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-   -   Kind of a poem (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=352698)

  • May 11, 2009, 10:21 PM
    bladerecon
    Kind of a poem
    Hen I think of you, I wonder how you’re doing
    When I hear you, I become speechless
    When I see you, my heart starts beating
    When I touch you, I can’t stop
    When I kiss you, I want more

    We argue like were married
    We spend time together like we’ve known each other forever
    We make up like nothing ever happened
    We hold each other like that’s all we have


    I want it to be at least three stanzas long but this is all I have. If someone can get me someone can give me some ideas to finish this off it would be greatly appreciated.
  • May 11, 2009, 10:41 PM
    Clough

    Hi, bladerecon!

    Just some raw suggestions for you below for further ideas. I think that your ideas are great!

    But, I also think that things need to be re-worked some so that there's more balance to what you've written.

    Quote:

    When I think of you, I wonder how you're doing
    When I hear you, I become speechless
    When I see you, my heart starts beating
    When I touch you, I can't stop
    When I kiss you, I want more

    We argue like were married
    We spend time together like we've known each other forever
    We make up like nothing ever happened
    We hold each other like that's all we have
    To have and to hold you is what I want to do forever.

    I love you like no one I've known before
    I want you to be my one, true love forever.
    I need you as the flower needs the rain
    I hold on to my dream that we can be together
    Forever in the bonds of love.
    My additional ideas aren't perfect, but are just meant as suggestions to give you more ideas.

    I'm wondering why you didn't put something like this in the Writing forum topic area, please?

    Thanks!
  • May 11, 2009, 11:30 PM
    bladerecon
    Thank you Clough, your help was greatly appreciated. I had no idea there was a writing section. I will post it there.
  • May 11, 2009, 11:34 PM
    Clough

    Thank you!

    Things will be much easier and more workable in that forum topic area!

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