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-   -   Should I contact my ex? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=347874)

  • Apr 29, 2009, 11:59 PM
    jayfo4
    Should I contact my ex?
    Me and my ex went out for almost 2 years. She broke up with me for I don't know why. We had so much fun together. We had our moments when we argued but who doesn't. I was always there and vice versa. She was acting weird the weeks before the break up yet I didn't respond because I was getting ready for school and basketball season. Anyway, she sends me a text saying she doesn't want to be wit me anymore. When I went to go talk to her she told me she dumped me because she couldn't get over my past mistakes that I made over a year ago. I mean I made mistakes during the relationship that I shouldn't have done. Yet I never cheated, nor lusted over another girl. All my attention was on her. It hurt me because she never came to me about that problem. She also had a daughter and she said that I'm not ready to be a father. After hearing all of this I was hurt very bad because I put 100%. I am in college about to graduate in may, play basketball, and don't have a lot of money. Yet I used almost all my money my relatives gave me, loan money, and scholarship money to help her get her life together. She didn't have no car, home, nor job yet I was there by her side 4rm when she was pregnant and not having anything at all to me helping her find a job, her getting a car, and basically getting her life together. I tried to get her back but she wouldn't come back.

    I was so hurt that I would cry almost every night. It sucked for me that I gave the relationship my all and get dumped. I couldn't speak to her ever because the hurt would come back if I thought of her. After 7 months of talking to other girls I still couldn't find a girl like her. Then all of a sudden she sends me a text on myspace asking me how I'm doing. It kind of threw me off. I didn't think we would ever talk again. Im about to graduate from college this may and I found it weird that she would message me. I responded to it and we had a normal conversation. Afterwards I couldn't help but think if she is over me or does she miss me like I miss her?? Its like I really don't want to talk to her, yet I'm very tempted to ask why she really dumped me. The excuses she gave me was to lame and I know there is more to it. Yet I'm scared to get hurt knowing that she may have cheated on me. I mean I made mistakes in the relationship. Like I said I didn't cheat on her yet for some reason she always thought I was trying to. She told me she couldn't trust me but I don't know why

    My question is... should I contact my ex even though she put me through a lot and she contacted me first??
  • Apr 30, 2009, 03:50 AM
    chuff

    God no.

    As I read that it all that jumped out was gold digger. She used you for all your college money, and if you any of you loans are from the gov't that's money I gave this gold digger which makes me even more upset.

    Why would you date a woman who was pregnant to begin with? The father, left and she took advantage of you to do everything as you stated and then she has the nerve to say your not ready to be a father... it's not your child, so why would you have to be ready? Then she dumps a boyfriend of two year via text. That's how little she thought of you? Text. Two years. That's a low class mother who's not ready for life right there.

    Let me answer your question again. Do not contact, and keep running from this. You never put your foot down, during the relationship. You never stood up for yourself then so do it now.
  • Apr 30, 2009, 04:14 AM
    artlady

    It sounds like she used you and then dumped you and truly hurt you.
    Why would you want to relive such an awful experience?

    If you think it will give you closure ,it won't.She could tell you anything to defend her being bad to you,it will not change the past.

    Let it go and accept it for what it was,a painful learning experience.
  • Apr 30, 2009, 04:44 AM
    liz28

    Keep that door closed and locked. No need to get in contact with her because now she decided to reach out to you. She wasn't even woman enough to dump you in a proper way but took the cowardly way out.

    No, No, No, No, No, did I say No? No contact! Keep moving forward and stop comparing girls to her because you deserve better.
  • Apr 30, 2009, 06:43 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    After 7 months of talking to other girls I still couldn't find a girl like her.
    You never will because no two females are alike, even if they are twins. Your trying to replace the ex and that never works. Just have fun and start over from scratch, and you'll see a lot who are better.

    You really need to be single though really as letting yourself be used ain't love but dependency. You need to find your man hood and appreciate it, and not just give it away.

    Quote:

    My question is... should I contact my ex even though she put me through a lot and she contacted me first??
    No way do you go back to the crap you had. Do not respond, and use this freedom, to get your act together.

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