All right so I've been with my boyfriend for quite a while and it's great however I'm insanely jealous and I just can't tell if I'm wrong or if I'm right to feel weird.. help! My problem is I knew him before when they were dating but not.. / sleeping together and I'd be on the phone with a friend and just hearing about all of it in great great detail i.e. how she was the best he'd ever had if you get what I mean and so on. So they stopped talking for 8 months but when he moved across the country to with me he started talking to her telling her he missed her and how he hates it there, etc. Anyhow, he went home and I recently moved out here but we had a month apart. I asked him not to hang out with her unless I was around 'cause I hadn't met her and wasn't comfortable and on his Birthday he helped her move and they hung out.. great. After that he told me all about how she was doing and Everything and I said OK just stop talking then 'cause I didn't feel I could trust him after he'd initially agreed. Anyway he kept talking to her, etc. and finally yesterday I just gave up I said OK fine whatever. So today I had classes and he was pretty much pushing me out the door later on I found out he'd talked to her for an hour plus and the second I got home they stopped talking. They never talk when I'm around. He coincidently left his camera at her house when they hung out on his birthday so he says he's going to get it tomorrow. I'm freaking out big time 'cause I don't want to be some crazy girlfriend the girl has a boyfriend but.. I'm so jealous :\ should I be worried about my boyfriend tomorrow?

I am going to level with you, he's cheating on you. First off you are not an overly jealous girl. You have every right to question. Secondly if he cared for you then he would understand where you are coming from and not want to hurt your feelings by talking/hanging out with this other girl. My mother always told me men are like bus stops, there's one on every corner. Lol He needs to start putting you first and break it off with this other girl, and if he can't/wont then you don't want him any way. Good luck

Oksy, I'm not going to go as far as the above poster, but you are not wrong to be suspicious.

If it was me I'd kick his as far away from me as possible!

You have explicitly asked him not to contact her and he continues to do so. He has no respect for you, and is emotionally abusing you.

But by the sounds of it you are quite insecure so you may feel these types of behaviour are OK. Or maybe it's just that when were in the box its much harder to see ourselves.

I'm telling you, this isn't good and won't end well, get out while you still have some dignity and self worth left.

If he's really that bothered, you'll know fairly quickly by his responses.

Talaniman Rule- Never get involved with someone who is still involved with the ex.

Your not be jealous, you have a good reason to be and he is being dishonest, disrespectful, and deceitful.

I think its foolish to let someone treat you like that.

I'm not saying he's cheating and not saying he isn't. He isn't being very trustworthy in my eyes, and that's a huge deal breaker for me

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Hey, so my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now but I'm not sure what to do / think anymore.. basically we've been living together since we started dating minus the months apart because we're from opposite sides of the country. Anyhow, we didn't have a great experience in my home town because my ex lived next door and constantly harassed the both of us so he came home and I came out here a month later. At that time you know everything was lovey dovey and great.. after I got out here it started to fall apart. I've heard all these stories, even from him, about how he used to surprise his ex's with balloon rides, fancy dinners, everything.. I haven't had any of that.. I'm not familiar with this area what so ever and it's out in the country so you need a car to get around and I don't have one to use at any time until after 4 or 5 when everyone gets home so I can't get out much.. we've gone to the movies and to two friend's places to play board games but besides that my day consists of getting up, TV, working out and watching my boyfriend play video games. I really wanted to get a job but he nagged at me about how much gas would be because the nearest city is 40+ minutes away and he drives a truck so I couldn't and it's not like staying in gets you many friends. He's always mad at me because I haven't made friends and I'm always here, bored out of my mind and sometimes he doesn't want me here when he gets home from work.. I don't know what I'm supposed to do and now he says he's bored of me and I should have made friends and got a job. I want to know if it's my fault he's bored? Now all of a sudden he doesn't know if he's coming back to my home town (we're supposed to go back this month.. I've arranged for a different place AWAY from my ex to live).. what do I do? Or think? I took him out to hockey and football games when he was with me and I brought him out with my friends every week even gave him an xbox early for his birthday to keep him amused..? He doesn't think I'm girlfriendy enough either.. but I make him breakfast, bake cakes and all kinds of things, I've made him some of my favourite recipes, worked on things he's asked me to.. please let me know what you think!

P.S. I've been here for 5 months..

He sounds a little stubborn, telling you NOT to get a job then says he wants you out of the house with a job and friends, and calls you boring? He's the one that seems a little confused not you. He should be a little more understanding about how things ended up because he somewhat asked for it.

Do you plan on staying back at your place for good or are you going to stay with him?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KatiePlce

He sounds alittle stubborn, telling you NOT to get a job then says he wants you out of the house with a job and friends, and calls you boring? He's the one that seems alittle confused not you. He should be alittle more understanding about how things ended up because he somewhat asked for it.

Do you plan on staying back at your place for good or are you going to stay with him?

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-- well, for good I have nursing school to start up and his firefighter training takes place out there & afterwards he says he has to stay out there for 4-6 years before he'll get hired elsewhere (like here.. )

Hey, it sounds as if you guys did the 'too much too soon trick' and didn't get to know each other slowly. Living with someone from the start places huge expectations on the relationship as you've now realised.

No, it's not your fault he is bored - I think that his comments are unreasonable - but it may be he feels he's lost his freedom, and having you hanging around and relying on him for company made him realise he'd made a mistake.

I'd go back to my home town, if I were you, with or without him. I'd start my nursing course and take control of my life back. It doesn't sound as if the relationship worked when you lived together and you were dependent. Be independent, live your life and let him do what he wants.

Haha, you sound very similar to one of my most recent exes. It must be difficult for you, being in unfamiliar territory with no way to get out and experience things on your own. Ultimately though, that's what you have to do. I can tell you exactly what the problem is here - you don't know yourself. You don't know how to have fun on your own, and your boy is picking up on that and losing interest, fast.

He's not completely innocent, though ;) You need to get on him about going out and doing things more often. It could be as simple as taking a walk through a park or along the beach, depending on where you live. Sadly, since you're basically living with him, you won't have as much opportunity figure out exactly what it is that you want from life. I noticed one of the posts before mine mentioned the "too fast, too soon" line, and I have to agree with that.

Moving across the country into unfamiliar territory would be much less scarier if you had a companion to help you through it. Obviously you feel like your boy is not meeting these standards, so you need to come right out and let him know. If he isn't ready to take on that responsibility, then he shouldn't have let you come all that way in the first place. Maybe he's not sure what he wants, but right now you need to get a handle on this before it gets too out of control.

Best of luck ;)

~ Tee

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K so it seems that in public my boyfriend likes to embarrass or belittle me.. examples would be say he offers to pay for dinner or pay for Something rather then in front of the cashier 90% of the time he'll make a comment like alwayssss making me pay, or something about me emptying his wallet, you know? But he's the one who has offered so I tried the no thank you, I've got it and he gets all weird and sometimes upset that I won't let him pay. If we argue it's on Facebook in 5 minutes and, yes, he messages his mom about it and pretty much all of his friends. He also talks to his ex girlfriend about me, negative things, which of course I stumbled across once when I used his computer one day. Another thing would be he has a new apartment and he used to live with his parents, of course, his mom was the type to do all the cleaning, all his laundry, keep his room clean, never ask him to do a Thing around the house she did it all.. now he wants me to clean his apartment for 20 bucks, one hour each week.. I agreed at first but am having second thoughts because he'll call me in front of coworkers to be like so are you clenaing today.. not to have a conversation but to sort of let them know that he's paying his girlfriend to clean his house.. feel like it's a put down I mean I did that when I lived in Ontario because I couldn't find any employment and he told everyone I was his Maid. What do I do? Why does he do that? I've tried asking him to stop with the cashier thing and he says he doesn't realize it.. but still keeps it up.

This man or rather mommys boy is disrespectful rude and not a loving caring partner.he s manipulating you and he s trying to lower your selfesteem.you re not a doormat-you deserve a man who treats you right.leave this waste of time and find your own happiness.

Get a new guy. He does not respect you. Before you do so, you need to ask yourself why you have allowed this to occur. (so you don't let it happen again)

The cashier thing is probably more about humor, but the rest like cleaning his apartment is something to stop. If he doesn't respond favorably, quit (being his maid).

He can only do what you let him get away with.