Im in love with my boyfriend, everything about him just completes me, we laugh a lot, we just have an excellent time with each other and I've never ever felt this way about any of my other loves in the past. Im ready to get married, I'm not a party girl or any of that type of stuff. I just want to start my small family with my boyfriend and our dog, no kids and get my life together so when I decide to have kid in the future, which is very far from now we can be set and not struggle. I really love him and he really loves me but the downfall is ill be 20 in a couple of months and I'm just ready for us to be together... no we haven't been together for a yr yet but I'm sure in my mind and heart that everything we share is pure and ready. But I would like to know from others how should we go about this? Should I wait for a year or so like my mother says or should we do it like we want, because family is really important and I wouldn't want to lose them over me and my happiness. Be honest! :)

I would wait until you just know in your heart you can't wait any more. If you aren't sure it may not be a good time yet.

If you really love each other that much, then you would have no problem waiting. 20 is still really young.

You haven't even been together for a year yet. I'm sure there's lots about him that you don't know yet. Just enjoy your time together.

I know what you are saying, that you feel like you could already be with your partner after dating for a short while, but I also recommend you wait.

One thing is you will grow closer together and learn more about each other.

Another reason is that it will show others and yourselves you are not jumping into anything too quickly. It will prove to your parents that the both of you are making thing decision as mature adults and know what you are getting into, so in my opinion, please wait.

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

I know what you are saying, that you feel like you could already be with your partner after dating for a short while, but I also recommend you wait.

One thing is you will grow closer together and learn more about each other.

Another reason is that it will show others and yourselves you are not jumping into anything too quickly. It will prove to your parents that the both of you are making thing decision as mature adults and know what you are getting into, so in my opinion, please wait.

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I understand what you mean and yah it sounds right about waiting then making a move so you. Think I should just get engaged? And then see?

Right now you’re in love and you’re living the romantic dream. You can’t foresee anything going wrong with this wonderful, perfect relationship. So I’m not going to tell you that even things which seem perfect at the beginning can go sour.

I’m just going to suggest there is no harm in waiting, that anything as serious and important as getting married should be given a great deal of thought and because there is absolutely no turning back; it’s wise to wait a little while before you do it. I would suggest taking time to get to really know your BF, and involving yourself in work or study so that you can get more experience of life and living.

I will be telling you nothing new when I say that young marriages have a very high failure rate. Marrying too young and too soon is one of the top three reasons marriages fail.
Sadly, while there are instances and stories of young lovers marrying soon after meeting and those marriages lasting a lifetime, the truth is that most do not.

Nothing wrong with getting engaged with a later marry date.. waiting a year or two or even more is plausible. Especially considering that if you both love each other. Waiting should not matter. Take your time. Wait a year or two and see where things go from there.

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Originally Posted by goldenjewel

I understand what you mean and yah it sounds right abt waiting then making a move so you. Think I should just get engaged? And then see?

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Well from my understanding, if you tell people you are engaged, the next question is "When is the date?" So if you are not really prepared for that, give it some time. My opinion would be to let your parents get used to him, and the 2 of you being around each other. If it makes you feel better or makes you believe your relationship is stronger, get yourselves promise rings or something along those lines. It's a commitment you make to each other.

After about a year, maybe a year and a half, then I guess you could get engaged, but wait till you reach the 2 year mark before you actually get married. In fact, that could be an idea, getting married on your 2 years anniversary.

Trust me, I do know what its like to be young and have met the love of your life, and you want to be with them ASAP, but you got to give things time. Not everyone knows how you feel about each other or will understand, so while the rest of the world catches up with you guys, just take your time and grow closer to each other. The closer you guys are, the more people will see that this was meant to be, then there won't be any doubts among yourselves or objections from others. :)

Honestly if you really love each other then you should just get married, your might be upset for a little while but she'll get over it in no time... if this is what you want then go for it you are over 18 so you make the choices now not your mom... so do what you want it will all turn out if you try hard enough I promise


Stary eys

I am 20 and I am getting married in less then two months. My parents are NOT happy either. And it's more than just our age. They don't like my fiance' at all. But strangely enough, they can't give me any real reason why.We have gone several months without speaking and have just now reestablished a very strained contact. And I'm sure my whole family is placing bets on how long it will be until the divorce and praying that I leave him at the altar.
You need to be prepared for the fact that getting married at our age is not going to be easy. You're going to have to fight for it every day and you might cry a lot. You are both still changing and growing a lot. However, none of that is a reason not to get married as long as you truly love each other and want to be together.
If your mother is truly only requesting that wait until you have been together a year, then I don't really see a problem in giving her that small amount of time. But could she be using this time to convince you not to get married at all? Don't let your parents dictate how you live your life. It may be true that they only want what's best for you, but then again, you may wake up one morning and find yourself in bed with the guy that was "best" for you or wait until it is "best" for you to marry and not be happy because its not the life you want for yourself. Be careful about how much you are willing to bend for someone else's happiness.

So many young people are so sure, so fast, that marriage is the way to go right now, because what they feel is real.

Its not enough though, to keep a marriage going, and forever is a long time, compared with the less than a year you have already been together.

I think a better option is to enjoy getting to know each other, and take the time to establish what you really need to make it work.

Understanding of your own hopes, and dreams, and his. And even more important, having the willingness to work together thru honest communications, so you can resolve the issues, and problems, life will throw at you, TOGETHER.

That takes time, and work, so why rush such a young fragile relationship, when you can take your sweet time, and do it right for the long-term, and not just because those intense attraction feelings have you a glow and happy.

Trust me, that will fade and you will have to deal with the reality of what's left. That's why rushing into it, without a well thought out plan, is a disaster to many young, hard headed, in a rush youngsters, who don't take the time to really have it together.

You really don't have to put the added pressure to be engaged right now either, as what's the hurry? This is the time to enjoy each other, and let time work for you, as you see if your really going to grow together or not.

The more fun the better, and the less pressure from high expectations the better. If your in love, you will be even more so ready, in TWO years than you will be in ONE year.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

So many young people are so sure, so fast, that marriage is the way to go right now, because what they feel is real.

Its not enough though, to keep a marriage going, and forever is a long time, compared with the less than a year you have already been together.

I think a better option is to enjoy getting to know each other, and take the time to establish what you really need to make it work.

Understanding of your own hopes, and dreams, and his. And even more important, having the willingness to work together thru honest communications, so you can resolve the issues, and problems, life will throw at you, TOGETHER.

That takes time, and work, so why rush such a young fragile relationship, when you can take your sweet time, and do it right for the long-term, and not just because those intense attraction feelings have you a glow and happy.

Trust me, that will fade and you will have to deal with the reality of whats left. Thats why rushing into it, without a well thought out plan, is a disaster to many young, hard headed, in a rush youngsters, who don't take the time to really have it together.

You really don't have to put the added pressure to be engaged right now either, as whats the hurry?? This is the time to enjoy each other, and let time work for you, as you see if your really going to grow together or not.

The more fun the better, and the less pressure from high expectations the better. If your in love, you will be even more so ready, in TWO years than you will be in ONE year.

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I had to spread the rep T, but I just wanted to say that you can't put an old head on young shoulders.

Waiting seems so incredibly hard, but very often in our lives it is the best thing to do. If you love each other SO much, then taking your time will make it all so much the better when you finally decide that it's the right thing to marry. There is no rush - you have the rest of your lives.

Throwing in my vote for you to wait as well.

When you are considering someone for a lifetime, a year isn't even a drop in the bucket.