Okay so I'm 22 and my girlfriend, who was my first love, of three and a half years broke up with me after I was taking her for granted a little bit. Initially the problem was my fault and although I have immediately realised my blindsightedness and wanting her back, she is already seeing this other guy, like 2 days after we ended. So this is cutting pretty deep. Now I think she's my soul mate but it's probably too late. So like the script song, she's moving on and fine, I'm a total total wreck!

It has been two months now, and I'm in a really dark place. She contacts me occasionally and said she thinks of me, but this just seems to make things worse and fills me with false hope. I have friends and family who are really supportive, but life without her to share it with seems so futile, she was perfect for me. I'm also feeling totally inadequate because she's found someone straight away, I've not had any real interest, although I'm by no means bad looking or socially inept, I've never had much luck with girls until her and now she's gone I'm worried I'm going to be single for a long time to come. I've just broke up for summer and all my uni friends have gone home so I'm feeling pretty lonely to boot. I hate sounding so melodramatic but I'm struggling to get out of bed in the morning, and she, and what could have been, plagues my thoughts all the time.

I really just don't know what to do? Has anyone who's been here got anymore advice, I was hoping I'd be feeling better but now but it's still just so raw, I can't get her off my mind!

STOP TALKING TO HER.

No wonder why your recovery isn't happening, you keep letting her pick at the scabs. When you stop doing that, you will start to feel better

The reason you are probably picking up her phone calls is because you have this false sense of hope that you will get back together. Then she fills your heal with crap about how she thinks of you. She's completely messing with your mind.

Stop talking to her. Stop picking up the phone when she calls. Delete her from your IM, social networks. Block her out of her life.

You said you've been broken up for 2 months now? I can tell you that you probably made ZERO progress in recovering. You probably feel even worse now.

She dumped you and started going out with another guy 2 days later... what does that tell you about her?

Stop torturing yourself. Block her out of her life until you've recovered from this break up. Every time you talk to her, you restart all your progress.

I actually went through the same thing. I dated the same guy from 11-17. When we were 17 I begged him to take me to prom. He refused. I figured he was having family issues cause he wasn't the same lately. But he was just no longer in love with me. He started dating someone a week after he broke up with me and took her to the prom I was begging him to take me to. I thought he was perfect, he was my soulmate. NO. It hurt, BAD. But it was for the best. Life isn't over. Ignore her calls and HER. She doesn't want you back and you need to focus your energy elsewhere. Get a summer job, summer internship, or go visit friends or family for the summer. All great ways to get her off your mind, and potentially meet someone new.

Good luck!

She's not perfect for you, dude. No one is "perfect" so there's no way that they can be perfect for someone else.

She's moved on, maybe it was just to rebound and fill a void, but her actions are speaking more clearly than her words right now. If she cared for you as much as you think she did, then she would have tried to make things work with you, and if not she would have clearly communicated how she felt to you.

Have some more self-respect, man. Yeah, you messed up. Everyone on this forum has probably messed up what seemed like a great relationship at some point, but we've all learned from it and been that much better for our future mates. If not, we are at least better off for learning about ourselves.

Trust me, if you can't talk to her without wishing for something that you'll never get, then you need to stop talking to her at all. That means no Facebook or myspace, no shared interests, nothing. Go on with your life and remove all reminders of her. Only then will you start to heal.

She will try to contact you, but you need to ask her to stop until you learn to deal with your own emotions. If she cares about you at all, she'll give you the space you need to heal. Then when you realize that you don't need her in your life, but are still OK with it, you can try to work something out. Don't hope for it though - just go on with your life for yourself, and no one else.

~ Tee

It will help you a lot to start practicing letting go in general. Think of it as some sort of yoga or martial art: you have to practice. You have been turning in a circle, which is understandable but self defeating.

When you feel yourself tightening up and starting to pine over her, you can take a deep breath and say to yourself "Let go" or something else that works for you. You have to interrupt the pattern. Then relax your body and get on with the next thing.

This phase will pass and you will find someone new. Practicing will make it happen sooner because you will see it more easily.