Ask Me Help Desk - Friend want to kill himself cause of me.

Hey there! I got a problem, and I thought that I would give this page a shot, since I'm desperate, and completely clueless about what do to.

So this is my problem:
I got this good friend, who is crushing on this guy. To make sure that they stay anonymous, I call his crush David, and my friend Patrick. Patrick is bisexual, and is therefore into both guys and girls. David, is very straight and therefore only into girls. David and I are very good friends, and have had a thing for each other for awhile. Finally, not too long ago me and him started dating.
Now, Patrick consider this betrayal, because apparently him and David are so good friends, which I know is not true at all; Patrick has been lying to me and a lot of other people in a (desperate) try to get with David. I, myself think that I have all the access I want to date David because of the fact that Patrick has been lying and simply also that David is straight, and is not interested in guys.

Now, I have been told, that Patrick is going to shoot himself apparently because I "took" the one he loves. Pardon my french, but I think that is some serious bull and Patrick should get over it.

Sorry if I have made anyone mad by the actions I have made, I didn't mean to. I'm just a girl in love.

OK, as I understand your dilemma you are acquainted with two men? And you are currently dating one of them while the other has the hots for the guy you are dating? And if he can't have him he is threatening suicide? Am I right so far??
Here's what you do, contact a suicide prevention hot line and report this guy. Then get as far away from him as you can. He either has major mental problems or is simply manipulative. In either case you do not need to be in the middle of this situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 450donn

OK, as I understand your dilemma you are acquainted with two men? And you are currently dating one of them while the other has the hots for the guy you are dating? And if he can't have him he is threatening suicide? Am I right so far???
Here's what you do, contact a suicide prevention hot line and report this guy. Then get as far away from him as you can. He either has major mental problems or is simply manipulative. In either case you do not need to be in the middle of this situation.

Yes you are completely right. I might do that, I haven't quite thought of it. Also, he has sent me "harassing" messages, hoping I will die and cutting his wrists extra deep because of me.
Thanks for replying! :)

Indeed, but what is love?

Perhaps you are all at fault for your own distress over this particular issue.

Your at fualt for simply allowing your "love" for this david to blind you to the reality of your situation. Sure your friend Patric is being selfish, but now so are you while you judge him so. Nothing to be ashamed of, but I do not recommend being so mad about it. (no I'm not mad, but giving you what wisdom I can.) You would be wise to pay attention to what your values are, and to define your idea of "Love" so as to be able to set boundaries for your relationship. You, are yourself, and these two are themselves. Nothing will ever change that.

Patric is at fault for allowing his desire and jelousy to cloud his better judgement as well as his ability to see truth. He is in need of counseling, and if you are "really" his friend, you may take it into consideration to talk to him and reason things out, or ask him to go see a counselor.
Suicide, yeah, it's selfish. So tell me something that matters. Let me tell you what matters, Patric is struggling with his feelings and issues, stress and a lot more. He needs help to work through his emotional issues, and to find out just who he is, and if he really is your friend, then he should be capable of being happy for you two.

David is at fault simply for not noticing you're stressed about this situation. If he loves you, would he not be some one you confide in? Thus some one who would try to ease the situation for you, and maybe explain to patrick that he is not into guys.

There are no innocents when it comes to those who think they are right, and believe others to be wrong. For if you think like that, then you must know what's best... Or do you?

I hope you understand what I just said, it is not condesending, nor insulting, nor am I being rude, as I am simply relaying the possibilities that are still plossible. PLease seek the advice of a counselor, that may be best.

You are a good person, as are Patrick and david.

May Peace and kindness be with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nestorian

Indeed, but what is love?

Perhaps you are all at fault for your own distress over this particular issue.

Your at fualt for simply alowing your "love" for this david to blind you to the reality of your situation. Sure your friend Patric is being selfish, but now so are you while you judge him so. Nothing to be ashamed of, but I do not recomend being so mad about it. (no I'm not mad, but giving you what wisdom i can.) You would be wise to pay attention to what your values are, and to define your idea of "Love" so as to be able to set boundaries for your relationship. You, are your self, and these two are them selves. Nothing will ever change that.

Patric is at fault for allowing his desire and jelousy to cloud his better judgement as well as his ability to see truth. He is in need of counseling, and if you are "really" his friend, you may take it into consideration to talk to him and reason things out, or ask him to go see a counselor.
Suicide, yeah, it's selfish. So tell me something that matters. Let me tell you what matters, Patric is struggling with his feelings and issues, stress and a lot more. He needs help to work through his emotional issues, and to find out just who he is, and if he really is your friend, then he should be capable of being happy for you two.

David is at fault simply for not noticing you're stressed about this situation. If he loves you, would he not be some one you confide in? Thus some one who would try to ease the situation for you, and maybe explain to patrick that he is not into guys.

There are no innocents when it comes to those who think they are right, and believe others to be wrong. For if you think like that, then you must know what's best... Or do you??

I hope you understand what I just said, it is not condesending, nor insulting, nor am I being rude, as i am simply relaying the possibilities that are still plossible. PLease seek the advice of a counselor, that may be best.

You are a good person, as are Patrick and david.

May Peace and kindness be with you.

You say very wise words :) They made me think of some other things, but of course we are all very young. Me and "Patrick" are both 16 while "David" is 17. Not that I use this as an excuse. Also, me and David have not been dating for that long, Monday is a week and right now he got a very bad case of pneumonia.
I can see where your coming from, and I think it's all true. Thanks for replying :)

You just need to be there for Patrick as a friend. David needs to stay away from him. The more David is areond Patrick, Patrick is going to come more obsessed with David. This will not be good.