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-   -   This guy thinks he is in love with me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=355362)

  • May 18, 2009, 03:28 PM
    h_leann_b
    This guy thinks he is in love with me
    I have been on and off with my current boyfriend for about 2 years now. I am very happy with him and I love him very much. However, we were separated for about 4 months, and in this time I met someone online and we had been talking. We decided to meet (he lives 5 states away from me). He flew here and we had a really fun time. About a month later I went out to where he lives. At that time, I told him I had decided to get back with my ex to try to work things out, and that I wanted to still be friends.

    Well since then he has it in his mind that it will someday work between us. I am not in love with him. I never was. I cared for him as a dear friend, but that is all. He agreed to just be friends but he still tells me he is depressed. And how I am perfect and he wants to marry me etc. I have been harsh with him, and told him he has NO CHANCE. I am not sure what to do. He told me he doesn't know what he would do if he lost me as a friend.

    I have been very rarely talking to him; in hopes he will find someone else or get over me. I am not sure what to do. Any insight or thoughts? Thanks
  • May 18, 2009, 03:49 PM
    liz28

    It seems like your ex might be going through some things but his problems are his problems. If he feels like he is depressed them maybe it is time for him to see a professional to him sort things out.

    If he can't understand no means no and he can't take being just your friend then maybe you shouldn't be friends with him. Sounds like he is hanging on to false hope and thinks your going take him back.

    He is torturing hisself and it is time for you to set some rules and if he can't accept them move forward without him as a friend.
  • May 18, 2009, 04:01 PM
    siiighs
    He sounds obsessed, especially if you have with no uncertainty told him that there is no chance. You should cut ties with this man.
  • May 19, 2009, 02:46 AM
    witetiger

    More often then not I t is hard to be just friends with ones ex. Especially when he is still in love with you and hopeing to get you back. You are not doing him a favor by being friends its just feeds his hope for your return to romance with him .do him a favor and stop being friends let him know you care but cannot be his friend anylonger perhaps he will then be able to move forward and find someone who wants him
  • May 19, 2009, 03:00 AM
    ajGambino

    Cut all contact with this guy. He lives so far away, it should be easy for you. Problem solved for him. He will get over it.

    As for you, maybe you should be single for a while. Being on and off with your boyfriend for two years, while you're grabbing rebounds in between is very unhealthy. If you're uncertain about anything, back away and think about it alone before you hurt someone.
  • May 19, 2009, 05:43 AM
    Romefalls19

    Block his account and next time don't meet strangers from the internet, they seldom work out.
  • May 19, 2009, 10:41 AM
    h_leann_b

    Yeh, these are all things I have told myself, but it's good to hear them from other people. It sucks to break someone's heart. I wish there was a way around it! Lol. But I think its best to cut ties. Thanks guys for your honesty and wisdom .

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