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-   -   General Question (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=35395)

  • Sep 28, 2006, 02:58 PM
    BIM
    General Question
    I was baptized Luthern. I would like to start going to church again, but am uncomfortable going back to church. My husband probably won't join me and I am tired of waiting for him to go with me.

    I am uncomfortable, because I tried one time before and didn't feel like I became a part of the congregation. I felt people always looked at me because on was a "stranger." How do I get over this awkwardness? I am usually a pretty outgoing person, but am very uncomfortable with this sort of thing. Is it because I feel bad I haven't gone for so many years (9)?

    I feel like a bad person because I haven't been very religious for so long. Also, I have not had my 9 year old son baptized yet either. I feel horrible about this, but I do not belong to a church to have this done in. Am I a bad person for not having him baptized yet? Would he go to heaven w/o being baptized?

    Also, another reason I am uncertain about going back to church is the money situation. I do not make much money, and I feel like trash if my offering cannot be very much. I think people should be able to go to church and give what they can afford.

    For my religious history I am lutheran, I belonged to a church during my previous marriage, my ex would not go to church with me, so I became a member by myself and had plans to get my son baptized, but then the month prior to his baptism everything between my ex and I started to happen and fell apart, and that is when I moved away from my town and haven't gone back to church since.

    Why do I feel inferior?
  • Sep 28, 2006, 04:18 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Some churches in their member make up are more friendly than others,

    And no one knows how much you give, put a dollar in if you feel you have to give, nothing if you can't afford it, it does not matter, it is all in your head and you are letting your fear of what could happen, stop you from going to church.

    Next your son don't have a choice, he can't make you baptise him, some religions don't believe in it, other do ( actually the majority of christians do baptise their infants, and most of the others dedicate)

    And what does problems with ex's have to do with baptism, I am going to be very BLUNT, but you are just making excuses, it is too cold, it is too hot, they don't have a paved parking lot so my car will get dusty.

    You go to church to fellowship with other christians, you send your son to Sunday school so he learns the bible stories and can have friends who are christian. You go because God wants us to fellowship with others.

    So you feel inferior because like too many Americans you don't take God and Religion seriously, it is a OK pass time when you don't have anything else to do, but you don't have any commitment.

    In China or Russia before the fall of communisim, There were more Christians baptised than in the US, and it could mean death or prison if you were caught, but they risk losing their life, losing their families to worshop God.

    There is a story about a young Muslim girl who was converted and when she came to church to be baptised she carried a suit case, the preacher asked her if that was a change of clothese for after the baptism, she said no, that as soon as she was baptised, her father would put out a death notice on her and she would have no place to live , no where to go and nothing but what was in her bag.

    That is what real Christianity is all about.
  • Oct 8, 2006, 11:44 AM
    Morganite
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BIM
    I was baptized Luthern. I would like to start going to church again, but am uncomfortable going back to church. My husband probably won't join me and I am tired of waiting for him to go with me.

    I am uncomfortable, because I tried one time before and didn't feel like I became a part of the congregation. I felt people always looked at me because on was a "stranger." How do I get over this awkwardness? I am usually a pretty outgoing person, but am very uncomfortable with this sort of thing. Is it because I feel bad I haven't gone for so many years (9)?

    I feel like a bad person because I haven't been very religious for so long. Also, I have not had my 9 year old son baptized yet either. I feel horrible about this, but I do not belong to a church to have this done in. Am I a bad person for not having him baptized yet? Would he go to heaven w/o being baptized?

    Also, another reason I am uncertain about going back to church is the money situation. I do not make much money, and I feel like trash if my offering cannot be very much. I think people should be able to go to church and give what they can afford.

    For my religious history I am lutheran, I belonged to a church during my previous marriage, my ex would not go to church with me, so I became a member by myself and had plans to get my son baptized, but then the month prior to his baptism everything between my ex and I started to happen and fell apart, and that is when I moved away from my town and haven't gone back to church since.

    Why do I feel inferior?

    Hi, BIM,

    I don't know why you have such feelings, but I do know that if you persist in attending the congregation of your choice that you will soon feel less of a stranger. I suggest that you contact the pastor and explain your position to him. That will, I am confidant, make a big difference to you.

    Let us know how you get on.

    M:)RGANITE
  • Oct 8, 2006, 08:44 PM
    s_cianci
    You're supposed to tithe 10% of your income to God, through the church. Regardless of how much or how little you earn, 10% is what God commands. If you adhere faithfully to this you have no need to feel trashy or inferior. Join a church where you feel comfortable and the congregation makes you feel welcome then have your son baptized.
  • Oct 9, 2006, 07:24 AM
    talaniman
    Visit different ones and see where you feel the most comfortable.
  • Oct 9, 2006, 11:39 AM
    charlie123
    First of all, I would like to say that I'm sorry that you are having these feelings. I think that it is very normal to feel guilty - but I think that we should remember one thing - that we have a 'loving God' & he understands what you've been going through. I have personally had a lot of the same feelings about church that you have. I too - have felt like that I was being judged & shyed away from even other social interactions. I suggest finding a small church & visiting. Or if you have a friend or family member - maybe they could take you & your son as their guest.

    As far as tithing - I believe that you should give what you can afford - I don't believe that you or your son should do without to give to your church.

    And my opinion on your worry about your son not being baptised. Please keep in mind aga in that God is a 'Loving God' - & as long as your son is saved - and knows that Jesus died for our sins. Then he WILL go to heaven.

    I am not Lutheran - I am actually Baptist. And I know there are differences in the beliefs of the different denominations - so you might would like to visit other churches.

    I hope this helps you with your worries.
  • Oct 9, 2006, 11:56 AM
    BIM
    I want to thank all of you for your thoughts on this subject. I do like to believe that I am not making excuses, as above mentioned. I can also see that point of view, but I know my situation.

    I think I will start visiting some smaller churches and see where it goes from there. I am sure God will forgive me for my son being baptized late in life.

    Thanks to all.:p
  • Oct 9, 2006, 04:56 PM
    EthelBuch
    Hi:
    I appreciate your feelings about religion. I too felt that way when I stopped attending church services. I became angry with God because my husband and I divorced. I struggled without the love of God and it turned my life upside down. Nothing went right etc. When I realized that my relationship with God was more important for myself and my children; I let go of wondering how people would look at me, or whether I had the right clothes, or money for the offering and dressed my children and went back to church and back to the will of God. I'm Pentecostal, not that it matters, but you need to pray and ask God to lead you to the church where HE wants you, not where everyone is your friend, but where you will be effective and grow, and learn and your son, when he is spiritually mature, will come to realize his need to be baptised on his own. This is a decision that each person must make when they are ready. The voice of God calls each of us at different seasons of our lives. Don't let your season pass you by. God bless you and I pray this has helped answer your questions and put your heart and mind at ease. In the book of Matthew, Jesus said "Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these other things will be added unto you"

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