So basically I had been dating this girl for 8 months or so. Everything was OK. We had been having little tiffs but nothing harmful. Everything was normal the night before. But one day a Wednesday I wake up to an IM. Basically saying blah blah we deserver to be with people that do the things we like. I love you and want to be friends. This isn't my first time around the block.

So my only response is COWARD. She basically says crap trying to justify the means to which she broke up with me. Now I know I shouldn't even consider wanting to be with a person that disrespects me with an IM. That's just so low. And if she doesn't have the balls to tell me to my face then I loose all respect for them.

So after this I go NC. I go up to my sisters and avoid all computers phones etc. I know what I have to do. I just keep telling myself. She broke up with an IM she's not worth anything.

So things are going so-so. I come home and put some pics up on myspace of my nephew. He's so cute. A day later she comments on one of them "I know i'm the last person you want to hear from but he's so cute"

Then she does some of the bullitens and of course for some stupid reason I look. And find out no more than 10 days after our breakup she's making out with some guy. It went in me like a huge sword. I just couldn't believe it. I thought so much better of her. I really thought that she would respect herself me and what we had and take the time to heal.

I know what I should do. I should just delete her myspace and get on with my life. But it hurts. I so much want to I'm her and tell her to leave me alone. That I deserver better than to be treated like an empty shell behind a computer. To not contact me because she doesn't deserve to have me in her life.

But I find myself on the verge of just spilling every pent up hurt and showing her the disrespect she showed me.


So come on people help me out. Give some advice. Help me build up my resolve to get through this.

She broke up with you so most likely she was over the relationship before you even had a clue so she was already 'healed and ready to move on'
She isn't worth revenge or anything. The best thing you can do is keep the NC and move on.

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I should just delete her myspace and get on with my life. But it hurts

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That's a good start, moving on ain't easy, but giving in to your anger is not the answer either.

Your free of this fool, and she no longer means anything to you, so take it from there. Enjoy your freedom, that will pizz her off.

You had the right idea of no contact. Don't stoop to her level. You're right that she isn't worth the effort. You're on the right track dude. Keep up with no contact and the healing will come with time. Just stay busy!

Women run off... they leave... they die... :cool:

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Originally Posted by Fuzzball_Kara

You had the right idea of no contact. Don't stoop to her level. Youre right that she isn't worth the effort. You're on the right track dude. Keep up with no contact and the healing will come with time. Just stay busy!

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Yeah I know what must be done. Sometimes I lack the courage until I get hurt enough I suppose.

It really upset me that she IM"D me. I truly lost all respect for her. And I know I deserve way better than that. I guess though that I feel somehow I need to let her know how low and dirty that was. I don't know why. I know it's foolish. I know that I don't need revenge. I've always had the means (with ex's in the past and this one). Items that shouldn't be in the public. And I've always made the choice not too. And I'm sure that even though I want her to hurt like me I will once again choose to keep these items private. I do know who I am. And as much as I would like to use this in the here and now. I know I would never forgive myself.

I always believe in Karma. I know I probably won't be around to see karma rise up and kick her in the face. But someday in someway it always does. I guess this site just gives me the chance to vent my hurt.

That sucks. Been there. Everyone is right about living well being the best revenge but I know how much anger you must be feeling. Sign up for a Boxing class or some other extremely physical sport. Take your anger out on willing sparring partners. I personally can't transform anger into something else but I can focus it. Just an idea.

Join a gym, don't let the anger consume your life man, it's not worth it. Read my posts from when I first got on this site, I was angry but I turned it into a positive outlet with going to the gym

You're so adament that she didn't respect you and that she sunk to a new low. I know it's painful, but take the high road. Telling her that she was disrespectful is doing her a favor.

Let this one go. Swallow your anger and proceed with deleting her from myspace and find someone else who will make you happy.

You've been doing great with the no contact. It's too bad that you didn't delete her from all means of communication though.

He's allowed to feel that way. He shouldn't communicate that to her but I don't blame him for it. When you share so much with someone and they clearly end the relationship but flaunt a new one for all the world to see it's degrading and disrespectful. Idealistically, he shouldn't know or care. Technically, it's none of his business but his feelings are still valid. Everyone's advice is good but the man can vent anonymously online.

You should delete her from your friends and make your page private. She has no right to know what your doing with your life at all. For instance her commenting your nephew. She shouldn't be allowed to enter your life anymore and doesn't deserve to see what your up to.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

She broke up with you so most likely she was over the relationship before you even had a clue so she was already 'healed and ready to move on'
She isn't worth revenge or anything. The best thing you can do is keep the NC and move on.

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Yes I agree that she prob was pretty much over the relationship before she ended it. In my experience that's pretty much how it goes. It still hurts.

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Originally Posted by inertia

He's allowed to feel that way. He shouldn't communicate that to her but I don't blame him for it. When you share so much with someone and they clearly end the relationship but flaunt a new one for all the world to see it's degrading and disrespectful. Idealistically, he shouldn't know or care. Technically, it's none of his business but his feelings are still valid. Everyone's advice is good but the man can vent anonymously online.

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Yeah I suppose it just hurts to know that someone else is replacing me so fast. At least that's how I feel. It's like I didn't even get a moment of deep breath to even let it sink in before she jumps into the arms of another man.

I know people are going to do what they want. You can't control them. And in my experence they always do what they say they would never do. I guess it's the whole since you don't want me I don't want you to want anyone else. I guess I just don't understand how you can bounce from one person to another. I don't know if she's flaunting a new releationship or not. I know she's hella confused about everything. ANd she' not entriely let go. (keeping things I got her saying she is still loves me etc.) I know it's truly none of my business and she has the freedom to do what she wants. But it does seem like she's poking fun or trying to get a rise out of me... I just don't understand the point.

Because she is selfish to a point where she needs an ego boost more than she respects herself or others.

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Originally Posted by inertia

Because she is selfish to a point where she needs an ego boost more than she respects herself or others.

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Yes I suppose that's right. She's trying to make herself feel better by having someone there. She's flaunting it trying to convince herself that she made the right choice. And by Still loving and in a way hurting me she gets to hold onto the past. I suppose when the dust settles she'll have to deal with everything someday.

Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Here's the part you have to let go of. Retribution. You have to accept that fact that she may never "get what's coming to her" or have an epiphany that she has been disrespectful and wrong. The more likely outcome will be that she justifies her decision and never looks back. That's what you have to be OK with now.

I think that is the hard part and my worst hangup. How people justify their actions to suit themselves. I know I won't be around to "see her get hers" I've been around enough to know that much. Still being replaced sucks.

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Join a gym, don't let the anger consume your life man, it's not worth it. Read my posts from when I first got on this site, I was angry but I turned it into a positive outlet with going to the gym

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Yeah this is more normal breakup thing. I do all the stupid things like looking at myspace to see what there up too. And of course I always find out stuff that just hurts me. I get angry depressed and it builds up until I just say F it. I get mad and delete them from my life. But I totally tear myself up until that point. It's like I got to know what's going on even though I'm just hurting myself. And at this point I should know better. It's like I purposly do things to push myself to that point where I say F it. But the worst thing is what it does to me while I do it. I tear myself into pieces until there is nothing left.

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Originally Posted by I wish

You're so adament that she didn't respect you and that she sunk to a new low. I know it's painful, but take the high road. Telling her that she was disrespectful is doing her a favor.

Let this one go. Swallow your anger and proceed with deleting her from myspace and find someone else who will make you happy.

You've been doing great with the no contact. It's too bad that you didn't delete her from all means of communication though.

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Yeah I did great with NC at first but then I caved. And then I got hurt. I suppose I need help finding the courage to delete the last bit of contact I have and forcing myself to move on. Any suggestions on how to find the courage?

I have a strong sense of justice as well. Still not sure how to live in a world full of selfishness and dishonesty.