OK I have recently found out that my 9 yrs olds father that's on the birth certificate didn't father her . I want to know how I go about changing her last name to her biological fathers last name . And how do I go about telling the man I thought was her father for 9 years the news that he is not . We have a court order of joint custody which was in nj but I currently reside in fl now . Which in the court oreder it does state any future proceedins fl will be responsible also, am I responsible legally to reimburse him child:confused:support he has paid me for my daughter ? :confused:

Just because he did not father the child does not mean he is not the legal father. If he is paying court ordered support/has ordered custody, paternity is legally established and its very possible that you might not be able to change the legal status or the child's name.

I would consult with a lawyer about this - it could get very messy.

We never determined paternity in court . I never had a doubt that he was my daughters biological father but this other man contacted me and I saw the resmblence with him and my daughter its made me think twice I went forward with a paternity test and it comes to find out he is my daughters father I'm distrought over this whole situation . I just want to modify and let everyone know the truth here . Make my wrong a right now . Her biological dad wants to be involved . So I want to let the other man know everyhting that is happening . Since he is not her bilological dad let her bio have the rights to my daughter and not him anymore .

If there was a court order regarding the child, paternity is presumed. It might have been legally established when he signed the birth certificate. It varies from state to state. But as of right now he appears to be the legal father.

I suppose the smart question is does the non-bio dad WANT his rights? Does he use them?

Please do not confuse biology, legal and love. My stepson is not my biological child nor is he legally my son (yet) but I promise, if anyone tried to take him away, I would bankrupt myself with legal fees before letting it happen.

So if non-bio dad does not want rights, bio dad will have to go to court to establish paternity.

Also keep in mind, at 9 years old, it might be too late to file for a change in paternity. I cannot find the specific statue at the moment but I will keep looking.

Were you married when the child was born?

No I have never been married . This all a bad dream for me . He excersizes visitation once a year because he resides in nj and I reside in Florida so my daughter has to fly to see him which she hates by the way . Why wouldn't he give up rights if he finds out that's not his bio -daughter. Hmm.. when I lived in nj he never was active with her a lot not to school or extra cirricular activities nothing . So your saying he can still have custody over her even if he is not the bio dad ? What if bio dad comes in the piture and takes rights away from him ? What a mess...

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Originally Posted by confusedmother5

what a mess ....

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Exactly, it's a mess. Which is why you need to consult an attorney. We have no idea what emotional attachment the guy on the birth certificate has to her. Maybe he would be happy to have things change. But again, it may be too late legally. So go see an attorney.

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Originally Posted by confusedmother5

no i have never been married . this all a bad dream for me . he excersizes visitation once a year because he resides in nj and i reside in florida so my daughter has to fly to see him which she hates by the way . why wouldnt he give up rights if he finds out thats not his bio -daughter . ? hmm.. when i lived in nj he never was active with her alot not to school or extra cirricular activities nothing . so your saying he can still have custody over her even if he is not the bio dad ? what if bio dad comes in the piture and takes rights away from him ? what a mess ....

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If you spend years being a parent to a child, biology becomes less and less important. Being a parent isn't about biology, its about loving a child.

I am saying that unless he willingly gives up his rights (disestablisment of paternity) the bio dad may not be able to challenge paternity. This is all going to boil down to what the legal father wants to happen.

There may be a loophole here. But I agree with Scott. You have to evaluate everything before you press on.

Im not sure if your statement is true in how its being said but if NJ released jurisdiction to Florida then it is possible depending on the times that he may not have registered as a father in Florida ( being unwed to the mother ). Florida has a fathers registry.. that may be a legal loophole to walk through.

Many issues as noted, first the real bio dad may not be able to file depending on many things, some states after a certain time will not accept challegnes to paternity.

Next the person who is on the birth certificate could fight it that he acted as and was the legal father and may well win.

Next the real bio father has to be the one to challenge this in court and it will mean he will have to start paying child support, so he may not be too willing to do anything.

It is possible that the person who was paying support, if you take his rights away, may well sue you for fraud since you should have known you had sex with more than one person during a few week period.

Thank you for everyone's advice . Ill have to start putting some money aside to obtain a lawyer .

Actually, I believe the bio father is the one that needs to raise a legal action here. I do not believe you can challenge paternity.