Ask Me Help Desk - What should I do?

My boyfriend just broke up with me and I don't really understan what's happening. His name is justin and me and him have been together for almost a year, we are both 18 and leaving high school soon. He soon will be joining the navy in January of 2010. I love him so much and I really didn't want to lose him. Ok back to the story, two days ago after school he said to me that he loves me and will be with me forever and he can't wait to moove in with me in 2 days then out of no where he says he doesn't think we are going to last because he was leaving to the navy soon. I can't eat or sleep I miss him so much. He isn't even talking to me, usually after we break up we come back together because we love each other so much and we were planning on getting married soon. What should I do to get him back? I need him and I want him in my life, for the rest of my life. We both lost our virginity to each other and he is my first actual love.

I'm sorry for your loss, I really am. I know what you're going through, I've been there, still am actually.

He's your first love and now you've felt love and what it is to be loved. I know you don't want to lose him but you cannot crawl back to him when he breaks up with you. For some reason he doesn't want to be with you anymore and you have to accept that. It's sad but true, even if he did say all those things.

This is what you have to do. Don't talk to him, don't try to contact him and try to focus on your life that makes you happy without him. He might come back and he might not, but don't ever EVER hope. It will prolong yourself to get back on track personally.

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it's for the best... and you will see results of you being happy again if you stick true to NC.

Sorry aj, I disagree. But not in a bad way :) I see your point :)

I think it would be a good idea to sit down with him and explain to him how you feel. And let him know that you are willing to wait for him.

Many boys/men feel a fear of being with a girl while in bootcamp/basictraining/deployment etc. out of fear that their girlfriend will not want to wait around for him, or worse cheat on him.

At least try to get him to talk about what it is holding him back from your relationship. I love you is not normally said lightly, and if he does love you, he may simply be scared.

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

i think it would be a good idea to sit down with him and explain to him how you feel. and let him know that you are willing to wait for him.

many boys/men feel a fear of being with a girl while in bootcamp/basictraining/deployment ect. out of fear that thier girlfriend will not want to wait around for him, or worse cheat on him.

at least try to get him to talk about what it is holding him back from your relationship. i love you is not normally said lightly, and if he does love you, he may simply be scared.

I use to agree with you... until things happened to me.

I see where you're coming from though. :)

While it would sound reasonable to want to sit him down and talk to him, he has told her he doesn't want to be with her and is avoiding contact. She has to respect his decision and try to get her life back, as she seems to have given it to him. Her trying to sit him down when it's gone to this point will only suffocate him, as he clearly stated that he does not want a relationship anymore. I'm sorry.

Snuggy, this might not seem like it now, but this is a good thing. You need to be happy with yourself and your life. You're only 18 sweety, try to live your life. Sure, it sounds selfish but the most important person you need to be worried about is you right now. Try to keep your head up.

OK, well now something else has happened. He walked up tp me and said I love you hugged me kissed me on the head and left. What does that mean? I am going over to his house in 3 hours to drop off a note that says I love him and I want to work things out and a bunch of stuff like that. His parents hate me so I was just going to drop it off on the door step and he doesn't have a phone or internet to reply to me. Do you think he will come back to me?

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He soon will be joining the navy in January of 2010.

I agree with both the above posters. He is leaving, and doesn't want you to wait for him, and that's a reasonable decision, whether its from love, caring, or fear.

Not only should you honor his decision, but move on, and not wait to see if he does come back to you.