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-   -   Issues with children (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=35325)

  • Sep 27, 2006, 07:42 PM
    Hola
    Issues with children
    I was dumped 6 months ago by a person I've been in a relationship with for 6 years. I have a 9 year old daughter who was raised by him for those 6 years and played the father role more effectively than my daughter's real father. The dumper is not her biological father. He has since moved on and actually left me for another woman. I expressed my concerns about my daughter, who he claims feels like his own daughter, and how his current relationship may affect his relationship with my daughter. I asked him what would would happen if this person he loves begins to get bothered with this relationship he has with my daughter. He stated that if any woman would have a problem with it, she would either have to accept it or he would let them go.

    Since that talk, his current girlfriend (long distance relationship) is flying in and 2 of the 5 days she's here, he was trying to find someone else to bring her to school. In another month, he is not available for one weekend, the weekend I'm scheduled to work and that puts me in a bind. If he's planning to fly and visit her then he is putting this relationship before my daughter. I am aware that he no longer has anymore obligations towards her, but he expressed his wants to still be a part of my daughter's life. The reason I'm allowing it is because I am concerned about how my daughter will feel and how it will affect her. She loves him very much and even said that she likes him better than her real father. They have created a tight bond throughout the 6 years. I don't have any family where I live because I moved away and am not sure what to do.

    Should I cut all ties with him? If so, should I do it slowly or abruptly?

    I feel so much pressure trying to make this decision. Can anyone give me some input?
  • Sep 28, 2006, 02:49 PM
    Wildcat21
    This is easy - Abruptly. End it. He's not her father. Not sure why you did not marry him. He has no legal rights.

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