hi,m 25 yr old girl.by nature m very reserved.3 yrs back I have joined a job n a reputed company & this z a turning point of my life. Here I met a person 6 yr elder than me.. his life is full of problems & pains bt he is very positive towards life.. he is very caring & understanding.. I start feeling for him but never let him know.. but one day he suddenly ask me that do I feel for him.. at that time I start crying bcoz no one ask me this kind of ques n my life.next day I went 2 ofc where he make me confess that I really love him.after that he showed more care & love for me. I know my family culture that's why I leave my job to avoid this.but I want to be his friend bcoz he is best person I ever met n my life.one day he called me up at his place.. everything z going fine v share lots of good feelings bt jb jane ka time aaya to I feel very down.. to control my feeling he hugs & kiss me first time.. 4 d moment I don't understand what had happened.. he told me on my confession day that our relationshio z not possible in any case.. he make me confess only bcoz he thought ki agar meri feelings bahar nahi aayi to mujhe life main aage hurt hoga bt to be honest its hurting me more now.. he used to kiss me 3-4 times & v r so closed that I can't express n words.. I can't live without him.. unki 6 may 2009 ko engagement ho gayi hai... I know he will never come back.. mujhe unki khushi chayiye bt wo khud aaye the hamare pass agar wo na bulwate to main kabhi confess nahi karti apni feelings.. kyun wo itna karib aa kar chale gaye.. meri kya galti hai??

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rani21

ki agar meri feelings bahar nahi aayi to mujhe life main aage hurt hoga .......unki 6 may 2009 ko engagement ho gayi hai....i know he will never come back..mujhe unki khushi chayiye bt wo khud aaye the hamare pass agar wo na bulwate to main kabhi confess nahi karti apni feelings..kyun wo itna karib aa kar chale gaye..meri kya galti hai???

---

I do not understand what are you trying to ask but if a person likes you enough, he can understand trifling things and can adjust to major ones.

As I said he likes me, but told me very first day, that our relationship, will not be acceptable to my family. Even I can understand this, but then he comes close to me, and give boost to my innocent feelings, to such an extent that I can't live without him. Help, its hurts sometime and I'm thinking of committing suicide.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rani21

.....acceptable to my family..even i can understand this but dan he comes close 2 me & give boost 2 my innocent feelings to such an extent that i can't leave without him.. help its hurts sometime m thiking of commit a suicide.

---

What's wrong? What culture? He's married or you have different religions?

Anyway, you have to know what's more important to you so you won't get this confusions. If you value more your culture, then you shouldn't speak with him anymore. If you allow yourself get carried away, expect the worse and be strong enough.

About suicide: Oftentimes the test of courage is not how to die but how to live... how to face it.

Suicide doesn't solve any. It will just leave a horror image of your last days on earth.

for me he z important & even m ready to face anything for him but I don't understand why m not able to convince him.he used to call me beta than why he did not keep distance... only bcoz of him I left my job so that I control but its not so easy.. he engage with another girl.. who z also not from same religion dan what iz d problem with me

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rani21

for me he z important & even m ready to face anything 4 him but i dont understand why m not able to convince him.he used to call me beta than why he didnot keep distance...only bcoz of him i left my job so that i control but its not so easy..he engage with another girl..who z also not from same religion dan what iz d problem with me

---

He likes the attention from you but doesn't like you enough. Don't talk to him anymore.

Breaking up is not easy but in your situation, it's a must. Good news, feeling is not forever specially if you'll help yourself.

By the way, I know English is not your first language (me too, its my 3rd ) and sometimes it's hard to express yourself but please spell the words correctly so it's easier to understand what are you trying to say. Writing space is very much available, no need to abbreviate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ylaira

He likes the attention from you but doesn't like you enough. Don't talk to him anymore.

Breaking up is not easy but in your situation, it's a must. Good news, feeling is not forever specially if you'll help yourself.

By the way, I know English is not your first language (me too, its my 3rd ) and sometimes it's hard to express yourself but please spell the words correctly so it's easier to understand what are you trying to say. Writing space is very much available, no need to abbreviate.

---

Sorry for not understanding my words clearly.. he is very honest person and I trust him.. whatever he has done to me I know that there was not any wrong intention behind that.. may be this is the only reason that I am not able to forget him.the only thing which is hurting me that whatever happened on his place.. if that was not love than also its hurting me if its love than why he did not accept me.?

You need to seek counseling quick because no guy is worth taking your life.

He moved on he now engaged but it time for you to move on and let go.

Never make a guy your world and know if a relationship doesn't work never give up hope because there are other fish in the sea.

Also, please don't type in chat talk especially when your seeking advise. Your original post was unreadable and I only understand bits and pieces. So maybe you can rewrite it for everyone to understand because we all don't know chat talk.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by liz28

You need to seek counseling quick because no guy is worth taking your life.

He moved on he now engaged but it time for you to move on and let go.

Never make a guy your world and know if a relationship doesn't work never give up hope because their are other fish in the sea.

Also, please don't type in chat talk especially when your seeking advise. Your orginal post was unreadable and I only understand bits and pieces. So maybe you can rewrite it for everyone to understand because we all don't know chat talk.

---

Sorry dear my english is not too good... I was very strong girl but this relationship make me so weak that my health is sinking day by day... so I have decided to talk on internet... I love him very much... but for last 4 months he become very rude.. he has stop reply my messages... I know I have to move on but I don't want to end my relationship this way?

You have no control over the ending of your relationship because the relationship has ended. I don't think your ready to face it nor accept it but those are the facts.

Counseling is a good idea and good for your overall health. You might have depression but only a counselor can diagnose you so please see one quick. You need to get out of this funk and move forward.

Guys come and goes and relationships aren't guarantee to last. This guy wasn't a best choice for you and you wanted it work but he didn't.

Your right your English is not good, nor are you answering questions, like how old are you?
What's wrong? What culture? He's married or you have different religions?

Help us understand with some backgroung information.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rani21

sorry dear my english is not too good...i was very strong girl but this relationship make me so weak that my health is sinking day by day...so i have decided to talk on internet...i love him very much...but for last 4 months he become very rude..he has stop reply my msgs...i know i have to move on but i dont want to end my relationship this way??

---

He stopped responding to your messages and becoming rude because he wants to end everything. What he does is better so at least it's very clear that he doesn't want you anymore, no confusion like he say's he's in but acting distant. All break ups sucks. Whether he talks sweet and treat you like this it will still hurts the same.

It was a very mean thing that he did to you. He led you on, all the while being engaged to someone else.

Never think that ending your life is an answer to anything!

Right now I have the flu. I feel like dying might not be a bad idea because I feel miserable. But, you know what? I'm going to recover and I'll be so glad I didn't end my life over the flu.

This may be the first man that ever made you feel in love. But he won't be the last. Learn from this experience so as not to let yourself get too involved with a man before you know a lot more about him. Like if he has a girlfriend, wife, etc.

Please keep talking to people for support. We've all been there.

Sometimes life deals us a 'curved ball'.

We place all our hopes and expectations on a person and then not only do they not do what we want, but they end things without providing us with closure.

That's what living and growing up is all about.

I understand that YOU may not want to end the relationship this way, but HE does. You don't have a choice - you can cry, plead, send messages - but it won't make any difference if he has decided that it's the end.

So, deal with it. Take a deep breath, dry your eyes and start to see him for the person that he is.

He deceived you. He used you. He lied to you.

Move on and learn from this experience. You will choose better next time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by liz28

You have no control over the ending of your relationship because the relationship has ended. I don't think your ready to face it nor accept it but those are the facts.

Counseling is a good idea and good for your overall health. You might have depression but only a counselor can diagnose you so please see one quick. You need to get out of this funk and move forward.

Guys come and goes and relationships aren't gurantee to last. This guy wasn't a best choice for you and you wanted it work but he didn't.

---

I think over it for the whole night and leave everything on god if my feelings are true then he will definitely realise one day that my feelings were pure.one thing I would like to share with you.. in our relationship the best gift he has given to me is when he introduce me to his late mother(in front of her snap he just said "mummy ye rani hai".. he is very innocent & sweet person.. its my destiny that I am not the part of his life..

We have the same situation.. were different religion culture but he showed love that I thought real lo0vebut after what hed did choosing somebody to marry it's a call for me he just need me for sometime maybe for him I'm not the girl to settle w/ him... it hurt a lot to me I know it's a betrayal worst than rejection I used to think of him every time imagining what he and newly bride wife do every minute, it hurts its killing me but I have to move on... it might be hard but no one will help me or help you to overcome this just ourselves.. believe in God and think there is someone better than him.. better and really deserve to have you forver they will be there so lets try to open our heart and chance to that person who realyy deserve us.. OK

But you also know dear its very hard to move on... these days I am full of guilt that I have given everything to him without any expectation.. my state of mind is not stable that to think for another guy.. why people are so selfish.. how could they play with others feelings.. are'nt they afraid of god... pray for me.. its really very very painful... I always think that how he could do this to me..?

Hi

When we are in a situation in which at one moment of time we love the person very much and another moment of time we start hating him.what is this situation.

Hi Rani,

When you love a person you start expecting more from that person. Like you frame a mindset that the other person should be the way you like or expect. When the other person does not respond to it you get angry, out of which you start developing hatred.
So do not expect.

Regards,

Sometimes it can be the feeling of resentment in a relationship. basically if you are giving more then you are recieving and not communicating your needs in the relationship then resentments build which can feel like hatred toward the other. If this is the case then instead of holding onto these feelings of resentments you need to address them in a soft, calm manner.