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-   -   I like the jerk bad boy, why do I want his attention so badly? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=349786)

  • May 4, 2009, 06:37 PM
    beachgoddess44
    I like the jerk bad boy, why do I want his attention so badly?
    Okay, so I'm in eighth grade, yeah pretty young, and there's this boy that is really cute and he's the first cool guy to flirt with me. He's a troublemaker which is terrible because I'm the opposite! I do really well in school, I have good friends, all of the teachers like me, and I've stayed out of trouble, while he hasn't. He used to always say hi to me and look at me, pay attention to me, or put his arm around me. I love that I think it's so cute! I can never tell if he's joking or if he might like me. He goes out with all of the girls, maybe he's just a flirt, but there are times when I think I actually like HIM, and not the other nice guys that like me. WHAT IS WROONG WITH ME? Why do I go for the jerk? :confused:
  • May 4, 2009, 06:55 PM
    Triysle
    You are seeking someone like that because you don't fully understand or respect yourself, yet. You don't know what you want, and since this guy seems to be strong-willed and confident you are attracted to him. You think that if you were together, you wouldn't have to figure out what you wanted, you could just do whatever it took to please him. Eventually, you would probably end up in a very unhealthy, abusive (physically and emotionally) relationship.

    As far as not liking the nice guys, you are at a stage in your life where you want drama, excitement, and something different than what you are used to. The nice, stable guys don't appeal to you because they are just like you. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to want some excitement in your life, but you need to balance it out.

    Eighth grade was a long time ago for me, but I was the geeky, nice guy who never understood why all the nice girls went for the mean guys. The fact is, you like the idea of being controlled because it means you don't have to figure things out for yourself. It's a sort of escape mechanism that seems to make life easier, but trust me you will wake up one morning and realize that you have no idea who you are, and your entire life was defined by this guy.

    Give him a chance, but let him know that you are confident and strong. If he is still attracted to you after that, then he might be worth getting to know a little better. If he loses interest, than it shows you that he just wanted someone he could control because of his own insecurities.

    ~ Tee
  • May 4, 2009, 07:05 PM
    Survivor07

    You're in Eighth Grade, meaning you're around 14.

    I was just like you. I'm over twice your age now.

    I too, wanted the "bad guy". He seemed so wild and fun and interesting.

    I had fun with those types. I also got in trouble, too. In fact, I married one. Divorced now.

    There's nothing wrong with you at all. The attention feels good. Just be very careful and choosy about what you do now and who you are with.

    Remember to respect yourself at all times. If something feels wrong, then it is.

    Just trust me when I tell you... these guys, not all, but most will NEVER grow up. What you see now is who they are when they're 40, if they're still alive or not in jail. And their women are all wondering, hey, where are those nice guys?

    You sound like you probably have a good reputation, try to keep it that way.
  • May 7, 2009, 11:04 AM
    liz28
    Back to the OP, I learned that you have tough guys and you have guys that try to be tough guys. Then you have guys that try to play the role of a tough guy because they know girls like a bad boy.

    I for one like an exciting guy but I can't stand jerks and know it alls. A guy can be exciting without the bad boy label.

    I think it would be in your best interest to stay away from this guy because you will only be setting yourself up to get hurt.
  • May 7, 2009, 12:29 PM
    Tinkerz
    Edited, for that text/chat stuff, only because the ideas were good.

    You're practically speaking my mind! Im your age 2!
    My advice: if you do go out with him, don't let him influence you into doing things you don't think are right! Don't become the bad girl to get his attention, maybe he's paying you lots because he looks up to you, I don't know. But don't change yourself to make him like you. :)
  • May 9, 2009, 06:08 AM
    talaniman
    Bad boys may be attractive for now, and its exciting when they pay you some attention, but they seldom change, and like the excitement of life, but can never give you what you really want, after you figure out what that is.

    As you can see, all the girls like him, and his attention, so he may never be just yours anyway, despite your feelings for him.
  • Sep 9, 2010, 04:54 PM
    midnightami15
    Im 17 years old and I just got over a bad relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. We basically started in the same situation your in now, and I regret falling for him to this day. He knew how to manipulate me and because I loved him I ignored all the abuse he caused me. It wasn't until he finally snapped at our friends party and he hit me that I realized that I didn't deserve to be treated in such a terrible way. Trust me hon when I say that just because the bad boy persona may seem cool, don't let yourself fall into my footsteps. My advice is to give the boy a try, but don't let him control you. Keep site of who you are and don't let him become your crutch. I hope this helps, but please be careful.
  • Sep 9, 2010, 06:36 PM
    Shadowburn

    Bad boys are usually growing up to be losers.
    And a good girl like you could do better for herself. Keep that in mind.

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