Runei brought this up - but these are KEYS to stay on top of the game - and things WOMEN should look for in a great guy. I wanted to post this for everyone to see.

Sexy Qualities You Can Cultivate
By Oskar McHendry
Sex Education Correspondent - Every Saturday





Women often make up their minds about what kind of guy you are within the first 15 seconds of meeting you. Oftentimes they know (or think they know) everything that they need to simply from seeing you across the room.
There are a select number of qualities that women will discern and then use to make a snap judgment on your screw-ability. Here are some steps you can take to cultivate them and up your chances.

1- Create an element of danger
The element of danger is best described as a combination of unpredictability and mystery. If you have this appeal, you play by your own rules. You don't take crap from anyone. You exist in your own space and the room adapts to you, not the other way around. You want people to feel your presence when you walk in.

2- Play up your physical attributes
If you have a good ***, a good chest, strong arms... then show them off. Not that you need the six-pack abs and chiseled physique, but stay in shape with some jogging or weight training -- it's always a good thing. Just don't obsess over fitness or you'll be branded a vain meathead.

3- Be well-groomed
Just the fact that you care about yourself enough to work on your look gives you what marketing people would called "added value." If you believe you're worth the extra effort in front of the mirror, women are all the more likely to believe you're worth looking at. Just don't go so far that you look too manicured or you'll be seen as a narcissist.

If it works for you, then the two- or three-day stubble might give you that bad boy look women love. Good cologne used sparingly goes a long way on a man. Have trimmed and clean nails. Keep your hands moisturized (women appreciate this). Keep your clothes wrinkle-free.

4- Let your sense of humor fly
Women love a sense of humor. Be quick. Be witty. Be clever. And be elusive. A sense of humor is perfect for keeping the conversation moving. Remember to be light with your humor. No joking about "downer" topics or being too self-effacing. When possible, use your sense of humor to tease them. For example, "Hey girl, you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, why are you breaking the rules?"

5- Do the cool, confident thing
Exude an air of power. You want people to listen when you talk and care about your opinion. You need to show confidence. There's no greater aphrodisiac. Stay in control, there's nothing you can't handle. And don't get caught up in petty squabbles. Be the "bigger" man consistently. Furthermore, speak in a clear, deep voice. Men are given a deep register, use it more.

You need to be comfortable in your own skin; proud of your look, your social skills and your posture.


The rules of engagement

There are many, many ways to reach the top of your game, but chances are that when you do, you will have (at least, in part) developed some of these traits in yourself. If you're starting from the bottom, you really can't go wrong pursuing these qualities. Believe it and you can be it!

Yea great stuff WildCat.
I already know most off it but a nice and well put list :)


Found some more to...
For you youngsters... or others that just want to learn more

Successfully Pursuing Single Women
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1. Playing hard to get is very important. You must appeal to her power of seduction. Let her use her sensuality and sexuality to "catch" you. The important thing is that once you know a single girl is interested in you, then you can appeal to her power of seduction by playing hard to get. Don't call her every night. Don't make big sexual moves on her at first. You must appear to be interested, yet still holding back a bit - not quite sure if you want the relationship to go further. Make her feel as though she has to work harder to convince you that you do want the relationship to develop.

2. Convince the girl that she is more interested in you, than you are in her.

Example: End the date before she does. You've gone to a movie and are now having a bite to eat at a restaurant. Instead of letting the date drag on to that awkward time when she finally says she has to go home, maintain control of the evening. While the conversation is still good, while the date is still going well, announce that it's getting late and it's time to go. Tell her that you enjoyed the evening and that you are looking forward to getting together again.

This is going to surprise her, since every other guy thinks, that by some miracle, if he hangs on long enough that maybe he'll convince her to have sex with him. If a girl wants to have sex with you, she will let you know. So if you haven't gotten these vibes, end the date while it's still going well. You'll set yourself apart from the other guys she's used to. You demonstrate that you are not easy to get.

Example: Don't rush things sexually with single women. Appear as if you are still deciding whether you want to be involved. The first example in this section of ending a date before she does, is a great way to accomplish this. Also, if the mood, the time, the place isn't right, or it feels the slightest bit awkward, don't try kissing her for the first time. If she's interested, the time and place will come. But, by pushing it, you risk blowing an important event, you risk coming off as being desperate for action and worst of all, you risk appearing inexperienced and inept. Don't be afraid to wait until the time is right.

Example: Don't always be available to do something with her. You have called a girl and asked her to go to a movie on Tuesday and she declines. Don't say, "Well, how about Wednesday?" or "What day can you make it?" Simply say, "That's too bad you can't make it. Maybe some other time. Talk to you later." You have to avoid making it sound as if you are free any time she wants you.

3. Don't always do what women expect you to do. Someone who does exactly what is expected on cue is boring. By being a little unpredictable, you become elusive, you keep women on their toes, wondering about you, and slightly insecure with respect to where they stand. If they expect you to try and make a move sexually - don't. If they expect you to ask them out for Saturday night, ask them out for Tuesday night. If they think you aren't interested, call out of the blue. If they expect you to call that night, call the next day.

4. You must convince a girl that she would be lucky to be with you. You may do this to a great extent just by properly presenting yourself with your image.

Examples: Dress as well or better than her. Be knowledgeable about the movie, the dinner, the wine, politics, or whatever. Use all the methods you learned in the chapter on image, but above all don't brag about yourself. They've heard "bull" before and they won't fall for it. Let your image speak for you. By keeping the conversation aimed at her, you say a lot about yourself.

Another way to convince a girl that she will be lucky to be with you is to play on her inadequacies. This has to be subtle so you don't come off as being negative.

Examples: If it comes up in the conversation that she's never been to Hawaii, accent the fact with, "Really, you've never been there? You should go sometime." If she mentions that she does not like her job, say, "It's hard to work in those conditions. You should get out of a situation that makes you unhappy." If she mentions a health problem, ask a few questions about it to accent the fact that she is not perfect. If she exposes an insecurity, ask why she lets that bother her.

5. On the first get-together, talk only about her - not yourself. By talking about her, you learn more about her which will be valuable to you in planning strategy. Also, it is a subject she will be comfortable with. By not talking about yourself, you let your image speak for itself. And don't forget, the less women know about you, the more women want to know about you. Be a man of mystery.

6. Finally, when you first get to know a girl, it would be better if she suspects that you are seeing other women as well as her. It makes you more attractive to her and she knows she will have to work hard to get you.

How do you suggest that there are other women in your life? Just doing all the things we suggested in this section will accomplish that: Playing hard to get; not rushing into sex; not calling every night; not always being available; and being unpredictable.



Flirting
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Flirting was described as being "casual conversation with a romantic spark," and the consensus seemed to be that it is a learnable skill.

Some tips which various people offered were:



Ask specific, open-ended questions of the person you're flirting with; these demonstrate that you're interested specifically in THEM as a person, and also provide an opportunity for the discussion to take a romantic turn. Look for humor in what the person you're flirting with is saying, and let yourself laugh at his or her jokes if you find them funny. Try to look your best, and use good posture and eye contact. Don't follow people around or act needy. Don't be insincere. The topic of rejection came up. The key thing to understand about rejection seemed to be that "everybody gets rejected once in a while." One idea was that if you never risk rejection it's likely your social life will end up being very dull. It was also mentioned that the range of tastes in body type and personality type is enormous; something that you think is a liability is for some people almost certainly a turn-on. The question came up of how to tell if someone is interested in you. The following were mentioned as clues, especially when observed together:



If he or she is acting more flirtatious toward you than toward other people at the same event. If his or her friends are paying attention to you when he or she isn't around (often a clue that this person talked to his or her friends about you). If he or she is smiling while listening to you, and seems to be listening especially "actively."

There's a lot of crossover between good listening skills and good flirting skills, but there are also clear differences. For example, if you're in a job interview you're obviously going to be listening "actively," but nobody is going to confuse this with flirting. It's the "romantic spark" aspect of flirting that distinguishes it from standard "good listening." One attendee shared some interesting ideas on the importance of "validating what the other person wants to be." This means looking for specific ways in which how someone thinks of themselves as unique and valuable is consistent with their actual behavior and history.

Body language was brought up several times. Aligning your body towards the person you are interacting with, leaning slightly forwards (which usually happens naturally when someone is interested in what another has to say), using open posture, etc. were all mentioned. When people who like each other are listening especially intently to each other "mirroring" tends to naturally occur; body language, gestures, and breathing tend to synchronize between the two people. It is difficult to do these things consciously without them seeming forced; the discussion along these lines was therefore mainly descriptive.

Eye contact was also mentioned several times. Looking into someone's eyes just a little longer than would ordinarily be considered customary or comfortable seems to be a common element of the flirting process.

Asking questions that are "almost too personal" was also brought up. The idea is that humans progress to greater levels of intimacy by sharing vulnerabilities, and that if someone is interested in you they are unlikely to turn down the chance to make the conversation more personal (unless you REALLY push the envelope, obviously... )

The importance of giving sincere complements was mentioned more than once. Going along with the idea of flirting being a learnable skill, it was mentioned that a good way to practice flirting is to do it a little bit every day, perhaps with friends or perhaps with postal workers :)

Social networks usually expand by cultivating friendships which are serious enough for your new friends to introduce you to their friends. For this reason, activities that allow prolonged contact with other people are valuable. Political action groups or volunteer groups or special interest/hobby groups are especially worthwhile because you get a chance to meet folks in a more prolonged and sincere context, because you already have a shared interest, and because if nothing good flirting-wise comes out of it at least you either learned more about your hobby or did some good for your community.

Some more!
Now go for it my fellows!!



First Date Golden Rules for the Man
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The following suggestions to a man can make the difference between a memorable, average or forgettable first date.

#1: Call before leaving to pick up a date. This is a very nice touch, as it enables a woman to know exactly how much time is left to apply additional mascara, scrub toilets or pluck facial hair--not necessarily in that order.

#2: Bring something to the door. To arrive with something is a sure sign of good breeding, whether flowers, candy, card, main entrée, dessert, palm tree, nice bottle of wine or champagne, VISA card, kitten, bag of groceries or winning lottery ticket.

#3: Have a plan. Most women appreciate a decisive man with an idea or two for the date. "Uh, what would you like to do?" is not usually what a woman hopes to hear from a man once he arrives at the door, as it can be interpreted as wishy-washiness, unpreparedness, laziness, irresponsibility or a lack of concern, effort or excitement about the date.

#4: Offer two or three meal/date choices. This is extremely rare and in very good form, as it provides the illusion of a team effort, while still leaving much of the planning to the man. For example, three suggestions for dinner offered could include McDonald’s, Burger King or Taco Bell.

#5: Try to refrain from looking at other women. If another woman should walk by who is drop-dead gorgeous and impossible not to gaze upon - and if a pleasant, non-life-threatening evening is important--avoid getting busted while checking her out. Blinders to provide assistance are obtainable at most feed and grain stores.

#6: Be a gentleman. A woman appreciates small gestures--doors opened, concern over the height of heels before suggesting a walk, escort to the door at the end of the date, dinner jackets thrown over mud puddles and no unwanted or uninvited groping and fondling.

#7: Don’t try to create an immediate illusion of intimacy. To bypass the normal preliminaries required prior to physical intimacy, some men choose to deliver lines, discuss marriage, raising a family, old-fashioned values or the "relationship" in a future context.

#8: Try to maintain a good sense of humor. For most women, this is a big one. Make a woman laugh and the battle is half won.

#9: Don’t be afraid to leave a decent tip. Many women notice the amount of money a man leaves as a tip. This does not necessarily mean a woman calculates how generous a man might be with her in the future, but a four-bit tip on a $9.50 bar tab may speak volumes, especially if her background includes a stint in food or beverage service.

#10: Don’t promise to call again unless planning to follow through. The way out of this is to say, "Thank you--maybe we can do this again some time," the operative word being maybe. This is a polite and non-committal alternative to making false promises.





Nice Guys Don’t Flirt: How and Why They Should
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When my close friend Eric developed a crush on a woman who worked in a nearby tea shop, he spent weeks contemplating how he would approach her. Striking up a conversation while ordering Earl Grey seemed too bold. If he lingered too long at a table by himself, he'd seem like a loser. But if he showed up with a group of guy pals, he might come across like a macho jerk. He settled on arriving at the shop with a posse of female friends to demonstrate, as he puts it, that he was "pre-approved by the female sex." In this way, he was finally able to nervously introduce himself to the woman behind the counter. Amusingly enough, they became friends. She introduced him to her co-worker, whom he ended up dating for more than a year.

My boyfriend, when he was single, used to buy women drinks. But before the beverage could even be delivered, he'd run out of the bar, unsure and afraid of the next step. A handsome, eligible dentist I know recently needed several pep talks before he could phone a woman. Another nice guy pal has simply given up on flirting. He cannot imagine a line or approach that wouldn't seem contrived or insulting to a woman's intelligence. Better not to flirt at all than inadvertently confirm a woman's worst fears about male behavior.

What a dreadful loss to womankind! Nice guys — the ones we want to meet and fall in love with — don't flirt. Meanwhile, a verbose minority of jerks wreaks havoc with their uninhibited flirtatious ways. They whistle at women on the street, introduce themselves with cheesy lines, leer at breasts and legs but never brains. In short, they sully the reputations of their fellow men with rude, crude and socially unacceptable behavior. Why don't nice guys flirt? A nice man considers the woman's feelings above his own. He figures she probably doesn't want to be disturbed by a total stranger; best to leave well enough alone. A nice man is humble. He does not consider himself to be God's greatest gift to womankind, so he does not assume that she will see him as such. A nice man puts friendship before sex. He would rather get to know somebody slowly than come on strong from Day One.

The fear of making a bad impression looms large. Men, if they want to flirt successfully, must come across as both confident and harmless. It's a difficult balance to maintain. If you lean too far in either direction, the consequences are disastrous.

"The opposite of confident is a loser,” Eric says. “The opposite of harmless is even worse." Throughout my adult life, for reasons I can't quite explain, my close friends have almost all been men. Not just any men, mind you. These are Grade A quality chaps — nice, smart, handsome, polite — the kind you want to place atop a pedestal and bring home to mom. Thanks to these friendships, I've gotten a first-rate education in the mind of our brothers of the XY chromosome. I've come to understand their hopes and fears, their joys and guilty pleasures.

And when it comes to anxieties, few things rate higher with these fellows than flirting. They talk about it constantly. I've been asked to scour e-mails and phone messages for hidden messages. I offer the female take on when to ask a woman out and how. Hollywood would have us believe that men stand around in locker rooms and sit on barstools bragging of their latest conquests. In reality, they are probably bemoaning their paralysis when it comes to approaching, chatting with and asking out members of the opposite sex.

In hopes of helping men overcome their flirting phobia, I've written several articles on the topic. In one, I interviewed a flirting expert. For a glossy national men's magazine, I sent a romantically challenged acquaintance to get private lessons on flirting technique, then unleashed him on a series of bars and parties. I lurked in the background, furiously taking notes. The secret to giving good flirt, I've learned, is the ability to read and react properly to the signals a woman is sending. A smile means smile back. Two smiles means find an excuse to say hello.

The reason most men fail in flirting is they don't wait for the woman to make the first move. Numerous times I've been somewhere minding my own business when out of nowhere a stranger pops up and starts trying to make conversation. He may be very nice, good-looking and charming. But in my mind I'm wondering, Why in the hell is this man talking to me? What does he want?

Men need to pick their moments well. If a woman is busy, preoccupied or stressed out, the best flirt in the world won't impress her. For ages, I've been telling my friends that if they want to meet and flirt with women, they should go in for weekly manicures.

Flirtatious conversation should focus on her, not you. Ask about her interests, her work, her friends. Find common interests and explore them. Lines never work.

If a man is flirting with someone and, for whatever reasons, she stops sending warm signals, it is important to quickly and politely withdraw. For example, "I'm meeting someone" means "Leave me alone, freakazoid," not "Please stay and talk to me until my date arrives." To accept rejection gracefully is flirting's greatest challenge. I constantly find myself reassuring friends that the reasons for a woman's lack of interest are rarely ever personal.

In the past when men have started flirting with me uninvited, I've responded with such charming tactics as: 1. Smiling and nodding while looking at anyone or anything other than him. 2. Pretending that he doesn't exist. 3. Walking away. Or, 4. Telling him in no uncertain terms to go the way of the devil.

Today, I no longer give the automatic brush-off. Instead I try to convey that I'm flattered but not interested (unless he's rude; then he automatically gets the No. 4 treatment). Because I sympathize with how difficult it must have been to make that initial gesture. And because, if the guy seems nice, I want to encourage him in his flirting endeavors. Chances are, if he keeps at it, he'll eventually introduce himself to the right woman.

Good stuff - I agree with all of it.

So I've read all these guides...
But I'm wondering...
Its says over and over not to talk about yourself during the first date but to talk about her and get to know her.

But what are appropriate questions?
What doesn't go to far?
And even more important... what can I ask her that will make her supriced and glad?


Wonder

Like what makes a man different from others... in conversation...

Still waiting ;)

People like to talk about themselves.

When you are in a conversation with a women - and your not boring her. She should talk 70% of the time. Let her talk.

SOOOOO many guys make the bIG miske of trying to IMPRESS a women. She should impress YOU.

Women genrally use 7000 words a day while guy use 2000. Let HER talk - it's SO EASY!! Guys get a messed up worrying gabout what to talk about.

Ask about her self - ask about her relationships (you'll get great info back to see if she's a keeper). Ask about her family. Wha tshe does. What are her hobbies. What arte her causes.

MY GOD wildcat...
You are so full of relationship information... wher do you get it all from? :P

Thanks you so much for everything!

I like the causes thing... :)

Wonder

Yep - it's so freaking easy - women, when they are comfortable WILL TALK. Just let them talk!! Add a few things - seem interested.

Causes are key - see if she's a genuine women - not selfish or out for herself.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wonder1984

You are so full of relationship information...wher do you get it all from? :P

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That's exactly what I've been asking him too!

Oh man, I wish I had read all of this before I met the girl I'm seeing right now. I really messed up bad. I hope all this stuff can help me out.

DUDE - the BEST thing a guy can do is LISTEN!! Listen to her. Add your points when she's finished.

Did I say LISTEN!! And make sure to stare into her eyes every once in while - not stalker like... but gazingly.

Did I say listen and keep your trap shut??

Oh you will eventually have to spill your guts - but that will come later.

Very good point