Hey again all!

This place is addictive :D

Anyway I was wondering...
I am a pretty attractive guy with lots off friends and I am very social.
Although I have a problem...

I am the guy that ALL girls love to talk to and hang out with.
That is of cource really great... BUT
Fact is all almost every girl I meet just want to be friends...
That's all they want to do... talk talk talk
And that's great but it is getting frustrating...

Just getting shot down... time after time
I mean right now I just want to play the field for a while... I mean I'm in college...


So I was wondering how do I get all these girls to want more...
Should I talk diffrently or be more funny or what!
I know this is very different for all girls but there have to some general guidelines for a guy that wants more then just a deep conversations...

For example... what are good subjects when you talk to a girl..


Thanks



Wonder

That is a great question from Wonder and I have the same problem. I'd like to add to Wonder's question, and ask if anybody has any advice on how can you be out going but also hold back? Secondly a lot of people, women mostly come to me for advice. I'm now starting to learn this has been a mistake my whole life because I'm constantly put into the friend category but if a girl asks for advice how should I approach answering her questions?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...uys-34866.html

There is a start in what women lok for in guys. It is true.

Are you being to friendly with them? Becoming like there girlfriend. They dotn want that. They want a man.

You need to exude confidence. Keep a bit og mystery about yourself. You need to play a little hard to get.

I just get the feeling you are being too much like a girlfriend to them. Being there friend is a good start but you still need to have some good manly trait for them to become attracted to you more than just a friend.

Try the above link first. Let us know if that helps a little!

* edited to add * hang on... You posted additional stuff on this thread in regards to what you need to do. Read your own post. Pretty simple. What else do you want to know? I'm a little confused?

http://www.askmen.com/

This is another good site.

Read all the article here. Wildcat put me onto this and I enjoy reading all the Doc Love and other articles!

There is a lot to learn here!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wonder1984

Hey again all!

This place is addictive :D

Anyway I was wondering...
I am a pretty attractive guy with lots off friends and I am very social.
Although I have a problem...

I am the guy that ALL girls love to talk to and hang out with.
That is of cource really great.....BUT
Fact is all almost every girl I meet just want to be friends....
Thats all they want to do...talk talk talk
And thats great but it is getting frustrating...

Just getting shot down...time after time
I mean right now I just wanna play the field for a while...I mean im in college...


So I was wondering how do I get all these girls to want more....
Should I talk diffrently or be more funny or what!?
I know this is very diffrent for all girls but there have to some general guidelines for a guy that wants more then just a deep conversations...

For example...what are good subjects when u talk to a girl...?


Thanx



Wonder

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So my friend... do you have any great passion in life ?

First.. thanx for you posts and links!
:) really great!

Second... for Skell

For example...
Just yesterday I went to see a gril that I know a little...
Recently me and here talked over MSn about sex and how we just wanted someone to have sex with... so we started joking that we should have it with each other... it got serious and we both said that it might be a bad idea but that we both wanted it...


So I was there yesterday and we wer fooling around a little...
It started with massaging each other and then more massage but under a blanket in her bed...
And we got closer and closer until we were hugging eachoutehr and touching each other allover but not in any "speciall" places...
So finnaly (as I know many women hate guys hwo wait for the girl to take the next ste) finally I kiss her on her neck...
And she sais to me... no... no more...
An I thought to myself what's wrong... what did I do?
Isn't this like the perfect foreplay (cause it really was) what makes her not want more...



In this example... what is worng? :P
Are there any good moves.. :P


But generally I just want to know how you make women more attracted to you through conversation and the way you treat her...


Tahnx again for all advice


Wonder

First of all, don't come off as too sensitive or like you're always wearing your heart out on your sleeve. Secondly, don't be too available to them all the time. Bide your time and don't be constantly calling, e-mailing or texting them constantly. Make them chase you ; that's the way to raise their interest level. Don't always hang out with the same people ; mix your circle of friends and acquaintances. I think you're sabotaging yourself by being there for them all the time and always being their shoulder to cry on. In short, You act like their friend, therefore you are their friend. You've got to get yourself out of that friend mode. Be more aloof and mysterious.

I really hate generalizing when it comes to dating. The women I have dated have had some things in common (usually assertive, confident, steady when it comes to their goals)... but in no way would I say one had the same likes as another necessarily. So all I can really talk about are the women I've dated, some successfully, some crashed quickly.

Of the ones that either never really went anywhere or ended soon after dating, id say I was usually too much of an ear to lean on and didn't drive the relationship enough. One I know damn near dumped me out of boredom. Not that I'm necessarily boring, but she hated being the one that ran the show... and when I met her I completetly misread her. Shed come out of a great relationship that absolutely crashed and burned... as is she finds out 6 mo after the breakup that the love of her life is now married.

I thought she needed an ear and a shoulder. Well, she did a little. But come to find out, long after wed stopped dating, that she really wanted distraction from all the noise. She wanted to be excited again and not think about this guy. She wanted new stuff, new experiences. Maybe she wouldn't have been ready for a long term relationship with me... maybe id have just been a rebound... but I know wed have had a lot more fun if I had driven the relationship.

Problem was, I has also just gotten out of a crash and burn that I HAD driven the show most of the time, and I was pretty tired of it and wanted to be lazy. I was willing to listen to sob stories. That's all I got.

So you don't have to be a jerk to have a relationship. But you do have to be something different. If all you are is another person who listens and agrees... well that's not going to tow the line for long.

Fine to be a friend. If you want to be more than that, you need to be confident, willing to bomb and not get down on yourself, and take some risks. I've said it before here, I have hardly ever spent a lot of time dwelling on the failures I had when I took a chance and it didn't work out. But the failures I never had... because I was too reserved or cautious to take a chance... man those bug the crap out of me sometimes.

So pick yourself up, keep trying, and try not to be a best friend all the time. And also know, sometimes timing just sucks. I went for almost 2 years one time without dating when I was ready and willing... just didn't click with some of the people I was around. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

My 2 cents from my experiences.

Good advice from expereince kp. Had to spread the love though!

So Wonder you have sort of set up a friends with benefits thing with this girl? Is that correct?

Well I wouldn't even think about a relationship with her. And if you do I wouldn't be bedding her straight away.

SO basically you want to know how to pick up, have a good time and then move on with no strings attached? Your not looking for anything more right now are you really?

I can't really advise you too much here because I am not much of the one night stand guy. Never really had them

But I imagine you just have to be confident and up front. I would make sure you are clear from the start exactly what you are after. You must be careful that the other person isn't expecting more than you are.

Take a look at my photo, a real male sex symbol if you ever saw one , right??

Ok, maybe not, but I found something interesting about 10 years ago.
After I lost my wife and I was ready to start dating, guess what, it was easy, I found your personality is 1/2 the battle, or maby 2/3 of the battle.

And the other thing the few that were not interested because of the looks, normally they had such little personality of their own, that it did not matter.

So looks is an image, and mostly made up of how you think of yourself.
If you notice how short my hair is, my new wife ( 7 years now) would rather me grow it long, but I love it short from the old military days and to me, I look the best with it that way, and when I look in the mirror I see the me I want to be,

So happiness with yourself and thinking you are great looking in many ways makes you that way.

I haven't dated other women in more than 30 years but somewhere in my dim memory I can remember not only being selective but was always busy doing other things besides chasing women. Go slow and give them Quality time not Quantity.

A woman's entire baody is an erogenous zone. Even behind the knees - their skin is about 1000% times more sentive than guys skin.

You've been given some great advice here. Also check out www.sosuave.com - I think it's geared towards someone your age - GREAT advice their on you evicting the "Friend-nice guy" from your being.

You can STILL be the great guy everyone wants to talk to... just some subtle changes will do wonders.

s_cianci - I STILL can't rate you - but great advice!!

You need to learn about women... they are much more different than you think. You probably are treating them more like your buddies and a guy - hence the Friend Zone.

You need to learn to tease woman some - make THEM LAUGH!! I asaid MAKE THEM LAUGH always and forever!!

I think at the same time as being a great guy to talk to wear a tshirt that says "Im available" or something, confidence. :p

Or if you have the gift of the gab, use it to talk about you a bit more, and talk her in to your bed, (which I think is what your question was pointing too.) All in all, I think you will eventually get someone who actually liked your talking more than your face or (non existant) sixpack. Which is what its al about!

In the mean time, keep on buying those drinks!

(it sure as hell costs a lot to not be as good looking as everyone else, I know. :D)

Sorry - buying a girl a drink never works - have them buy you a drink. Be different.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Sorry - buying a girl a drink never works - have them buy you a drink. Be different.

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Since I have been on this site I have come to know that you know what you speak of and you rock, you always have excellent advice and comments. This last statement proves it again.

Thank you. Yes -well - I've been through a lot - seen it all. I have a lot wisdom (not to brag) - and ups and owns in relationships.

That statement just says be different in general. Don't be always predictable. Don't do what the other 1000 guys who have tried to hit on her do.

Always make them laugh - I can't strees that enough - never any tough questions.

So I have a new question...

The girl I was talking about before... well I can't get her of my mind... :)
You know the one from MSN

Well now that I have established this "friend" realshionship with here after some loong talks about sex and everything... She has said she is attracted to me but that she isn't sure but she thinks she just wants to be friends...

My question is what can I do to get here on my side? :P
Now that she says she wants to be friends... what is the best move to make here want more than that?

Should I say to here that I have cleard my mind now and that I don't want her?
Should I tell her I still want her?

What to do?


Wonder

Well, I'd pull back and leave her alone for a while - disappear. Be a lot LESS available. Be busy.

I assume you don't just want to be friends? Give her some doubt.

I have to believe 1000% you were WAY too available to her. There for her too much. Talke with her too much. That lands you into the friend zone.

Key thanks so much wildcat
If you were her id give u a BIG hug and some roses ;)
You truly are amazing


Wonder

Hahahahaha
Im sure the Cat would love a hug and some roses from a fellow male. No wonder you can't attract the women wonder, you are getting them confused with MEN.

Hahaha Only joking. Honest mistake and it wouldn't be the first time!