I got so called "married" in 1999. My so called "husband" hasn't a clue as to what it means to be married. He never wanted sex, never wanted to talk, went on vacations with his fishing buddies - never took his 9-year-old daughter and I, we slept in separate bedrooms, he complained about everything and yelled at me constantly.

Well, now we are in the divorce phase of the disaster. I would like to know what it would cost a man raising a 9-year-old spoiled brat daughter alone (who is now a genuine dream to be around) to hire a live-in nanny, cook, housekeeper and sounding board for 9 years. I would like to see how you came up with the figures, etc. Total wages would be based on working 17 hours per day @ $20 per hour for the time school is out for the summer and while school is in, the hours are 9 hours per day @ $20 per hour. No taxes figured please. Please include overtime for hours worked over 40 per week at time and a half ($30 per hour).

In order for him to work and make over 2 million dollars during the 9 years we were married, I was asked to quit my $65,000/yr career and stay home with his child and raise her. I felt that if I could help a child it was much more important than any job. I wouldn't trade that part for 10 million dollars but the deception, etc. should be worth a LOT of money. This is a community property state but I am trying mostly to be fair and honest. :confused:

A suggestion,

You do the math, post your answer here, and well pick it apart.

Sound fair?

Unfortunately the lawyers or the family court judge will not be using your reasoning when figuring out alimony or child support. The general reasoning is to come up with an amount that keeps you "in the lifestyle you were accustomed to" and thinks of "the best interests of the child". No one here can calculate those amounts since they would need a list of assets and a bunch of tax returns. Get a good family lawyer and good luck with the new phase of your life. Try to get over the bitterness and aim for an amicable divorce if at all possible. Once things turn ugly then it gets expensive and damages the children.

You really expect us to come up with a reasonable figure without knowing where you are from? Your attorney should be doing this for you.

My question is why did you wait 9 years?

This is a community property state and the most helpful answer was from NeedKarma. Thanks NeedKarma. Sending some Karma your way :)

The reason I waited 9 years is for the child. We became very close almost instantly and her mother was in and out of jail her entire life and she saw her maybe once a year. I could not walk out on her. But... since, she has turned 17, she and I both moved out and have an apt. now. I want a house like I had before I met him. I basically have nothing but the sh** in this apt. I worked for 30 years, making lots of money, etc. Raised another daughter, who is now 30 and have 2 grandchildren. I am 49, husband is 58. His daughters mother was 17 when she had the child and my hubby was 41!! Sick!! I did not know this when we got married, he conveniently did not tell me a million things about himself. Thanks again.

First, may I suggest you check out this thread:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html
On the use of the comments feature. I don't deny my response may have been considered a little "cocky". Hoever, it is a fact that you were asking us to do something without giving us near enough info to do so. Therefore, you can't disagree as a point of fact.

You STILL haven't given us enough to go by. I see you have added Texas as your location, but Texas is a big state. Standards of living can vary widely from urban (Houston/Dallas) to suburban to rural Texas.

I agree with Scott.

Texas is a HUGE state, and you have only been married for 7 years.

Do you think the judge will order alimony to be paid to you forever? I don't know, I'm not familiar with Texas.

But as far as your numbers calculation goes, you are way off.

Why 17 hours a day in the summer? How they heck did you come up with that? NO ONE works 17 hours a day.

Why wasn't the child put into a summer camp?

Etc.

You need to give way more information.

A divorce attorney would be a better choice to assist you in this matter.

Well, if it's alimony you're after, don't expect the judge to base it on your calculations at essentially $20/hr. for raising his kid. Although the figures may actually be realistic, they have little bearing in a court of law. ALimony is awarded based on how long you were married and you and your husband's income during that time. Any sort of "payment" for raising his kid just doesn't come into play. I'm sure you feel hurt and used and I'm sorry that you've had to endure all of that but, like I said, your domestic pursuits while married can't serve as a bargaining chip now.