I have liked this one boy for at least a year now, and I held in my feelings for that whole year, but just recently I told him I'm in love with him, and he freaked out a little.

He said I'm sweet, cute, hot, sexy, and I have a really nice personality, that no other girl could come to, but he's not ready for a relationship.

He told me that he would have the whole 'friends with benifits' but he won't know if he'll ever want a relationship again.

He ALSO told me that he's falling deeper for me.
He's confusing me, like, giving me emotional wiplash or something.

Do you think that I should take friends with benefits and see how things go?

ALSO, do you think it will bring us closer?

He has said he likes me a lot too, like once, I sent a text saying 'i love you, and I'm sorry about everything' and he said 'i like you a lot too, but I'm just not ready'

Any advice on this you can give me, will be greatly appreciated, I can't seem to find anyone who can answer my questions or give me ANY kind of advice cause I'm just so confused.

Please, please help me. I'm begging you all!

Thank you xx
Charlotte.

Take what he is offering you at the moment 'friends with benefits' and see where that takes both of you. It may, or may not turn into something you want, but at least he is honest. That's a good thing.

Tick

I think the best approach to this is to take is words at face value. Like tickle said; at least he's honest; he wants to be friends with benefits. You should really take a moment and consider what that will be like for you... you can easily end up hurt if you don't believe what he says and keep (false) hope alive. Because it might eventually never lead to anything else, anything deeper.

Are you emotionally prepared to have a sexual relationship with someone you have deep feelings for? Will you handle it in the long run if it never evolves into something else, something more serious?

You want to be some guys booty call?

Or he wants you to be and you are seriously considering it?

Honey,you are worth so much more than that .Unless that is all you want from him ,you are just going to be his piece.

Honor yourself and show it and others will follow and then they would never even consider asking you such a thing!

Respect yourself. If you don't ,no one else will.

Treasure yourself! DO NOT give away your one precious self to make someone care about you. Only give to those who care.

He will never be ready for what you want when you give him free, uncommitted sex. Why should he??

You have already used up a year of your precious time so is the sex worth it? That's all he has for you, and that's what he said. Honest, but not a promising future.

It def very important to see what he says and take it seriously. When you go into a thing that is sexual you have to be very clear on what it is your going into.

Seeing as you are in love with him It really is important to take that into consideration as well. To have uncommitted sex with someone when one has strong feelings for the other can set of some emotional things in motion. There are also the biological side to it that deals with bonding.

And a side issue of false hope.

Like Tal said; you really have given a whole year to him already, emotionally. Why give yourself away physically as well?


Also what art lady said; you will essentially become his booty call. And in this situation it might be better to not be friends with benefits.

Whoa! He says that he likes you, doesn't want a relationship with you but wants to be friends with benefits? I'd tell him to take a hike.

The one thing that I've learned is that guys ultimately respect girls that respect themselves. So, repect yourself.

If he can't commit to a relationship with you, then it's 'thanks, but no thanks' to the friends with benefits offer.

I agree with Artlady - why be someone's booty call? What do you get out of this? The hope that he might commit to a relationship sometime in the future whilst he's getting his rocks off with you? Listen to what he's saying - he doesn't want a relationship.

Find someone that does.

Thanks so much guys, your all a really good help. I think that's a good idea not to take it. I thought about it, and then I was talking to his mum about it and I said to her "I don't want sex, I just wanna prove to him im not just any girl" and she told me to tell him that, that I won't have sex with him until I know how he feels, and if he feels it seriously. He's told me lately that his feelings are getting stronger, and that he feels like soon enough we'll be together because he can't help how he feels, so I'm quiet surprised, and wondering how it's all going to turn out . Thanks for your time guys I really really do appreciate it, you have all inspired me heaps here (: xx if anyone wants to chat, feel free to add me.

I am so glad you talked to your mom as well, all the best of luck !

Ms tickle

We'll lately he told me that he loves me back, and he seriously means it, and that if he loved me anymore his heart would explode, and I love him so much. I can't hide it anymore. But I'm confused. Only for the fact that, everyone is telling me to ask him out this Friday because he said he wants to spend the weekend with me, he doesn't care what we do or where we go, aslong as he's with me, he's happy, do you reckon I should ask him out, or just wait till he says he's ready and asks me?

Stay true to yourself and don't give him the pleasure of having friends with beniffits. In the long run it may never lead to anything more and you will end up being hurt. The saying goes if you have the milk why buy the whole cow.

A little advice from my experience, I dated a guy for 5 years I loved him and all I wanted was for him to know I'm the one and he wanted to marry me. In those 5 years I did everything he wanted, lived where he wanted, hung out with his friends and neglected mine.spent more time with his famliy than mine, did his washing, cooked for him I was there for him at his every beck and call. In the end and also because of my stupidity our relationship ended. And only now did I realise he was never going to marry me, I did everything a wife did so why make her my wife legally was how he was thinking.

So back to your situation by having fun sex he will know he can get it when ever he wants and there's no pressure for commitment.

Its your decsion at the end of the day but think carefully before you make that decision.

All the best!