I've been dating this guy for about 2 years. He's my first 'real' boyfriend. We're both in college and he's about to graduate. We'd been dating for 9 months and I moved in with him, but moved out 4 months later because we began arguing a lot and I couldn't handle the stress. That was the beginning of all our arguments. Now we have arguments every 2-3 months or so. Its like clockwork. Sometimes its little things, other times, its not. I've been very busy lately with school and work and haven't been able to spend a lot of time with him. This last week we went on a double date with a few friends and I thought we had a great time. But a few days ago, he called and I was doing homework and didn't have time to talk to him and I told him all that. 2 minutes after we hung up I received 2 texts that said "I'm not sure what's going on lately but you haven't seemed like you even really care about us much. Even friday night (double date nite) or whatever you just seemed not to care" and "I'm just gonna leave you alone since apparently you haven't seemed remotely interested in talking to me for like the last week". I have barely talked to him in the last couple days because I got upset over those texts. I wouldn't say that I've been around a lot because I'm busy, but just because I'm busy, doesn't mean I'm not interested right? I have a life outside of him. This guy gets upset when I don't answer a text within 5 minutes and is constantly texting me throughout the day. I get various texts of "I'm bored" all the time... ummm... what am I supposed to do about that. He takes classes online and a few on campus, but then goes straight home and plays video games. He doesn't have a lot of friends and doesn't seem to be bothered by that (but then again expects me to be at his beck and call all the time and when I'm busy he gets upset). If I spend more time with my mother or friends than I do in a week with him, he gets upset. My mother and I are very close, and he doesn't get along with her (it's taken me almost 2 years to get him to even sit down at a meal with her, and the only reason he's done that is because I told him that there is no relationship if he doesn't at least talk to my mother or even the rest of my family when we're out doing stuff, but even now, he does it grudgingly--I feel like I have to push him to do things like that. He doesn't have a close relationship with his parents (really doesn't like them either to be honest), so I understand, but I don't have a close relationship with my father and he expects me to just forgive and forget everything my father has done to me in the past... doesn't seem quite fair). Also he's constantly hanging all over me. He's very clingy and it has begun to get aggravating. I usually go over to his house after my classes on Thursdays and I sit there for 2 hours because he wants me to figure out something to do (and this is all the time). I have a very close friend who is in the Airforce, who've I've been close with since High School, and we talk on the phone or write to each other, and my boyfriend gets mad at me because I'm talking to him at night (which is the only time I can talk to him... and its not an every night occurrence.) I know that my friend has feelings other than friendship for me, but he'd never act on it when I'm in a relationship. He is the complete opposite of my boyfriend and I think I might have begun to get feelings for him, but I'm not going to do anything about it until I figure out things with my boyfriend. But my boyfriend is constantly scared of losing me. Whenever we get into an argument, he sits there and tells me that he's going to change, that he's a crappy boyfriend and that I deserve so much better and I begin to feel bad and think that the arguments are all my fault and believe things will change, but this time, I think I've become smart and realized that things will not change, and that he's just trying to keep me around. My friends and my mom all say that I should date my friend and that I do deserve so much better, but I don't know. I do know that I'm tired of the arguments and the stress when we have arguments, but I don't want to hurt him. I'm not sure what I need to do. Whenever I talk to him about how I feel, he gets angry and another argument begins. I don't know how to approach him about my feelings without him getting angry, and I've gotten to the point that I don't think I even want to be with him, but I'm scared that (as is typical) I won't find a guy better than him and his family and him have done so much for me in the last two years. Please give me some advice on what you think and what I should do and how I should approach this. Thanks!
