Hey guys! Could you tell me what you think about my poem. Feel free to criticize. Do you think I'm poetry material? Can I write good enough to get my poems published? Lol Anyway read my poem "Fantasies Never Last" and tell me what you think and go to my quizilla profile and read my poems and tell me what you think about my other ones. Thanks.
Fantasies Never Last
Just thinking of us
Thinking of our past
I actually thought we'd be forever
But fantasies never last
You made me fall in love
You made me fall so fast
But how was I to know
Fantasies never last
You were my first love
You gave me my first kiss
You were all I could think of
Being with you was bliss
You said we'd always be together
You said you'd never leave
But basically what you said altogether
Is something you could never achieve
I was your sunshine
And you were my air
But your ignorance took the oxygen away
Because you were never there
Now when I see you with another
I know she will pass
She is just like the others
You proved to that fantasies never last

Here is the link to my quizilla accont. Please check it out! :D
LalaInLove4Eva's Profile on Quizilla

I was really taken by your poem. The poem expressed deep emotional feelings and allowed the reader to feel what you were feeling.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bubbys123

I was really taken by your poem. The poem expressed deep emotional feelings and allowed the reader to feel what you were feeling.

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Awww. Thank you so much I have never gotten that response from anyone before :)

Like the poem. A few things catch me. The personal tone from a first love of love and lost as well as jealousy and anger of him moving on is not anything unique to men or women. What happens after that is what is unique. I suggest adding to the end in order to provide closure. It seems like the first verse of a song with the beginnings of a chorus. A good song might I add.

It actually felt more like a romantic song material...