Okay, I know I myself would not enjoy reading a very voluminous post so I am going to try to make this a long story short. Okay, my boyfriend, I'm crazy about him you know? It's incredulous how I have learned to love somebody so much. And I'm not trying to sound like an attitudy teenager (lo.:P) but I am kind of sick of adults telling certain people they don't know what love is. I mean some adults could be right, but there is no possible way on this god for saken earth that they all are. Sure they may know what love is or not, but not in our point of perspective. And no offense still to all the adults out there, but I am also still kind of tired of adults telling us what we do or don't want or do and don't need. I think we are getting old enough to be big boys and girls now. But back to the story, so what I'm about to tell you, I need an honest opinion, not a fact, not a demand, not something that might seem threatening to me, just your opinion. Doesn't mean I'll guarunteeingly take it but it doesn't mean I won't either. My boyfriend, I love him so much and I know we won't be together when I am legal age, (at least not continusously), but I want to spend my life with him. I mean sure we could be on and off by then but there is no doubt or maybe some doubt, or both, that we will be together by the time legal age sneaks up on me. My life with out him is very stygian and I just need an a honest OPINION('s only). So he asked me to run away with him. I want to go because I love him with all my heart, but I'm scared due to the fact of all I would be losing. But still, either way I would be miserable. I'm miserable here because I can't be with him every day and what of it. My parents don't quite like him as my boyfreind. I get to see him every now and then, but if I leave, it is everybody else I would be without. The feelings on both sides are pretty much balanced which is why it gets so confusing. A honest opinion would be very salient and appreciated right now thanks... :)

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My boyfriend, I love him so much and I know we won't be together when I am legal age, (at least not continusously), but I want to spend my life with him.

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The bold part doesn't make sense to me. If you know you won't be together when you're legal then why are you thinking of running away with him?

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My parents don't quite like him as my boyfreind

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Why? What's wrong with him?

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So he asked me to run away with him

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And this is the most important part. If he loves you so much then why would he ask you to give up everything just to be with him? That's not love, that selfishness.

In the end it's your choice, but, as an adult, someone who has been through the teen years and survived, I have to say, this is the worst mistake you will ever make.

The reasons that adults give the advice that they do is because they've already learned lifes hard lessons and don't want you to go through the same things they did.

I remember being young, it wasn't all that long ago, and I remember knowing that I knew everything when in fact, I knew nothing at all. I made mistakes, thankfully I lived to tell about them, you might not be so lucky, there are mistakes you don't walk away from.

One day you'll be an adult, you'll have kids of your own, then you'll understand. Heck, maybe you're mature enough now to understand, but one thing is obvious, you don't know what love really is, otherwise you'd realize that what he's asking you to do is the furthest thing from love.

Good luck. :)

I fully agree with Altenweg

I guess your right about that selfish thing but I didn't mean it like that Im terribly sorry but what I meant was that we might not be together but we probably will whether our relatioship is on and off or not its just I don't quite know I feel mature but in my head Im scared. Can I still love him? You may say I don't and heck maybe you are right but what I feel makes me think that way when it may not... but I just like to live up high in the clouds. So, I say I love him when you're right I just might be just a scintilla bit too young. I don't know. My parents just don't like him I don't know but my friends do and so do I. I wouldn't think somehting is wrong with him? Can I still feel like this towards him if I don't make the choice to run away? Another opinion would be mollifying for me, thanks:)

Just think about it though... Do you think that he will be there in years to come? How would you support yourself by running away? Do you have a job? Does he? Where would you live? Do you know all about his background? Does he know all about you? Has he ever lead you astray? I personnally believe that if he loved you he wouldn't want you to run away

Yeah, and when altenweg mentioned that first it made quite a bit of sense so that's what I do not understand... but his plans were not quite... thorough I guess. He has a best friend... and he is my best friend as of now too... and he is 16 and he has a car to "pick us up in" and his parents are rich and apparently "wouldn't mind" if we stayed there. I wouldn't believe it unless I heard it myself but I'm still confused. He hasn't lead me that way that I believe of but I have come to a bit of realization and I just also realized that I ahd made a comitment this weekend. I can't leave... I made a comitment to my high school dance team... yeah that's right... MY team. So I don't think it would be very smart to go... but can I still feel this way towards him? Would that not be quite right?:/

I believe that you may be in love with him. I dated a guy from age 12 to 21 and everyone said we weren't in love but we were. And I have never experienced love like that since. So if you feel you love him than OK. But don't make any life changes for him, your too young for that - the big life changes should come later. Stay at home with the other people who love you. And if he loves you he will respect this.

Just one more opinion here... I see you back tracking a little... you say you love this guy, and I believe you do... at this point in your life... but two things: 1. Why do you have to run away at all? 2. Turn the tables around and look at this from another angle... if you knew you would be pulling him away from his family and friends and that was hard on him, would you still ask him to runaway with you? I don't think you would.

You are also concerned about your team... that tells me that family, friends, and commitments are important to you... if you runaway... you will have no family, and your only friend would be this guy who is rich and whose parents would let you stay there... oh, by the way, parents who would let runaways stay with them while their family was out desperately looking for them, missing them, worried about them, thinking something bad may have happened to them, are NOT the kind of parents I would like to have...

My sister ran away when she was 15. I lived her death EVERYDAY not knowing if she was still alive, or warm at night, was she sleeping in an alley, did she have food that day, etc... turns out she ended up being held captive by some people in Chicago, thousands of miles from home... with no way to contact us... there are a lot of bad people in this world, ready to take advantage of young people with no family... my sister made it home alive and well... thank God... do you REALLY want to put your family and friends through that kind of torture?. Think twice about this Honey... love is beautiful... not heartbreaking or selfish...

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Originally Posted by crazychick56

I guess your right about that selfish thing but I didnt mean it like that Im terribly sorry but what i meant was that we might not be together but we probably will whether our relatioship is on and off or not its just i dont quite know I feel mature but in my head Im scared. Can I still love him? You may say I dont and heck maybe you are right but what I feel makes me think that way when it may not... but I just like to live up high in the clouds. So, i say I love him when you're right I just might be just a scintilla bit too young. I don't know. My parents just don't like him I dont know but my friends do and so do I. I wouldn't think somehting is wrong with him? Can I still feel like this towards him if I dont make the choice to run away? Another opinion would be mollifying for me, thanks:)

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Yes, you can feel love for someone. I'm not saying that what you are feeling isn't real, I'm sure that it is, but (and here's the part where I go all "adult" on you) you're too young to face the very adult consequences of love.

I remember the first guy I fell in love with, I was 14, he meant everything to me, we dated for 2 months. When we broke up I was heartbroken, I really thought I'd die, that I'd never find anyone else like him. Well, many boyfriends and broken hearts later I did find love, and when I did I realized that all the other times weren't as real as they seemed.

If he loves you as much as he says he does then telling him that you can't run away with him shouldn't have any effect on your relationship. That's one true test of love, saying no to something the other person wants and they stay anyway. If he leaves then you're better off, even though it really won't feel like you are.

Chances are that you two won't end up together, statistics say that it's not likely, and even though I hate relying on statistics, sadly, they're true.

Is there a chance that you two will be together forever? Of course there is, but is it likely? No.

The question is, what will you do if you run away with him? Will you live at his friends house forever? Will you finish school? What if a baby comes along, then what? What if either one of you decides that you two aren't meant to be, then what? There are so many reasons not to run away and only one reason to do it, and that's him.

You sound like you have a really good head on your shoulders. You're articulate, and willing to listen to advice, that's rare today. The fact that you came here for advice speaks volumes about your maturity. Here comes the but, ready? If you were 100% certain about this then you wouldn't have asked for advice. Obviously you realize deep down that this is not a good idea.

When you're young you tend to look only weeks into your future, but this could destroy the rest of your life, so you have to look further, really look, because really there are a lot of cons to this plan and not one pro.

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Originally Posted by crazychick56

Yeah, and when altenweg mentioned that first it made quite a bit of sense so thats what I do not understand... but his plans were not quite... thorough I guess. He has a best friend... and he is my best friend as of now too... and he is 16 and he has a car to "pick us up in" and his parents are rich and apparently "wouldn't mind" if we stayed there. I wouldn't believe it unless I heard it myself but I'm still confused. He hasn't lead me that way that I believe of but I have come to a bit of realization and I just also realized that I ahd made a comitment this weekend. I can't leave... I made a comitment to my high school dance team... yeah thats right... MY team. So I don't think it would be very smart to go... but can I still feel this way towards him? Would that not be quite right?:/

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Be mindful of the illutions that you keep. We all do, so don't take it personal. What is personal is, The "MY team"?

What do you feel for yourself first?

For get what is right or wrong and focus on what the possibilities are, and decide according to your valuse, morals, and goals are. We can not choose for you, that is your life and up for you to take responsibility for.

May peace and kindness be with you.

Well altenweg you are very correct... deep down, I don't like this idea even the bit of it. But the even slightest idea of spending at least a long while wnough with him sounded so perfect right? Well, now that I take in what you are feeding me, I think I am finally understanding but I still have that slight doubt. I just don't think I am ready, though I love him, I don't think he means so much to me to leave behind my friends, fmaily, my prized possesions, and heck, even my authority/dance officer spot on my team. I've always dreamed of that and I got it, though it's almost over. I still have one more comitment until I hand it over... this Saturday. And he planned on leaving o' dark early Wednesday morning. I also need to finish graduation. I'm ending the eighth grade and fourteen. I can be very naïve at times and my feelings for him are very strong. I'm not going to be perfidious about this but this is bery hard not to take this chance... but your opinion makes even more sense. But I have to let him know I'm not ready. He said he would understand... but really... would he? That's the question I repeat to myself especially all today. But I am going to talk to him here soon, altenweg... do you mind getting on this post every now and then for the night, I want to tell you and everybody else how it goes... how he reacts to the breathtaking situation. Thank you all very much, especially you altenweg. Much thanks and appreciation.

I'll be here. If I don't answer right away it just means that I'm sleeping or busy at the moment but as soon as I see your post I'll come and check on it.

I know that you still have that little bit of doubt, but you're doing the right thing, really you are.

You just made my day, so I want to thank you as well. You will go far in this world, you're a very smart girl. Big hugs to you. :)

Just stay strong. We're here if you need to talk. :)

Have you told him why you don't want to run away with him? If he knows that you will be miserable being with him and away from everything else, he shouldn't be asking you to run away with him. He if loves you at all, he would want what's best for you, and tearing you away from everything is most likely not the best for you. I'm not saying that everything you feel for him is wrong, I'm just saying take an honest look at your relationship, because from where I stand, it looks like he's just afraid to be lonely and is taking advantage of the fact that you love him so much.

P.S. I completely agree with the insanity of adults constantly telling us teens that we don't know what love is and bla bla bla.

P.S.S. If you're still hesitant about him leaving without you, just think about the saying love conquers all.
Good luck!

OK... I understand all the point of views you are all coming from, and I very much talked to him... and he said he agrees 100%, but what bothers me, and please don't say I told you so, but he said he might still go. I mean please don't tell me see he doesn't love you as much as he thought you did or bla bla bla... but he said he MIGHT still go for a few months and come back for me quote unquopte but that doesn't make sense. I mean if you run away... why would you plan to come back in a few months? That doesn't quite grasp the concept of runniung away... though I am not going to officially. I am confdused there as well? Any more opinions? Im so sorry if I am asking to much:/

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Originally Posted by crazychick56

ok.... i understand all the point of views you are all coming from, and I very much talked to him.... and he said he agrees 100%, but what bothers me, and please don't say I told you so, but he said he might still go. I mean please don't tell me see he doesnt love you as much as he thought you did or bla bla bla.... but he said he MIGHT still go for a few months and come back for me quote unquopte but that doesnt make sense. I mean if you run away... why would you plan to come back in a few months? That doesnt quite grasp the concept of runniung away.... though I am not going to officially. I am confdused there as well? Any more opinions? Im so sorry if I am asking to much:/

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Can I ask why he wants to run away so badly?

Are things bad at home for him? Does he think it will be fun? Why is he so intent on doing this?

Obviously something is going on and he thinks that running away is the only answer.

At least he accepted the fact that you aren't going with him, he didn't try to put a guilt trip on you or anything.

You're doing the right thing by staying put, you can't make him stay.

Do you think he'd be willing to sign up to this site and talk to us? Maybe we can get through to him. Find out what's going on. Get him some help.

As for asking to many questions. No, you're not. That's why we're here. :)

I agree with Altenweg... see if he will at least talk to us... who knows, maybe we can help... sometimes it helps talking to a stranger... and, by the way, I'm glad you're staying... :D

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Originally Posted by crazychick56

ok.... i understand all the point of views you are all coming from, and I very much talked to him.... and he said he agrees 100%, but what bothers me, and please don't say I told you so, but he said he might still go. I mean please don't tell me see he doesnt love you as much as he thought you did or bla bla bla.... but he said he MIGHT still go for a few months and come back for me quote unquopte but that doesnt make sense. I mean if you run away... why would you plan to come back in a few months? That doesnt quite grasp the concept of runniung away.... though I am not going to officially. I am confdused there as well? Any more opinions? Im so sorry if I am asking to much:/

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Whe some one askes you "what is love?" What do you say? Is it that intense burning in the heart where you feel all euphoric and walking on clouds? When some one is committed undyingly to you and you alone, thus are willing to sacraficing their own happiness for yours? Is it a heated passion that drives you to do wild and unpredictable things for some one? Is it when two people are "ment" for one another, and they go against all odds to be together, and only want each other? Or...

Is love about taking reponsibility for the feelings/emotions you are experiencing and maintaining self control while "getting to know" some one, until you "learn" who they are. Then when you decide it's appropriate, and you truly do care for this person, you step out of the hold of self control and allow your every passion to flame high and burn bright with what some call "True Love". Knowing that you waited until you were safe, compatible, respectable, responsible, and "ready" to take these steps together and then build a mental, emotional, and Physical relationship on Truth, honesty, open to one another, and ultiamtely Love. "People who grow together, stay together."- Nestorian (Side Note: Just because I said, "...stay together." doesn't mean I was referring to then being in the same kind of relationship together. Just to clairify, as many people seem to think I meant that they did not separate. They stay friends essencialy.) Sorry about that, I"m not a strong writer, nor speller. :p

So, OP has your veiw on Love changed, I doubt it. Thats cool, but I thought I'd share my personal opinion on Love, and what it really means. I can't honestly say i've ever met any one who agreed with me, as of yet at least. I wish you well in your endevore, and I hope you keep in mind that "No one in the entire universe deserves your love as much as you do."-Buddha

Take care and may peace and kindness be with you.

P.S. If you focus upon one thing, your entire life will depend upon that one thing. If you open your mind, the possibilities become endless.

Allow life to happen, and try not to fight it. Be pliable, and flow with life.

Okay... one at a time... Nestorian- don't say that you haven't met anybody that agrees with you... because I do... somewhat... halfway:/

And thank you very much IWHO... :)


And altenweg.. He does have ti pretty rough. I mean I would understand why he wants to... but doesn't need to. He and his family do not get along and he fully does not love his family... especially his dad. His dad hits him.. but I wouldn't quite call it abuse... but he still does it for no reason. He wants to get away from his dad no doubt about it but he has to stay and the only reason his mother stays with his dad is because of the financial support. He has had a pretty bad environment as well... he isn't the msot poor hearted soul to feel sorry for out there... but he definitely shouldn't be ignored and he definitely isn't treated the way a normal teenager should be... I mean he deals with it best he can. He has attempted runnign away inordinate amounts of times before... but hasn't succeeded because of me.

He doesn't want to leave me behind but he can't stand his life here. He already does have an account (cause I told him to make one for me:P) but his name is bemus900523 or something like that. I will put him on my friends... I haven't seen to that yet.. and I would like it if you tried to talk to him... much thanks would be given.


Everybody- I have taken most opinions to mind... but just know some of them I read... thought about... and just didn't quite accept it. Not that it wasn't good or anything... and no offense... I just like to speak my mind. It doenst mean it waswnt good... all of opinions I have been getting is very helpful... just doenst mean I WILL for sure take it... thanks:)


But altenweg I owe you most thanks... everything you have said I have taken into thought and you have helped me out a lot here... so more opinions... please... I'm very hooked:)


Why would he want to do this? I mean I thought he felt strongly for me... why would he leave me for a few motnhs? But what's the point in leaving if you plan on coming back even before you even leave? Have any opinions? Does he just want attention? HELP!! :(

Sweetie, if his dad hits him, even if it's not often, it's abuse. He doesn't have to put up with it, he doesn't have to just sit back and accept it, there is help out there.

Sadly, that help will require him to speak up and it may get him taken from his home and placed elsewhere. But, he's planning on running away anyway, so maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Personally, I think he wants a bit of attention. This is how I see it, but I don't know him or his side of the story, so this is just a guess.

It sounds like his father ignores him, the only time he gets any attention is when his father hits him. You said he's tried to run away before, but he didn't, because of you. Could it be that he didn't because deep down he really doesn't want to?

When he talks about running away you pay more attention to him, right? It's only natural, I would pay more attention to him too.

Could it be that he wants you to go with him because he's afraid of running off on his own?

He sounds really confused, and running away definitely won't solve anything, especially if he plans on coming back in a few months. If he thinks his dad's mad now, wait until he comes home.

Also, he has to realize, the cops will come looking for him, most likely find him, force him to go back home or into foster care and then he'll be even worse off then he is now. He's a minor, he can't just leave because he wants to.

There are tons of resources available to him. I know they sound scary, I know that he might reject them because he'll feel like whatever control he has is being taken away, but really, if he goes ahead and runs away and succeeds, he'll pay for it for the rest of his life.

No matter what though, don't let this change you. I know, easier said then done. The thing is, you can't change him or what he does, you can only love him and accept him. But, you aren't responsible for the choices he makes, only for your own. You aren't responsible for his life.

I'm sure that you're feeling really stuck right now, don't know what to do, but sweetie, there really isn't anything you can do but talk to him, encourage him to talk to someone (like us) that can help him so that he has every option available to him. We'll do our very best for him and for you. :)

Sorry for the book. I got on a role. ;)

No no no, its OK altenweg... I like the opiniopns you give me... it makes me feel more... in control... more centered:)


But you I have talked to him and tried to encourage him not to but he is a tugff cookie to crack and yes it is easier said than done... he is hard to convince... but I left out a really importnatn fact you probably need to know...


He used to do drugs and drinnk... then he met me. That changed when he started dating me. Nobody he has ever dated has... enthiused... inspired him to stop it... until along came Sommer(me!:P) and when we broke up this one time... he got back into it again because it "calms and mollifies him" and when we gave the relationship another shot..,. he hasn't stopped again since. I mean,. he is trying but I think he is still doing it now and then. I have been told that he can't only stop for me... but for hiself as well. I mean what if we seperated(again.. ) then what? He is going to start it again... most liekyl. So the only way to give it up is to mainly doing it for yourself... though its sweet to stop for me as well:0...

So you see... he is like his own person... though he loves me(or so it is supposed to seem) I don't think I can talk to him about that... he just will ignore the subject. I'll try to get him on if you talk to him? Thanks:) and that sums up the story... but I'm still oober confused:/...
Tell me when you get tired of my asking for more? If you don't mind then okay... :) I would like that even more:)