I am dating a married man his wife found out about us and put him out now he lives home with his parents. I called off the relationship and now I found myself back in this web I cannot get out of. His wife still knows we see each other. He said that his wife has to accept me because he is not leaving me. One minute I love him and then the next minute I hate him. I feel really bad for what I am doing to his wife because she asked me to leave her husband alone. I explained to my lover I feel guilty about what I am doing but he says we love each other and that's all that matters. I am confused and need help.

What part are you confused about?

He made a commitment to someone else, not you. You don't have the right to keep seeing this man, he's married!

For goodness sake, his wife even asked you to stay away and you still won't.

Of course he loves you. He loves having sex with you, not having to provide for you, not having to live with you, not having to commit to you. What's not to love?

Do they have kids?

If he truly loved you, or had any respect for his wife, he would have gotten a divorce before beginning an affair with you. The only person he loves is himself.

He made a commitment to his wife and then cheated on her with you. What makes you think that he wouldn't do the same to you?

You put your ownself in this web and you can get out if you want but you have to want to.

What are the benefits from dating a married man? None! Only thing you would get is drama.

So time for a change. And that change would be you leaving him alone for good. Do yourself that favor because you deserve better.

Wise up and use all the willpower you have for you to move on and never ever put yourself in this situation again.

In life you have choices and you can control your actions and you should know that messing around with a married man is never right. Among anything else it is morally wrongs and, if anything, you should have morals.

Btw, read the threads from other females that decided to get involved with a married man at the bottom of the page.

So why is he not living with you instead of his parents ?

Why has he not filed for divorce.

Then he can marry you and find a girlfriend to cheat on you with.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

What part are you confused about?

He made a commitment to someone else, not you. You don't have the right to keep seeing this man, he's married!

For goodness sake, his wife even asked you to stay away and you still won't.

Of course he loves you. He loves having sex with you, not having to provide for you, not having to live with you, not having to commit to you. What's not to love?

Do they have kids?

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Yes he has kids. Kids he says he love darely.

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Originally Posted by pices

Yes he has kids. Kids he says he love darely.

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So you're not only stealing someone's husband, but you're breaking up a family.

He loves his kids so much that he cheats on his wife and refuses to give up his lover. Oh you, he's a prince (sarcasm).

I won't sugar coat this, because there is no way to sugar coat it. You're a homewrecker.

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Originally Posted by liz28

You put your ownself in this web and you can get out if you want but you have to want to.

What are the benefits from dating a married man? None! Only thing you would get is drama.

So time for a change. And that change would be you leaving him alone for good. Do yourself that favor because you deserve better.

Wise up and use all the willpower you have for you to move on and never ever put yourself in this situation again.

In life you have choices and you can control your actions and you should know that messing around with a married man is never right. Among anything else it is morally wrongs and, if anything, you should have morals.

Btw, read the threads from other females that decided to get involved with a married man at the bottom of the page.

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You are right and I agree but I am really trying to avoid him but he keeps calling me and the pain I am feeling seems unbearable so when I can't face the pain I talk to him for comfort.

Speaking as someone who has contributed to breaking up a family before (it was already going downhill but they were still married at the time, so I was completely in the wrong), no matter what this person says to you, their actions show more than their words. He doesn't love you, because he doesn't love himself. He wants what he can get, when he can get it, which shows signs of a deep insecurity issue. Nevermind the fact that he's got a ton of baggage in his life; you are allowing yourself to be part of this entire mess! Do you really think you can have a long, happy relationship with him?

What happens when you get married and have kids with him, and he meets another girl and "falls in love" with her again? I suppose you could meet up with the previous ex and be super best friends, but do you really want to go through all that?

Or, are you just living in the moment, being totally selfish, and not giving a damn at all about anyone else's problems here?

I sympathize with you, I really do; the fact remains that no matter what you say, no matter how you feel right now, you are wrong. Get out of this situation now before you wind up in the same position as his ex-wife.

~ Tee

Just because he calls you doesn't mean you have to answer so change your number. That's simple to do!

As long as you let him in, you're accepting what's going on.

Stop all contact, it's your choice, not his.

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Originally Posted by Triysle

Speaking as someone who has contributed to breaking up a family before (it was already going downhill but they were still married at the time, so I was completely in the wrong), no matter what this person says to you, their actions show more than their words. He doesn't love you, because he doesn't love himself. He wants what he can get, when he can get it, which shows signs of a deep insecurity issue. Nevermind the fact that he's got a ton of baggage in his life; you are allowing yourself to be part of this entire mess! Do you really think you can have a long, happy relationship with him?

What happens when you get married and have kids with him, and he meets another girl and "falls in love" with her again? I suppose you could meet up with the previous ex and be super best friends, but do you really want to go through all that?

Or, are you just living in the moment, being totally selfish, and not giving a damn at all about anyone else's problems here?

I sympathize with you, I really do; the fact remains that no matter what you say, no matter how you feel right now, you are wrong. Get out of this situation now before you wind up in the same position as his ex-wife.

~ Tee

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You are right I know what I have to do. Thanks for the advice I really needed this site because the truth is I can't talk to anyone in person because they would never dream I would date a married man especially for five years. My family would disown me. Talking about it made me feel a whole lot better. He just called me and I told him I was busy. I feel the only way to get over this pain is avoid him. Thanks !

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Originally Posted by pices

You are right I know what I have to do. Thanks for the advice I really needed this site because the truth is I can't talk to anyone in person because they would never dream I would date a married man especially for five years. My family would disown me. Talking about it made me feel a whole lot better. He just called me and I told him I was busy. I feel the only way to get over this pain is avoid him. Thanks !

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Wait-- So you've been 'dating' this guy for 5 years? Seriously. And it's taken you 5 years to realize it's wrong?

If he hasn't committed to you in 5 years, married or not, he's not going to. You two don't have a real relationship. You're only 'dating' when you're hiding out somewhere.

As others have pointed out, if he left his wife to be with you, he'd turn around and do the same thing to you eventually.

The fact that he has kids and you're still sneaking around with him is despicable. So adding that into the equation, his children would resent you because they would think it was your fault that their parents are split up.

I don't know what else to say...

::shaking my head::

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Originally Posted by pices

You are right I know what I have to do. Thanks for the advice I really needed this site because the truth is I can't talk to anyone in person because they would never dream I would date a married man especially for five years. My family would disown me. Talking about it made me feel a whole lot better. He just called me and I told him I was busy. I feel the only way to get over this pain is avoid him. Thanks !

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I hope you still feel this way tomorrow and the next day and the next and so on and so on.

It's sad you gave five years of your life to this selfish SOB.

Cheating husbands love women like you.

Work on your self-esteem issues and do better for yourself, and please leave the married men alone.