That person Won't lead me on, night

The point here is, find out her definition of a "break". It took me a long while to look at everything, and my best friend and her boyfriend helped me the whole way. If you feel like you are being led on, just ask. That is my opinion. I really do love her, and it is killing me, but I think you just need to let it go. It is not worth being with someone who does not love you back.

I know I sounded mean towards the end, but her "I did but what ever" made it sound like she doesn't care. In my opinion, you can't create a friendship from love. There is someone out there for everyone, and I do realize that I had an obsession for her. I talked to my psychologist, he says my personallity types make me very needy as the other gentleman said. At any rate, I will have to confront her at school on Tuesday, but I cannot go tomorrow, I need a day to get things in order. You guys all offered good insight, thank you.

I am hurting very much, I was crying for serveral hours, I just couldn't believe it. It is so important to let your emotions out, if you bottle them up, it just hurts you more.

Okay, cya all around, I hope this helps some people, it can be rough, but hang in there. It will all work out in the end. There will always be pain in love, but don't put up with too much.

I'm so sorry man, it must be hard of you to deal with. It seems like she didn't put in half the effort you did. It's clear that she wanted out and didn't love you as much as you loved her.

Don't worry bro, she wasn't the right one. You don't deserve to be with a girl who doesn't put in effort in a relationship. Disappear from her life, you owe it to yourself.

Believe me, I will be getting away from her. It hurts a lot, but we are going to schools 3 hours apart, so it wouldn't have worked well anyway.

Wow, honestly man. Re-read that and after the first "please talk to me, please" you left your balls at the door. You need to delete everything about her, myspace, Facebook, number, emails, can to can transmissions. EVERYTHING! This girl is obviously not ready for a mature relationship, and doesn't appear you are all that secure with yourself.

You did all the wrong things with that chat, expected of a first time break up. Now you know what not to do, let's regroup and go no contact. Read the stickies, stop dwelling and start living

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Wow, honestly man. Re-read that and after the first "please talk to me, please" you left your balls at the door. You need to delete everything about her, myspace, facebook, number, emails, can to can transmissions. EVERYTHING! This girl is obviously not ready for a mature relationship, and doesn't appear you are all that secure with yourself.

You did all the wrong things with that chat, expected of a first time break up. Now you know what not to do, let's regroup and go no contact. Read the stickies, stop dwelling and start living

I am trying, but it is hard for the next 3 weeks having a class together

I worked with my ex, saw her everyday, with her new boyfriend. It is possible

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

I worked with my ex, saw her everyday, with her new boyfriend. It is possible

Just 3 more weeks. She is the first girlfriend I have ever had. I just want it all to be over, I blocked her number, deleted everything, sent her this in an IM

Aaro3000209 (9:12:03 AM): I guess this is goodbye then, you will always have a place in my heart, this hurts so much, but it will only hurt more to see you

Magin1226 (9:38:39 AM): I don't think we are better as friend and it was not working out

The hell if I know what she is talking about
Aaro3000209 (9:38:54 AM): Give me an example of how it was not working out

Aaro3000209 (9:43:51 AM): I can't believe I let this happen to me again. I should have seen this coming .Goodbye, we can't be friends, I am sorry.
Aaro3000209 (9:45:59 AM): I am getting rid of everything about you, it hurts so much But let me be clear; you won't find guys as "nice" as I am.Goodbye
Aaro3000209 (9:47:57 AM): Oh yeah, I think I will go with my friend on this one. Let me know when you are ready to grow up. Not everything is perfect

That is it, thanks for all of the help

STOP talking to her. Don't let her continue to plague your life. Go about your business and heal. It will take time, the first cut is always the deepest but it's also the first to heal

At least now its over, but let me tell you something, you're a good case for impulsive and immature as I have ever seen.

Maybe its best for you to be single. Now if you could just leave her alone?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

At least now its over, but let me tell you something, your a good case for impulsive and immature as I have ever seen.

Maybe its best for you to be single.

I don't understand this

Look at your chats, they speak for the impulse and immature acts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Look at your chats, they speak for the impulse and immature acts.

Good Point, either way, I don't care anymore. 3 weeks and I will never see them again, or any of the s in my school