Start with an old reliable:

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Let's count:
One to climb the ladder(1)
One to hold the ladder(2)
A Sergeant to requisition the ladder(3)
One to make coffee and one to get doughnuts

-- 5 --

A man gets off work and heads home into rush hour. He jams, he hustles, he squeezes and finally gets to the head of the SEVEN MILE long line of cars. Sure as the world, there's a State Trooper playing "Pace Car" at 10mph below the speed limit.

The man says "Screw this!" and passes the cop at Precisely 5.3mph under the speed limit.

Immediately the blue lights come on, of course.

The guy pulls over and rolls down his window as the trooper walks up carrying a plastic bucket.

"Trooper," the man says, "I know I wasn't speeding."

"No sir," the trooper replied, handing the man the bucket, "You weren't speeding. I got a call that I'm working a double shift right after I bought this ice cream. You're the first one with 'nads enough to pass me. You win! Have a nice day."

"And one to get the donuts" lol

The bucket of ice cream reminds me of a true story.

My son had a Trooper Sergeant as a friend down in Florida. One day while he was on patrol a delivery truck overturned on the I-95 interstate and he was called in to investigate the accident. When he got there he noticed it was a Budweiser beer truck that was wrecked. He radioed in to dispatch to send pretzels and a television. Everyone back at the station laughed very hard at that one.

But did he get the pretzels?