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-   -   My minor nephew molested my minor daughter (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=349950)

  • May 5, 2009, 07:01 AM
    xintoledo
    My minor nephew molested my minor daughter
    Approximately 10 years ago, my sister and her children visited for a weekend of swimming. My daughter, then about 6 or 7, went up to her bedroom and was followed by my 14 or so year old nephew. My daughter has recently told us he approached her and touched her either through her suit or around it, then offered her to touch his penis, apparently having it out. This all came to light almost ten years later when my daughter told my wife. We have no proof but my daughter's statements, she cannot give us a date it happened. My nephew a few years later, was sent away when it was proven he, when he was 17, had sex with an eleven year old.
    My wife and I are furious he did this and want to prosecute. My daughter is now almost 15, and my nephew is in his 20's. How do we pursue this?
    I confronted my nephew, and he claims he does not remember anything like this happening, my sister and I are now on non speaking terms because of her denial.
    My daughter has been to consoling sessions which have helped her deal with this.
  • May 5, 2009, 08:00 AM
    450donn

    It is probably beyond the statute of limitations. So nothing can be done except to possibly notify the courts that he might be a habitual sex criminal and let them take it from there.
  • May 5, 2009, 08:02 AM
    Jake2008
    The person who is counselling your daughter has a legal obligation to report the abuse, has she done that?

    You should contact the police and also file a report with as many details as you can remember.

    I would then seek legal advice on how to proceed, immediately.

    This has haunted your daughter for a long time, and that you are doing the right thing, no matter how much time has passed.
  • May 5, 2009, 08:40 AM
    ScottGem

    Jake is right, the therapists has a duty to report it. But I would seriously doubt if anything will be done. The SOL may indeed have past.

    And since your nephew was convicted of statutory rape, he is probably on a sex offender registry that will follow him for the rest of his life. So there is probably not much more you can do to him.
  • May 5, 2009, 08:53 AM
    Jake2008
    If he was convicted of a sexual offence at age 17, would he be on a registry? I always presumed it was adults.
  • May 5, 2009, 09:03 AM
    ScottGem

    I would think having sex with an 11 yr old would go beyond normal statutory rape issues and that he would have been charges as an adult
  • May 5, 2009, 09:20 AM
    Jake2008
    Good.

    No doubt there is a history.
  • May 5, 2009, 10:35 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xintoledo View Post
    My wife and I are furious he did this

    I'm going to say something here that you are probably not going to like. I may even be out of line here. But I think it needs to be said.

    At 6-7 your daughter should have been taught about bad touching. She should have been taught that she should report any attempts at bad touching to her parents. And I think that is a part of your being so furious. I think you are both feeling a bit guilty that you did not protect your daughter.

    I say this because I think you and your wife need to get some counseling as well. I think you need to resolve these feelings that are probably subconscious, because I don't think you will get any satisfaction from the courts. With the time gap and lack of detail, you are unlikely to get him prosecuted for this crime. Without him being punished by the courts, your anger, both at him and yourself, will fester and grow.

    I hope you take this in the spirit it was intended, to help you deal with something no parent should have to deal with.
  • May 5, 2009, 11:55 AM
    Meredith1978

    I am not sure anything can be done with the courts, but I would report it anyhow, if for no other reason but to do everything you can to make sure justice is done. The rest is out of your hands. I don't think it will make it better, but I do believe there is a loophole in the statute of limitations when it comes to minor children. Many states have exceptions of the limitations because often times memories of abuse and molestation are repressed so the events are not remembered sometimes for decades. It doesn't hurt to file the report.

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