This is going to be a basic question, nothing too in depth. So I've always had a crush on one of my friends but she's always had a boyfriend. She's know been out of her last relationship for a month and I kind of thought "nows my time to pounce". I've talked to some mutual friends but have gotten mixed answers. She's currently "talking" to a co-worker but doesn't know where it's going. Some say I'm stuck as being a friend to her and other say that I just got to get in there and see what happens. So my question is would I be wasting my time because we've been "friends" for so long or could that be overcame?

Did you ask yourself if she has given you any clue that she would want something more? If she hasn't by now in the friend stage the chances of you staying a friend are good. Once you cross the line and make known your interest, you know what you could lose.

I guess I should add that we don't really hang out all that much. She's a friend because we share mutual friends and have hung out on numerous occasions throughout the years. All I really know is that she said I was cute after our senior year of high school, about 2 years ago.

In my opinion if a guy is already in the friend zone you are going to have to work your way out of it slowly if at all. Invite her to hang out see if she wants to go to a movie, take her to lunch. Start putting yourself above friend status and then maybe she will see you in a different light. Don't come on too strong she might get uncomfortable by the transition. Watch the movie called loser. It shows how to turn the friendship in a different direction.

Great idea! Go out naturally if you make it obvious you want to be closer than you are then she isn't even going to have time to think, to wonder, about what it would be like with you instead of someone else. You have to be confident and slip in 'mistakes' like turing around as you leave to get another look. In my opinion most girls like mystery and adventure, something unexpected can really make a girl happy.

Take the plunge and ask her out.The most she can say is no.
That won't kill you and you will know where you stand.
Remember the old adage*he who hesitates is lost*!

If breaking up with your ex was rough, imagine what losing a friend is like.

I think it's a lousy idea just because you have shown no signs of moving forward from your last relationship.

Try just hanging out as friends, and see if that brings you closer, or ignites a spark. If she won't have a coffee just with you, that's a good sign she may not be interested.

It doesn't look good, if you've liked her for so long and she's been dating other guys...

I'm not sure if it's cause you were too shy to approach her in the past, but now's your chance to hang out with her while she's single. There's a good chance that she doesn't like you back, otherwise she probably would have shown more signs.

I suggest you push the enveloppe. Ask her to hang out just to two of you. See how that goes before you take the next step.

Think about it this way, if you don't try anything, you will definitely not get her. If you try, the worse that can happen is that she doesn't like you back, but you can always stay friends (which is already the situation that you are in).

I'm going to disagree with most. She could very well be the type that waits for the guy to make the first move and since you've never made a move, she may have thought you simply weren't interested. Although, she would have probably tested the waters at some point, a look, a smile... Unless she did at some point and you completely missed it. Guys often do... Try to think back and remember if there was a time where she tried to get a little closer to you. If there is such a time, but nothing came of it, she would have concluded that you're not interested and moved on. Maybe not permanently moved on but moved on to dating other guys nonetheless.

I think the advice about developing some sexual tension - a look/a smile, a compliment, one-on-one time etc - is fantastic. Women love the build up of feelings, it's like mental foreplay!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

If breaking up with your ex was rough, imagine what losing a friend is like.

I think its a lousy idea just because you have shown no signs of moving forward from your last relationship.

---

How have I shown no signs of moving on from my last relationship? I won't sit here and say I'm completely over my ex but to say I'm where I was when I first got on this site isn't accurate at all.

And like I posted after, she's not like a super close friend. We're more than acquaintances but not super close. I would never try and date a really close friend, but in my opinion you have to be someone's friend before you take things to the next level.

This is all good advice so far. Thanks to everyone who has posted. I'm definitely not the type to go out and pursue the girl first but maybe it's time for a change. Keep it coming all advice is welcome and appreciated

I suggest you see if you have fun getting to know her first. Or if she is even willing to have a coffee.

The Friends Zone is hard to get out of. Many women view their friends as being more important than their lover, hence the reason it is so hard to go from one to the other.

The only way to find out is if you ask.

Ask her out to coffee, tell her your feelings and go from there

Quote:

---

tell her your feelings and go from there

---

I would not tell her these things until you have gone out with her alone a few times first. See if she is interested in you and if you have chemistry before saying anything. You will seem needy if you just come right out say how you feel about her.

Chances are when you ask her to join you for coffee, or whatever, she will get the hint that you are interested in her anyway.

The best thing for you to do, is play it calm and cool. Go out with her a few times before you say anything about how interested you are in her.

Thanks again for everyone's advice. I'll be working on these things and hopefully can see where things go from there.

"nothing ventured,..nothing gained.."