I had a close online friend for a few years. We got along fine. But we had a fight in Feb because I was sending her money to help her out when she was unemployed and then she used the money to buy me a gift. I was mad that she was rejecting my money and said I didn't want the gift and some letters and e-mails she sent were boring. I immadiately apologized the next day, but she got mad and said after a very brief fight she had nothing more to say to me. Well, that was mid Feb and I haven't heard from her since early March. I just sent her a card to try to get her back and she sent it back, marked rejected. How does one cope with this? I feel like I am dying. Also, was I in the wrong here? I need help and advice.

“It is not who is right, but what is right, that is of importance.”
-Thomas Huxley

"Friends will come and go, save for the few who will stay."

YouTube - everybody's free to wear sunscreen

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Helen Keller quotes

“What I am looking for is not "out there", it is in me”
Helen Keller quotes

Perhaps you should send your friend a post card, sorry message on it, and this quote:
“I wish you well and so I take my leave,
I Pray you know me when we meet again.”
William Shakespeare

Do not send this to your friend: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mahatma Gandhi


"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast. A wild beast may hurt your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. Avoid all hottie, conceded proud and arrogant minds. And remain peaceful and subdued.Pay no attention to the faults of others, things done or left undone by others. Consider only by what one’s self is done or is left undone. Generate compassion for lowly beings, and especially avoid despising or humiliating them. Do not be jealous of the good qualities of others, but out of admiration adapt them for yourself. Do not look for faults in others, but look for faults in your self and perg them like bad blood. Since you can not tame the minds of others, until you have tamed your own, begin by taming your own mind. No one saves us but our selves, no one can and no one may. We our selves must walk the path."-Buddha

I hope that helps. May peace and kindness be with you.

YouTube - All American Rejects "Move Along"

Also this song, not the suicide part, but the move a long even though it hurts.

I can understand your being angry that she didn't use the money in the way you'd hoped... but telling her that her emails and letters were boring was a hurtful thing for you to say to her. Apparently, she was stung to the core. I'm guessing she didn't feel you were being completely truthful when you apologized. If you still have her email address, make an electronic plea for her forgiveness. Don't mention the money or why you were angry. Just apologize for being hurtful to her. If she can't forgive you, you've then done all you could do.

Good luck...

Thanks so much. It might just take time. I think she has other things going on in her life as she was unemployed the last I heard, and depressed and had financial problems.

One thing I have learned is that anytime you lend a friend money, it will always come back to bite you in the rear... and that is because we always think we know what's best, and how WE would have used the money, and even though she bought you a gift with it, I think no matter what she did with it, you would have had a different plan... at least that has always been the way it was with me... when you lend money to a friend, NEVER expect it back, and NEVER expect that they will use the money the way YOU think they should... maybe, she was just showing you her gratitude the only way she knew how... and by the way, NO ONE that I know of, can do what I just said to do... we want to help, and so we do, and we can't cut off the emotions from there... it is a part of caring...

I would give your friend time, and definitely send another card or e-mail saying you over-stepped your boundaries... because to me, that is what you did... you gave her money, and then complained how she used it... think of it like a cake... you bake a cake for someone, and they eat some but not all and pass it around to others... was that what you intended? No, you intended it for ONLY her... but was what she did wrong? No again, just not what you expected. Just my opinion... I am NOT an expert, or this wouldn't have happened to me too!

I think you were in the wrong. You sound ungrateful as well.

You were helping this person out, and a way of saying thank you. She sent you a gift and you rejected that gift.

Then to top it off you told this person that the emails that were being sent were boring.

I know that people do get attached to people online and become friends. Sometimes those friendships do not always last. Just like in outside of the online community. Some friends stay strong forever and other friends fall apart.

You said what you need to say and now it is up to this person to contact you if they want to.

Just take this as a learning and growing experience. Which is exactly what this is.

Joe

I agree I'm in the wrong, but what's unconditonal love if you can't forgive? I hope she does, however she ignores my e-mails and returns mail I send her marked, refused. So obviously things don't look good right now. But she has done this before, and then changed her mind. I guess she was stung to the core.

One way to get her to read your e-mail is to put in the subject line what you want to say... keep it very brief so it won't be cut off...

Like: I was wrong... sorry...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gracie Angel

I agree I'm in the wrong, but what's unconditonal love if you can't forgive? I hope she does, however she ignores my e-mails and returns mail I send her marked, refused. So obviously things don't look good right now. But she has done this before, and then changed her mind. I guess she was stung to the core.

---

Tell me one thing what is "unconditional love"? Unconditional more or less means, with out reason.

Love with out reason seems to be a very rare find indeed.

To me unconditional love is forgiving someone who obviously loves and cares about you, and I obviously love and care about her.