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-   -   My friend is wondering if it is wrong to be attracted to her couzin? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=349613)

  • May 4, 2009, 11:07 AM
    giggle_monster
    My friend is wondering if it is wrong to be attracted to her couzin?
    She is 15 and her couzin is 19 and she tries not to flirt with him bt can't seem to not flirt. She is not always around her couzin bt whenever she is she don't no what to do because that attration is very strong than when she's not around him. I told her that its gross and that she don't need to get involve. She affriade that her couzin is going to find out and think that he will tell her mom and dad and then her family will think she is nasty so she don't no what to do. She don't no whether to try really hard not to flirt or to just tell her family and maybe they might help her get over it. Will you guys help me help her? She likes her couzin a lot, the thing she likes the most is the way he so funny, smells good, the way he dresses, and the way she nos him already. The bad thing is he's her first couzin. She is not trying to act out on the attraction bt she can't help it. Yea I told her to stop and that she will get over it.


    She doesn't want to really be with her cousin, she said she just wants to like kind of be kissin cousins I don't know bt I think she does want to be with her cousin.
  • May 4, 2009, 01:37 PM
    ajGambino

    She's 15 years old, she'll get over it. I don't know if it's normal (because I've never found my cousins attractive) but I'm sure it's because she's still young. Don't worry, she'll get over it soon.
  • May 4, 2009, 01:39 PM
    adam_89

    That is a little odd. I am sure she will get over it soon though. Maybe just a little confusion at that age.
  • May 4, 2009, 01:42 PM
    KatiePlce

    Tell your cousin she is still young and at that age attraction is natural. I'm sure she will grow out of it, but the flirting thing shouldn't go to far. Might need to stop if she feels that she is acting on her attraction to him too strong. He's 19 she needs to find kids her age to be around.
  • May 4, 2009, 05:33 PM
    liz28

    Family is family and it wouldn't be right if she acts on her attraction. It is okay to think one of your family members are cute because I give my brothers compliments all the time but never would I want to be with him. So tell her not to act on it unless she wants her family to look at her as being weird.
  • May 4, 2009, 06:38 PM
    Triysle
    All moral implications aside, she needs to ask herself why she is attracted to this guy. If she can't figure out specifically what it is about the guy, then she's probably just confused about what she wants and is driven by young, hormonal urges. And those urges are probably attributed to a more physical attraction than an emotional one.

    Just my opinion. She's only 15, and...well no one know what they really want at that age, lol.

    ~ Tee
  • May 4, 2009, 06:53 PM
    JoeCanada76

    In some countries it is acceptable to actually marry a cousin. Not first cousin, but second and third cousin.

    Is it wrong to be attracted to somebody NO.

    Is it wrong to act on this attraction, YES.

    As everybody said this person is 15 and hormones are going crazy. This crush will eventually pass.

    Joe
  • May 6, 2009, 10:39 AM
    giggle_monster

    I have told her that she needs to get over it but she said she is trying to. Thanks for the help.
  • May 6, 2009, 10:50 AM
    talaniman

    Attractions are natural, especially added to the family love. Its what she does about it that counts, so staying within the bounds of good behavior is what's needed.
  • May 6, 2009, 11:05 AM
    Wondergirl

    When I was 15, I had a crush on two of my first cousins. One was a student at Yale, so I really admired his smarts and also his good looks. I got over the crush once local boys came into my life and asked me out on dates, but I still, to this day, admire that cousin who became a college professor and newspaper editor.

    Another first cousin was also very good-looking and lived in Idaho on a farm with dairy cattle and horses, among other things. When I was 15 and my family visited our relatives in Idaho, he gave me the rattle off a rattlesnake he had killed. (I still have that rattle in a little box.) He helped me improve my horse-riding skills in Western-style (I knew only Eastern) and saddled up quarter horses for us ride as we rounded up the cows for evening milking. I had a crush on him because he represented a way of life that was totally fascinating and romantic to me, a starry-eyed teenager, a life much like in the Zane Grey books I had read. As with the other cousin, once I started dating local boys, my crush disappeared, but happy memories remain to this day.
  • May 8, 2009, 05:27 AM
    giggle_monster

    She says that she's getting over him thanks for all the help. I don't see how she could like her cousin anyway but I think she is like someone else a lot.
  • May 8, 2009, 07:47 AM
    JoeCanada76

    Its normal to have crushes or likes even towards a family member. Difference is, most people do not act on it. That simple. Cousins in some countries as I said before it is even acceptable too Marry. So it is not really out there to think people can like each other.

    As with most crushes they go away like this one.

    Bye.

    Joe
  • May 8, 2009, 08:02 AM
    Clarizzy

    Yes, it is so wrong. But I think she's starting to obsess with her cousin. A stronger state of mind and avoiding him, will be your main objectives in overcoming this.
  • May 8, 2009, 08:07 AM
    oscarlicous

    Tell your cousin that her hormones are just going crazy. She should understand what they make her do and why.(hopefully in bio or health or some class like that) she's just going through a little phase and she should get over it. Does she have a boyfriend? If she does then she should try hanging around her boyfriend just a little more than her cousin. I'm not saying just totally ingore her cousin, I'm just saying that maybe she should spend more time with her boyfriend. If she's aroung him long enough, she might not have that intense feelings for him.
  • May 8, 2009, 10:55 AM
    giggle_monster
    WhAT DOES she's starting to obsess with her cousin MEAN?


    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Clarizzy View Post
    yes, it is so wrong. but i think she's starting to obsess with her cousin. a stronger state of mind and avoiding him, will be your main objectives in overcoming this.

  • May 8, 2009, 10:56 AM
    giggle_monster
    You no who this is about

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by oscarlicous View Post
    tell your cousin that her hormones are just going crazy. She should understand what they make her do and why.(hopefully in bio or health or some class like that) shes just going through a little phase and she should get over it. Does she have a boyfriend? If she does then she should try hanging around her boyfriend just a little more than her cousin. Im not saying just totally ingore her cousin, im just saying that maybe she should spend more time with her boyfriend. If shes aroung him long enough, she might not have that intense feelings for him.

  • May 8, 2009, 11:37 AM
    talaniman

    Seems giggle monster/oscarlicous, are the same, Is there an explanation??
  • May 8, 2009, 12:01 PM
    JoeCanada76
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Seems giggle monster/oscarlicous, are the same, Is there an explanation??

    Now that is even more interesting.
  • May 8, 2009, 12:56 PM
    Curlyben
    Sorry, but I know that this is posted from school and I have previously had words with both parties.
  • May 8, 2009, 01:54 PM
    oscarlicous

    oscarlicous is FRIENDS with giggle_monster. She told me what was going on with me cousin. We are NOT the same people!

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