All my life, I've had lots of friends, had luck in my life and had an OK family. But have always felt like something is missing. After the death of my granddad I felt like I lost a piece of me. My family grew apart so I relied more on my friends. I've always felt different in my group of friends, almost snobbish for not liking the same stereotypical music, movies and clothes as them, I just felt different. Some of my friends are odd and make me feel unwanted on nights out even though they invite me out! My mam puts it down to their jealousy but I'm not so sure.
I've hurt people and they've hurt me but that's life.
However I feel I've been hurt so many times that I just want to go away, from everyone. I have a boyfriend who I love but I think I need some space. Just recently a friend of mine came home from holidays and has given me the cold shoulder because I've been so busy with college work(literally up to half 5 in the morning every night) that I haven't had time to meet with her. This is how she is though, she doesn't understand(and doesn't want to) and although I love her friendship, I'm getting tired of her selfish ways. Recently a male friend has excluded me from our college social circle because his new girlfriend is jealous of our friendship. However the reason she is jealous is because he told her he still has feelings for me unbeknowns to me!

I'm usually the friend that my friends come to when they're down because they trust my advice and know I can keep a secret. But who do I turn to when I'm down? Especially when they don't understand me?

Aside from all this, I get bad patches, I'm up, I'm down... I'm too sensitive then at times not sensitive enough. I'm getting tired of the social circle I'm in. I feel numb, on the edge and in desperate need of help.

If anyone has any help I'd greatly appreciate it. X

Look, you said yourself that you've got lots of friends, have been lucky and have a good family.

None of that has changed. Something within you has changed because you're viewing things differently.

So you're different to your friends - well, it's OK to be different - how boring would life be if our friends were the same as us?

So you've hurt some people - well, life is like that - take responsibility for what you've done and accept that it has happened. Learn from it and don't do it again.

So you've been hurt - well, welcome to the real world of feelings and pain. Now you know what it feels like when you've hurt other people. Learn from it and don't do it again.

You're probably tired, stressed and burnt out. Being despondent and a little depressed is a normal reaction to this. Naturally you'll be feeling less optimistic about the world. Give yourself and others permission to be human, get some rest and have a laugh.

Ultimately, you can't control what other people feel and think about you. But you can control how you feel and think about yourself.

Hi, moonflow!

I'm sorry that you're feeling and thinking the way that you are! Gemini54 provided for you some excellent advice, above!

If you would like, there is an activity that I like to do on this site with other to help them to feel better about themselves.

If you're interested in finding out what it is and participating in it, please let me know.

Thanks!

Maybe all your friends weren't really your friends to be begin with and you're just finding out now. You have to love who you are and enjoy spending time with yourself and not waste your time with people who are too selfish to have a relationship that extends both ways. But keep in mind it takes two to tango.

Hi moonflow,

I know your studies are very important but I think you have worn yourself out .

Sometimes you can study too much, in fact if your to tired nothing goes in.

I think you should allocate limited time if possible to your studies, otherwise you will suffer burnout... which I feel is what the problem is now.

This whole situation is making you feel extremely low, you need to remember the phraze...

WORK HARD and PLAY HARD

Meaning to survive there has to be a balance.

If you are happier in yourself then things will glide along much more easily.

I also think that, you up to a point have pushed your friends away, you have made it clear that you have no time for them... you must make time, meet , if only for a brief chat and a coffee.

It will also give your mind time to relax.

Your sadness is partially because you have isolated yourself, very soon loneliness creeps in and starts imagining all kinds of scenarios, that are happening around you, which when tired can play tricks in your mind...

How about inviting 1or 2 friends around on the condition that they help you with your studies... they can test you on things.

At least 1 day a week you must go out with your friends .

Whether it's to a club or movie, or perhaps a meal... you must do what ever is necessary to get you through, otherwise you will not last the coarse.

Learn to chill... recharge your batteries