OK, me and my boyfriend have been dating for over 3 years. During the first year or so I never got jealous or even worried the slighest about him talking to other girls. I had no problem with him going out with his female friends. Within the last year or so that's like all I worry about. We are in college now and when he tells me he talked to a girl in his class today thoughts go through my head. It makes him upset. I hate feeling like this and I want to go back to they way I felt before. He has never given me a reason to feel this way.

If he never gave you any reasons to be jealous then why even focus on it?

Did anybody close to you recently had a break-up with someone due to cheating?

Relationships are already hard so I wouldn't add any unnecessary stress to it for no reason especially when your boyfriend isn't giving you a reason to. One word "relax".

Well my whole life I've had to deal with my parents always fighting and my mom is always cheating on my dad. I don't know. I'm trying really hard to not worry about these things. I'm just so... insecure now I guess. I used to not feel that he could find someone better than me or someone he thinks is prettier than me. But now I do.

Don't you think your pretty and a good person? Don't you think he deserves you?

You have to build your esteem up and I can understand your feelings the way you do because of your parents because everyone isn't a cheater. So don't think this way, please don't.

Love yourself and know your great. I used to think the same way as you and thought I my past boyfriend would leave me for someone prettier until I grew strong and stopped thinking that way.

I know. Its like I have 2 sides arguing with each other, on one side I know how he sees me, I know that he loves me, I know I'm right for him and so on. But then the other side just puts all these bad ideas in my head. I hate that side of me.

One thing I learned is never think negative always think positive. Otherwise, your bad thinking will take over the positive. Does that makes sense to you?

Yea it does. I've tried really hard to not think about this stuff. It just keeps coming back

When it does come back simply think of something positive. Not to try to insult you in anyway but have you never thought about counseling? It helps a lot! I've seen a counselor and my friends thought it was a horrible idea but it helped me a lot and make me into the person I am today.

This is what I read every time I start to get jealous with my fiancé, hope it helps


An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

That's great. Thank you.

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Originally Posted by JustHisGirl

well my whole life ive had to deal with my parents always fighting and my mom is always cheating on my dad. idk.

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It's not fair to punish your boyfriend because your mom can't keep her legs closed. This is exactly why people say you cheat on your kids when you cheat on their parents. Your mother has taught you, even sub consiously that cheating is normal and okay. Your mother is wrong, and as a kid you can never question it or say it. As you enter your adult life you can admit it, and acknowledge it, and also single it out and direct the blame for you thoughts to the right person. Your boyfriend is not that person and if you start blaming him for this or anything else he's never done you are going to recreate the same tension your parents had. Your idea of what a relationship is was taught to you by two people who argued and one who had several affairs. That's not how a relationship works, and your parents failure to have a real relationship is not the fault of you boyfriend. It might be a good idea for you read up on this website about relationshps to strengthen you core relationship values, and also how to gain some confidence in yourself which will strengthen your boyfriend's attraction for you.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-344434.html

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Originally Posted by JustHisGirl https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_i...s/viewpost.gif
well my whole life ive had to deal with my parents always fighting and my mom is always cheating on my dad. idk.

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That explains your issues you have had before. Your fears and insecurities run deeply. You may need to talk to someone whom you trust and can guide you through the process of overcoming what you have been taught in the past.

I don't know if you can deal with this alone.

My boyfriend and I had a very emotional conversation the other night about pretty much everything in my head. A lot came out. So... I do feel better about things now that I've talked to him. Thanks guys for the help.