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-   -   Guy trouble (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=351227)

  • May 8, 2009, 04:21 AM
    BeautifulLoser
    guy trouble
    Okay Look Im going out with someone right, and like there is this other guy and like I really like him so much. The guy that I am in currently going out with cheated on me before. He had S.E.X with my best friend in my own house and then we got into a big argument then dumb me goes out with him again. And like the guy I like a lot is so nice, and just amazing, he's my friend and like we kissed a couple of times before I went out with the guy J. Both of their names start with a J and like many people don't like the guy I'm currently dating, everyone wants me to go out with my friend. I don't know what to do my friend liked me since 5 years know and never had a girlfriend. Should I go out with my friend?Should I brake up with my boyfriend?And is so how? Cause my boyfriend is soooo emotional, and he would hurt himself I brake his heart. Help
  • May 8, 2009, 04:43 AM
    Triysle
    You seem to need time to sort your feelings out right now. I think you should break up with this guy that you don't want to date, because it's not fair to him if you lead him without having any feelings for him anymore. Then, spend some time alone for at least a couple months so you can sort out how you really feel about your own life and this nice guy. Then, if you're happy with yourself and your situation, invite the new guy into your life little by little.

    You don't want to immediately jump to this new guy for a couple reasons. First, you're going to put alot of pressure on him to maintain the same lifestyle you are used to from being a relationship already. This will eventually lead to him resenting you. Second, you should never be in a relationship with anyone until you can live alone comfortably. Taking the break in between will give you a chance to clear your head and make that what you want from this guy is real.

    But, you'll probably last a few days before you end up with this new guy. Prove me wrong :P

    ~ Tee
  • May 8, 2009, 05:11 AM
    ajGambino

    What you need to do is rid the both of them. Clearly you're not thinking rationally. In a sense you're almost giving yourself an excuse to leave your current boyfriend to get with this other guy.

    Leaving one relationship to start another will never work out, no matter how much it's 'meant to be'. Get your mind right and dump them both and stay away until you have a clearer picture about what you want in a relationship.

    ... and your comment about your boyfriend hurting himself if you broke up with him tells me that he's very insecure. For the sake of both, you guys need to separate and start the NC.
  • May 8, 2009, 05:11 AM
    Romefalls19

    Take time apart from guys in general, you're mind and feelings are over the place. Take a step back and get a new perspective on everything.
  • May 8, 2009, 06:11 AM
    I wish

    You are in a state of confusion. You shouldn't have any boyfriend right now. You should be single and sorting out your emotions.

    First off, dump your boyfriend, since he's a cheater. That's not what you want. You deserve better. Then start your recovery process from the breakup. Once you have healed from the break up, then you can consider talking to the new guy to see if there is a potential relationship.

    Do go jumping from one to the next, cause then the new guy will just be a rebound. And he won't feel any security, because who knows when you will dump him and jump to a third guy. That's not fair to him.
  • May 8, 2009, 06:24 AM
    jmw0713

    Time to be on your own for a bit and find what you really want in life and in a partner.

    It's not good to move from one relationship right in to another. You need to give yourself time to reflect on the past relationships to see what went wrong, why it was bad, what you learned, and how to prevent the same things from happening the next time.

    Take this time away from relationships to grow and become a better person.

    Plus like I wish said, this could end up being a rebound and you will end up possibly losing this friend.

    A lot of time people will bounce from one relationship to the next, in search of something they want in a partner. The problem is people that do this often never know what they want because they don't give themselves enough time in between to think about what it is that makes them happy with themselves and with their partners.
  • May 8, 2009, 06:36 AM
    talaniman

    If you can figure out what you want, then you should be single until you do.

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