Like I've,e said before I have been divorced for some time.I am interested in what people think about onlin dating.I,m sick of the bar scene.I mean I still go to bars,but when I'm there I'm not looking for women.I go to enjoy good times with my friends.I'm not saying you can't meet some interesting people and I'm not totally against 1 night stands.But hey I've had my share of those,but now at 45 yrs old,I'm looking for someone a can actually have a conversation with.I can't believe I'm saying that,I mean sex is one thing,and it's great sometimes but,sex is sex I don't care how kinking it can be,I'm in ,but in the end I want someone to be my companion.Nothing heavey I don't want some one leaving there toothbrush at my house YET.But you never know.Now I'm not completely stupid but at some point I'd like a meaningful relationship.I do enjoy living alone,but!! So what's your opinion people,just say it.What's your opinion on this subject.Don't you just love how I bable on for to long,LOL.Paul

I believe online dating is a great thing as long as its done safely. It's a great way to meet new people and possible lovers/partners.

BUT. If you meet someone online, and you wish to meet each other, meet separately at the mall. (you drive yourself to the mall, she drives herself to the mall, you meet in the food court or something) and do it during the day where there will be lots of people around.

Never meet at their house, or have them meet at your house. And never share information like address phone number or full name. Using any one of these items can make it SO easy for them to find you and hurt you or use your identity.

Good luck hon :D

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

I believe online dating is a great thing as long as its done safely. its a great way to meet new people and possible lovers/partners.

BUT. if you meet someone online, and you wish to meet eachother, meet seperately at the mall. (you drive yourself to the mall, she drives herself to the mall, you meet in the food court or something) and do it during the day where there will be lots of people around.

never meet at thier house, or have them meet at your house. and never share information like address phone number or full name. using any one of these items can make it SO easy for them to find you and hurt you or use your identity.

good luck hon :D

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Thank you for your advice I guess there are so many people usig i.d you can't trust anyone.I really hadn't planned on giving anyone my personel imformation,but just the same I appreciate yor advice.Just to add I was incarcerated befo and the women that I loved and lived with did f--k me over to the tune of 13,000$ in aperiod of 3 months of being in jail.That will not happen again.Because of that experience,I learned not trust a lot of women ,I'm not saying all women are like thatBUT!Ther's more to the story,but I think you got the drift.Thank you so much for reminding of Human nature.Thanks again.Paul

I found quite a few men online, and they are all nice, safe guys. The key is getting to know them.
Never give money to someone online. It means that they are using you.
Never give out too much personal info right away. keep the mystery.
Find people with similiar interests.
Good luck!

While I'm not against online dating, and know a few people it's worked for---I suggest that you ALSO take up a hobby in real life that gets you involved with people that have the same interests. Take dance lessons, join a hiking group, volunteer for something that interests you.

Meeting women at bars is so not where it's going to happen.

Done this for long. It's fun but there are things you should just remember when doing this...

1. Be cautious. Don't pour your heart out soon when you found someone interesting.
2. You must see this person on web cam every time you talk and call each others home phone, home phone.
3. You must be talking at least 3x a week.
4. You must know each others home address and can send stuff.
5. If there are inconsistencies on her previous stories stop communicating. You can be anyone online so liars are all over.
6. Talk to women who got a job. Avoid "sickly" women, with kids w/o husband, jobless and consistently whines about her lowly life. She maybe implying she wants money.
7. You must meet within a year of talking.
8. When relationship seems going to the next level, you must have spoken to one of her relatives.
9. Long distance relationship has a slim chance of survival. Your partner must be trustworthy and you should trust a lot.
10. Don't take it personally when people do not approve online dating. People have valid reasons and it's just you have to prove that you're on the right track.

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Originally Posted by superk

Done this for long. It's fun but there are things you should just remember when doing this....

1. Be cautious. Don't pour your heart out soon when you found someone interesting.
2. You must see this person on web cam every time you talk and call each others home phone, home phone.
3. You must be talking at least 3x a week.
4. You must know each others home address and can send stuff.
5. If there are inconsistencies on her previous stories stop communicating. You can be anyone online so liars are all over.
6. Talk to women who got a job. Avoid "sickly" women, with kids w/o husband, jobless and consistently whines about her lowly life. She maybe implying she wants money.
7. You must meet within a year of talking.
8. When relationship seems going to the next level, you must have spoken to one of her relatives.
9. Long distance relationship has a slim chance of survival. Your partner must be trustworthy and you should trust a lot.
10. Don't take it personally when people do not approve online dating. People have valid reasons and it's just you have to prove that you're on the right track.

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You said in #4, to know eachothers home address and send stuff. This is a HORRIBLE idea. It only takes ONE time to find that absolutely WRONG person and share that information with, and you end up dead.

#6. How dare you assume a woman without a job, and with kids and no husband is 'sickly' or somehow not worth it. That may be your preferance, but not everyone feels this way. I have known many relationships including my husband, where the man meets the woman who already has children and has no job and was never married.


I understand you have your own opinions, and I respect that. But you cannot give advice like this. Its incorrect and harsh.

How long have you owned your online dating site, superK? That sounds a lot more like "terms of service" than advice.

Paul, I have never met anyone in person that I knew online first, so my advice is probably obsolete. For what it's worth, talking to people has gotten me more action than any matchmaking activities. At the grocery in line, at the bookstore/library in the shelves, sitting on the bench in the park or at the bus stop, smiling and talking pleasantly will make you new acquaintances who may become friends who may become lovers. It can get you some hilarious stares, too.

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

You said in #4, to know eachothers home address and send stuff. this is a HORRIBLE idea. it only takes ONE time to find that absolutely WRONG person and share that information with, and you end up dead.

#6. How dare you assume a woman without a job, and with kids and no husband is 'sickly' or somehow not worth it. that may be your preferance, but not everyone feels this way. i have known many relationships including my husband, where the man meets the woman who already has children and has no job and was never married.


I understand you have your own opinions, and i respect that. but you cannot give advice like this. its incorrect and harsh.

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Rule in AMHD, disagree button is only used to correct a factually wrong post not when you disagree in the opinion.

I do not mean knowing each others address on the first day or first month. Personal info should not be given right away but a must later on, when that online dating progress. You can't talk to someone for 6 months: not knowing how they look like, not sure if you just have fictional location and just exchanging emails. You can be anyone you want online.

I've done international online dating for 3 years and lived on the area where online dating is like their livelihood so I know what I am talking about.

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Originally Posted by Catsmine

How long have you owned your online dating site, superK? That sounds a lot more like "terms of service" than advice.

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3 years. I met my fiancé online... My fiancé went through several women meeting them online first for 10yrs before he met me that's why I can't give anymore advice how to start. I am just giving Paul the little heads up and red flags when that dating progresses.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by superk

Rule in AMHD, disagree button is only used to correct a factually wrong post not when you disagree in the opinion.

I do not mean knowing each others address on the first day or first month. Personal info should not be given right away but a must later on, when that online dating progress. You can't talk to someone for 6 months: not knowing how they look like, not sure if you just have fictional location and just exchanging emails. You can be anyone you want online.

I've done international online dating for 3 years and lived on the area where online dating is like their livelihood so I know what I am talking about.

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My apologies hon. You are right. I got carried away with an opinion. I am sorry. Don't be mad at me :)

Would someone put a 'balancer' greenie on his post. The site won't let me give him rep again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

my apologies hon. you are right. i got carried away with an opinion. i am sorry. dont be mad at me :)

would someone put a 'balancer' greenie on his post. the site wont let me give him rep again.

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No problem, sweetheart.

Online dating is even worse than trolling for sluts in bars...

At least in a bar.. you can tell its actually a woman, and unless you get really smashed... know what they really look like.

Online people pretend to be everything they aren't in real life. Even if I wasn't happily married, I would not be looking for women online.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Online dating is even worse than trolling for sluts in bars....

At least in a bar..you can tell its actually a woman, and unless you get really smashed....know what they really look like.

Online people pretend to be everything they aren't in real life. Even if I wasn't happily married, I would not be looking for women online.

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From a woman's point of view, I've got to disagree with you, Smoothy.

Online dating is SAFER than most regular dating. Regular dates can follow you home, and know where you live. Regular dates have your phone number. Regular dates tend to know where you work.

People familiar with the internet and how people work on the internet can do the whole dating thing just fine. You get to know a person by the way they "talk" (type), the phrases they use, and if you talk to them long enough, you catch them when they're lying.

People pretend to be someone they're not in the regular dating scene too---or do the people you know who date ALWAYS dress the way they do on dates, with the women ALWAYS wearing make up, and with clean cars that indicate a clean apartment--one that's ALWAYS clean. People spend more on dates with people they're trying to impress than they do on a spouse.

Personally, I think the internet is a better place to date, and probably would have done so if I hadn't already been involved with my husband by the time it got popular. There are no pre-conceived notions about a person due to their looks, and you can find out whether someone shares your interests and intelligence level because you aren't looking at them going "My god, I can't stand the way his eyebrows look!". You're also MORE likely to be yourself, because you don't have to live up to a standard of looks, or have to try to overcompensate because you don't have the ideal looks.

I've been "playing" on the internet for some... omg, I can't believe it... nearly 20 years now. I can, most of the time, tell when someone is being fake with me, and when someone is pretending to be something they're not.

Well initially before you actually meet face to face it will be safer... problem is when you get to the first meeting you

#1 don't know if the person you chatted with is the person you are now meeting ( not literally, but personalitywise).

#2 You might now be alone with a person YOU might feel you know but nobody else has seen or likely knows. In a worst case situation this can be far more dangerous.

Its all a balance... there are pro's and con's. Just by readiing the threads here few people are able to really see the real person behind the screen based on the threads I have read.

True.

I guess my problem is that I assume that everyone has common sense.

By the time I've met people face to face that I met originally online, there are TONS of people in my life that know about that person. In many cases, I've introduced those people to other people I know, either because they live in the same area, or because they also have similar interests.

I'm the same person IRL as I am online. Except I'm probably a bigger beeotch in real life.

Dating is dating, to me. As long as you THINK before you do something stupid, you're probably okay.

Yeah... I've seen so few people with common sense I assume most people don't have much of it until I see otherwise.

I'm a straight shooter. I tell it like I see it. Was never one for PC BS.