I know you have all herd the saying " I didnt cheat cause we wernt together ". How true does that hold when that person really wanted to be with you, but you could not be there physically. So in essence all they did was replace you for the moment. But when your back in the picture they want nothing to do with the other people cause they want you back. I still feel like that it is cheating and don't know if I'm wrong about that. But at the same time you know that they almost knew they would still have a chance. I feel so foolish that I did just that ( giving her a chance ) and know things are getting harder for me . Really they have always been hard for me to cope with , I've never been one to forgive someone who does me wrong, but here I'am doing just that. She says that she loves me and will never do it again but at the same time I really don't believe her. I also rarly make love to her because I feel as though we don't share that affection like we use to, that she has been tampered with. Nor do I kiss her, a lot of things have changed. Still I persist on trying to make it work even though it hurts like hell. I want to believe that it was a mistake on her part ( me being a fool ) and that she will never do it again. At the same time I don't want her to be hurt, even though I would like her to share some of the missery she enveloped me in when I was gone for a spell. I really don't know what to do or what I'm doing on this chat but I feel as though my thinking could be a little scattered and I'm not seeing things to clearly.

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Originally Posted by alfamale

I know you have all herd the saying " I didnt cheat cause we wernt together ". How true does that hold when that person really wanted to be with you, but you could not be there physicaly. So in essence all they did was replace you for the moment. But when your back in the picture they want nothing to do with the other people cause they want you back. I still feel like that it is cheating and dont know if I'm wrong about that. But at the same time you know that they almost knew they would still have a chance. I feel so foolish that I did just that ( giving her a chance ) and know things are getting harder for me . Really they have always been hard for me to cope with , I've never been one to forgive someone who does me wrong, but here I'am doing just that. She says that she loves me and will never do it again but at the same time I really dont believe her. I also rarly make love to her because I feel as though we dont share that affection like we use to, that she has been tampered with. Nor do I kiss her, alot of things have changed. Still I persist on trying to make it work even though it hurts like hell. I want to believe that it was a mistake on her part ( me being a fool ) and that she will never do it again. At the same time I dont want her to be hurt, even though I would like her to share some of the missery she enveloped me in when I was gone for a spell. I really dont know what to do or what I'm doing on this chat but I feel as though my thinking could be a little scattered and I'm not seeing things to clearly.

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Couple things.

First of all, cheating is going outside the understood limits of the relationship. If you are in an open relationship where sleeping with others is ok, then it's not cheating. If you expected her to stay faithful, and made sure she understood that you felt that way, then yes she was cheating.

Right now you need to stop worrying about her emotions and focus on your own. You were hurt by this, and you're worried that she might be hurt without you? Of course she wants you - you're letting her have everything she wants no matter how much it hurts you.

Compromises are fine, actually they are good in a healthy relationship. But physical intimacy is such a sensitive issue that there needs to be clear cut rules. If you were together, regardless of the distance she should not have done anything with anyone. Period.

Break up with her and move on. You can do better.

~ Tee

Cheating is cheating.

You were in a committed relationship, mutually exclusive. Just because you were not within kissing distance doesn't mean that it was OK to sleep with someone else to "substitute" for you.

Unfortunately, that is just an excuse to say that she couldn't wait for you to return.

Thousands of committed married and dating couples are in long distance relationships right now with a husband, boyfriend, wife, or girlfriend overseas, on assignment with the military. Just because their partner is overseas, doesn't mean that they can "substitute" a fill in to satisfy desires.

That's cheating.

Personally, I wouldn't take that. You're worth exclusiveness. You need to believe that you're worth waiting for. She was wrong to do that. Yes, she cheated on you.

You have every right to be upset and confused.

What she did was cheating.

I'm sorry, but you deserve better. You deserve someone who will wait for you, be faithful to you, and be 100% yours.

Cheating is when someone has a emotional or physical affair.

Listen even your going accepted that your girlfriend cheated on you while you was in jail or move on. Case closed!

Playing all of these games by trying to make her feel miserable and guilty is only going backfire on you so why play these games.

Time to act like an adult instead of a child.

There is emotional cheating and physical cheating. Either one is still cheating.

Everyone has a different threshold of what constitutes cheating. So you don't need to specifically define the word cheating. If your significant other is hurting by his or her actions or thoughts towards a third person, then it's cheating.

Cheating is anything that goes beyond the understood limits of the relationship in which you and another are currently in.

For me, cheating is any emotional or physical intimacy that my fiancé engages in with another man. Some people even go to the extreme that a simple conversation is cheating. I don't go to that extreme but if a guy told my fiancé that he was into her, and she continued to indulge him, i.e take breaks together, call or text each other, that's crossing a line.

My fiancé and I also have a rule that we don't give out our phone numbers to members of the opposite sex unless it's a mutual friend. We don't hide anything from each other and have a clear path for communication