Adult bipolar son refuses to leave home
I don't know if "Family Law" is the right forum, if not please direct me to the approirate area.
I am a single mother in Florida. My only child is a 20 year old young man who lives with me. I love him more than anything on the planet but his bipolar disorder and refusal to seek help, along with the way he treats me (bullying, verbally abusive, breaking/throwing/smashing my possessions when the bipolar rage gets the best of him) is taking its toll on me mentally, emotionally and even physically. I don't feel that I am helping him by allowing him to live with me under those conditions. But it seems like my hands are tied.
Here's what I have found so far as to why it is next to impossible to get him out of my home:
Police told me that I can't just tell him to "get out" or have him escorted out because it's "his home too." The fact that he contributes absolutely nothing to this household is beside the point apparently.
Police told me I would need to give him a written eviction notice but I can't for the following reasons:
- I don't own my home, I rent. According to our local Clerk of Court I would need to get my landlord to do the eviction; a written eviction notice from me would have no legal standing in court.
- Even if an eviction notice from were legal and binding, my son has threatened to demolish everything I own in retaliation.
- My son's name is not on the lease therefore I'm not even sure that my landlord could legally evict him.
- Even if the landlord has the right to evict him I would be fined $100 for every month that he has been living in my home without his name on the lease. I've been here over a year so we're looking over $1000, which I don't have right now!
A police officer had told me that my son could be arrested and/or Baker Acted (involuntary confined psychaitric evaluation) if he were hurting himself, or me, or damaging my property.
Last night he broke a floor lamp by hurling it across the room in a rage. I have had to replace 3 lamps, 1 ceiling light fixture, and a stereo in the last year. Other things have been damaged as well but I haven't replaced them because they weren't essential items and money is tight. And some things can't be replaced, like my mother's china...
At any rate I finally called the police; my son had left by the time they arrived and they said there was really nothing they could do unless he was physically abusing me. I was shocked. When I stated that he destroyed MY lamp, stereo, etc. they informed me that those things were HIS as well since he lives here and it's not against the law to destroy your own possessions. My son returned while the officer was still here and the officer told him that he should contact a mental health agency to see if he can get assistance with getting back on his medications and getting treatment (he has no insurance and currently no income) He agreed to make the calls but as soon as the officer was out of earshot told me he has no intention of calling anyone. He can't see where he has a problem and that I'm the one who probably needs psyciatric help.
So like I said it seems to me that I am stuck and my hands are tied unless my son moves out voluntarily, which he won't do as that would mean he'd have to go out and find (and KEEP) a job. If what the police and Clerk of Court have told me then my son pretty much has free reign to live in my home, eat my food, use (and destroy) my possessions and there is little or nothing I can do about it. Yet at the same time I a living in a powder keg and never know from minute to minute or day to day when I will be verbally attacked, threatened, bullied, etc IN THE HOME THAT I PAY FOR AND MAINTAIN. I fail to see how that is right and fair to me as the head of this household and the sole provider.
Would an attorney possibly be able to find some way to help me out of this mess? And if so what are the chances that I might be able to find one who would take me on Pro Bono? I have very little money and will be unemployed due to layoffs within the next two months.
I just really need an advocate... I've heard everything I could ever want to know about my son's rights as a resident in my home but where do MY rights come into it?? And who will help me to assert and stand up for my rights??
I do need to state that my son is savvy enough and "smart" enough to only use his bullying and verbal abuse tactics when there are no witnessess therefore it's basically his word against mine that these things actually do happen. I might be able to get more help from law enforcement if it was somehow documented...
Thanks for hearing me vent and any advice on whom I should contact is greatly appreciated.