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I'm in grief group they told me you could die from a broken heart.I,m so dead inside and I no I won't get no better.he was my whole life now he is gone.and I will never love no one else in my life we promise each other that,and I do keep my promise.so I feel my like is over now
Please read some other threads under teens and relationships.
We have all been through breakups and although they are difficult, there is a light at the end of the road.
You posted this under bereavement, but your boyfriend did not pass away correct?
You don't need to hear this right now but promises that there will never be anyone else, that your life will end with his, are unfair.
I just posted this - my husband was sick for a long time. We knew I was going to be a widow. We just didn't know when. He told me that I would do him no honor if I buried myself with him and he encouraged me to go on. In fact, he DEMANDED that I go on.
It will get better, trust me, but it will take time. A lot of time.
I'm so sorry for your loss - and it's good that you are in a group.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justwantfair
Auto accident - it's in her other thread.
Hi again, spoiled!
I had responded to you on your other thread some time ago. My offer is still good about the activity on this site that you might find to be helpful to you.
Please let me know if you're interested in it by responding on this thread.
Thanks!
In the wise words of Yoda, “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.”Quote:
Originally Posted by spoiled
Just a movie, or true wisdom in the same guise as any other religious telling? As I often say, "wisdom is every where, we need only listen."-Nestorian. Yes, we do need time to "let go" of those who "pass on". That's not to say we should suffer for ever, and stop living our lives.
I do agree you can die of a broken heart, but not the way you may think. It is not romantic, heroic, nor loving in any way shap or form, it is suicide. Of course I understand that suicide is indeed a selfish act as those who "commit" to it, are so wropped up in their suffering that they can not feel the sun shine upon their faces. “It's hard to be sure you ever saw the sun when you've lived in the dark for so long” - S. B. F. I realize you may not have lost him that long ago, but you feel as if it's been a life time.
Well, guess what!! You are right, "i no i wont get no better." Lets say that "I no I" acctually means that you do not know yourself, and yes it is highly probbible that this is true. Then lets say that, "i wont get no better." means that since you don't know yourself, you can not get any better. There for you must get to know yourself to get better.
Look at it this way, there is no duobt tha you "love" him, and you most likely will always love him, but if you can not learn to love yourself, forgive yourself, know yourself, and be yourself totally separate from him, then how could you truly appreciate the love you have for him. Does that make sense? It sounds as though you considered him your soul mate, but "how can you know your soul mate when you don't know yourself?"-Nestorian.
I know this must be hard for you, and I sense that he is still apart of you. So why let that part of him that lives on within you be held back from life. The world is vast and great. The beauty is so over welming at times, like when I look in the clear night sky and I see the stars and the full moon shinning upon me. The light that travels from each of those stars has come from millions of years(time) and light years(distance) just to reach our eyes... It's breath taking. You can ignore it like so many choose to, or you can choose to let yourself, and the part (as I imagine it would be a large one) of him that is still with you see the brilliant romance of the stars reaching out to us from so far way. Even if you don't love another the same as you love/d him, that's not to say you can't still love another. Love, I believe has different levels and thus different characteristices...
True love, can be many things. Every one has their opinion, experiences, interpretation, and perceptions about it.
True, as defined at: true definition | Dictionary.com
1. being in accordance with the actual state or conditions; conforming to reality or fact; not false: a true story.
2. real; genuine; authentic: true gold; true feelings.
3. sincere; not deceitful: a true interest in someone's welfare.
4. firm in allegiance; loyal; faithful; steadfast: a true friend.
Love as defined at: love definition | Dictionary.com
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
Lets say love is a firm genuine, deep affection and loyalty that is built upon a profoundly passionate faithful belief in the binding of two people's lives. Forever they will be attached in one form or another. Personally I would argue that there is also a point to which one may need to learn to let go of a love, simply because only if you truly love some one/ thing will you find the strength to let them go of your own free will. I think that is important, because it lets people know that we don't have to be together just because we "have to", but we stay together because we want to. Also some times, the one's we want to stay with, don't want to stay with us, and so we have to accept that so we can move on. There maybe "soul mates", but it's not clear as to whether we develop, and grow into such, or if it's predetermined for us. Maybe finding our soul mate has more to do with finding ourselves, and in doing so can finally attract our soul mates. Very mysterious is the world that we pretend to know.
Lust= Passion, sex drive and hormones. One night stands, or meaningless flings. (The people that do this seem to show very little self respect, and tend to "...act kinda proud with no respect for themselves." P.O.D.- Youth of the nation)
Love= Passion, sex drive, hormones, enjoy a person's company/ personality, and some respect. (Actually, I think this may be most relationships in our world. In love, but not so willing to see the difference between them self and their lover, and what their relationship really means. There are different types, levels and kinds of Love at this level. Like the women who loves her man so much even when he hits her, or when the man loves his women but she cheats on him. Then there is the couple that is relatively happy together, but don't really grow, or progress because they are too different, or a like, or just don't work well together. )
True Love= The one you will spend your life with, while there is time left to spend. You understand that you may not be together forever, but still live for the moment. You are comfortable with each other, and yourselves. Grow together, and progress in life, due to a healthy balance. When there is a split, it is on good terms, hard, painful still but good. (The "good" split is not to be confused with a careless, reckless, and respect-less split. It is not like the couple who splits and stay's friends and cheats on their new partners with the one they are splitting on good terms with. I might argue that true friends are in true love.)
Soul Mates= True Love + Forever being with your lover as your lover will forever be with you. The one you are dedicated to until death do you part. Perhaps the one you will follow into the after life, what ever it maybe. Know yourself, and you will know your soul mate.
As to whether I believe these... They are possibilities, just like anything, everything, nothing, and something else...
You can still keep your promise, and live a full and healthy life, but be mindful to take care of yourself, or you are just causing him more suffering. Remember what Yoda said, "Attachment leads to jelousy." Don't be jelous, be happy and allow life to grow with you, apart of you, for you are life simply by being...
Be strong young one, and be mindful of the life in everything around you and that is apart of you. May peace and kindness be with you.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you clough,
Lets hop the OP understands, and accepts it. It may be too soon for her to let go, or it may have been too long for her to know that she can let go and still honor her promise.
YouTube - Live - Lightning Crashes
YouTube - All American Rejects "Move Along"
YouTube - Sugarland - Stay: Video
YouTube - Apocalyptica - Fade to Black (Fade to black metallica maybe about losing some one close to you. I think a mother... Or so some one told me once)
YouTube - Three days grace - Pain
YouTube - If Everyone Cared by Nickelback with Lyrics
YouTube - Evanescence - My Immortal
YouTube - Nickelback - Savin me
YouTube - Santana, Everlast - Put Your Lights On (may not fit, I know, but I find it soothing.)
YouTube - Guns N' Roses - Yesterdays
YouTube - Shakira - No (FULL VIDEO HIGH QUALITY)
I listen to these and many many more to calm me and help me sleep when I'm over whelmed with emotions. I pray they serve thee well...
Thank you for posting the links, Nestorian!
Peace be with you, too! :)
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