I am dating a young lady with no biological children... however she considers her ex husbands son her child. He has two other children(daughters) that she doesn't reach for like she does the son. The boy is 19 or 20 and she has been in his life for about 9 years but they were only married for 2 or 3 years. Her family seems to be a big fan of her ex husband. They have been divorced for about 2 years now and she still speaks with her but she says that they only talk about the boy, but I find that kind of hard to believe. I have no children and I am really not interested in having a relationship with her ex husbands son. Should I be concerned that she still has some feelings for the ex?

How old is the son? How old was he when they married? Perhaps she feels a special bond with him. I can see where this would be sticky for you, especially if you don't have children of your own.

How does this make you feel? Have you told her how you feel?

I don't understand how you think it is over because she has a bond with children. Is this the only reason you think it is over? Seems like you have some issues YOU need to deal with.

Well maybe I should change the name of the post to "should I be concerned".. The child is 19, she was with the child since he was around 9 or 10. She doesn't communicate with the girls and I find it hard to believe that the only communication she is having with the ex husband is only about the boy. I feel as if the is no closer there..

A 19 year old is not a boy. I'm wondering why she does not contact him directly,I can understand why she may have an attachment to him as he was young when she was in his life.
However I see no reason really why she needs to contact his father to talk to the son.
I would say talk to her,see what's on her mind,and why she feels she needs to contact her ex as well.

Yep, I agree. I think you should just tell her how you feel, very plainly but respectfully, and see what she comes back with. It is odd that she would be so connected to the son but not the daughters, and also that the connection runs through the father. Very odd. But, often things look odd when we don't understand them.

More information is always better.

How many places are you going to post this question?

I needed to change the title because it should not have been "is it over" how do I delete the first post "is it over"

It doesn't seems like she has feelings for her ex she just remain a relationship with the son and this isn't uncommon.

However, you shouldn't post the same thing over and over. Posts can only be remove by the moderators. More them likely they won't be remove only merge.

I know how you feel, my fiancé has two kids with her ex husband. I know it is hard to grasp that they talk just because of the child involved, but it's true. My fiancé has to talk to her ex, it's not often but every time it's just about our girls. She doesn't have feelings for him and never really did. There is a big back story and if you would like I can give you a full rundown. Sure there are times I think it's too much, like when I hear about him telling people that he still loves her, wants her back and blah blah blah but I trust my fiancé.

What you need to decide is if you can handle it. You might not think of them as her biological children, but to her that's her son. If my fiancé and I break up, I am going to keep in contact with the girls, if my next relationship can't handle it that's on her but I'm not having them out of my life.

Quote:

---

I have no children and I am really not interested in having a relationship with her ex husbands son.

---

If you cannot accept her as she is, leave her alone. Often partners come as a package deal.