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-   -   Mom giving me problems with religion (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=352056)

  • May 10, 2009, 12:25 PM
    none12345
    Mom giving me problems with religion
    Hey guys I have a problem,

    My mom has this religion she is very involved in and takes it really seriously. She would always pressure me to worship but I have decided this religion is not my way of life and I don't want to live by it. I've told her that, she told me she won't force me but she always does but I don't do what she tells me I mean when she pressures me to her religion. When she gets back she will always yell at me, find stuff to yell at me about, tell me how disappointed she is with me and we are never on good terms. Once she even threatened me if I don't go she will commit suicide. Im just so sick of it.

    What do you guys think? What should I do?
  • May 10, 2009, 12:40 PM
    solamente

    If you live with her, you should respect the rules of her home... that said, if you don't believe, then you should only give the bare minimum while still living at home. Continue to search to learn the facts about her religion, and learn about others as well.
    Whether you decide to become a practicing member of her faith or another is ultimately up to you, but while you are still stuck at home, perhaps you could go to a service once a month with her and tell her that while you respect her faith, you ask for the opportunity to come to your own in your own time. If she continues to pester you, show her the facts that concern you about her faith and tell her you are not comfortable with these things and you are not going to believe the way she wants.
    Also, if she continues to threaten suicide, speak to a trusted member of your family or another adult about this. Even if you think she is joking, you can't be sure if she continues to make such threats, and she may have some emotional issues she needs to deal with, outside of religion.
  • May 10, 2009, 12:47 PM
    Wondergirl

    Since you live under her roof, you are to be respectful of her religion. In fact, you would be very smart to learn all you can about it for future reference. The more you know about ALL religions, the wiser you will be when you come to the time when you choose one for yourself. Think of it as a learning adventure.
  • May 10, 2009, 12:51 PM
    none12345

    Actually I grew up with this religion and been following my mom to it for years now but over a couple of years I felt like its not where I should be because I don't feel like it's the way of life I want. I feel like I'm old enough to make my own decisions now I'm 19 and I respect her religion, I don't oppose it or anything I just don't think its right for me.
  • May 10, 2009, 01:01 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Actually i grew up with this religion and been following my mom to it for years now but over a couple of years i felt like its not where i should be because i dont feel like its the way of life i want. I feel like im old enough to make my own decisions now im 19 and i respect her religion, i dont oppose it or anything i just dont think its right for me.

    Fine. It's not right for you. But you still live at home and would be smart to be cooperative. Once you are on your own, you can make your own decisions. Right now, go along with her -- much less stress on both of you that way.
  • May 10, 2009, 01:40 PM
    joshdom

    If its not your beliefs then don't change for anyone. Do not give up fighting it. If you do, your confidence goes down and she will be doing it for the rest of her life.
  • May 10, 2009, 01:46 PM
    Squiffy78

    Just because you live at home does not mean you have to follow a religion you do not agree with. Be respectful by all means, but if you are old enough to be able to type on here, you are old enough to have your own mind. I have the opposite problem, my 7 year old daughter is religious, and I am not, I respect her right to have her beliefs and I support her for them, but I wouldn't force myself to subscribe to them myself. A half decent parent would let their child make up their own mind not force them to believe something if their heart isn't in it. Stick to your guns. As for the suicide threats, its emotional blackmail, tell her you love her but you have made up your own mind as she has made up hers.
  • May 10, 2009, 01:53 PM
    none12345

    Thanks Joshdom. I do see where everyone else is coming from too.

    My mom is telling me how ill become a failure just like my dad because I'm not going to her church with her... it really hurts to hear that. She says religion is the way of life.
  • May 10, 2009, 02:03 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Squiffy78 View Post
    Just because you live at home does not mean you have to follow a religion you do not agree with. Be respectful by all means, but if you are old enough to be able to type on here, you are old enough to have your own mind. I have the opposite problem, my 7 year old daughter is religious, and I am not, I respect her right to have her beliefs and I support her for them, but I wouldnt force myself to subscribe to them myself. A half decent parent would let their child make up their own mind not force them to believe something if their heart isnt in it. Stick to your guns. As for the suicide threats, its emotional blackmail, tell her you love her but you have made up your own mind as she has made up hers.

    Yup squiffy. That's what I think too. She is one of those crazy religious person, the religion means everything to her and she tells me she loves me and she just wants to save me and she says I'm disobedient because I don't go to her church and all those stuff and ill turn out a horrible person and all. It has nothing to do with the culture or anything though its just a religion she adopted a few years back.
  • May 10, 2009, 02:08 PM
    Nestorian
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Thanks Joshdom. I do see where everyone else is coming from too.

    My mom is telling me how ill become a failure just like my dad because im not going to her church with her.... it really hurts to hear that. She says religion is the way of life.

    Hey None buddy, I got something for you.

    Tell your mum you do follow the "faith", as you believe in it, but your relation ship with "God" is just different and you are taking a different path that's all.

    If that don't work try this. "Religion: a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs." (As definded on the onlind dictionary)

    In other words, religion is basically any kind of governing code of ethics or morals/values such as Law. So you do believe in religion, just a different name. The Italic part is implying that religion is not limmited to just the supernatural, but also those we see and use every day.

    I have much more, but it's a bit cold and harsh. I do not suggest you use it.

    May peace and kindness be with you brother.
  • May 10, 2009, 02:09 PM
    talaniman

    That's why kids grow up and leave, to live independently. But if you live at home you must respect your mom, and at least understand she wants what she thinks is best, and its up to you to curb your conduct and behavior.

    If its not religion, it would be the way you dress
    Act
    The music you listen to
    Your hair
    Your friends... etc.

    It will always be something, but what matters is the way you handle it.

    Whatever you choose, never forget about dignity, respect, and understanding, that she has the best for you in mind.

    This is Mothers Day, give her a hug.
  • May 10, 2009, 02:13 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Thats why kids grow up and leave, to live independently. But if you live at home you must respect your mom, and at least understand she wants what she thinks is best, and its up to you to curb your conduct and behavior.

    If its not religion, it would be the way you dress
    act
    the music you listen to
    your hair
    your friends................etc.

    It will always be something, but what matters is the way you handle it.

    Whatever you choose, never forget about dignity, respect, and understanding, that she has the best for you in mind.

    This is Mothers Day, give her a hug.

    Wow this was deep, took me a while to process it but I think I understand it. Thanks!

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