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-   -   Asking Best Friend to move out (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=346681)

  • Apr 27, 2009, 09:33 AM
    roslyn715
    Asking Best Friend to move out
    My best friend (male) and I (female) have been living together for a little over 2 years. Originally, our living arrangements was temporary. He was going through a break-up and needed a new place to stay and he was in his last semester school. His parents had just moved to the country and moving back home was not an option. Also, I am in a better financial position I have paid most of the rent and all of the utilities since we've lived together. This at time has errked me too since I tend to budget and sacrifice the things I do yet he manages to go out a lot more.

    So, here we are two and half years later... our lease is up and I'm having a hard time trying to find the right word to tell him, its time he moved out. Our time together has been fun and I couldn't have asked for a better roommate but I personally think I've been his crutch for too long. My choice for not continuning our living arragement is partly financial but also I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years and have been seriously considering moving in with my partner.

    So, I ask you... how would you tell your roomate/best friend its time we go our separate ways? How long do you give, 6 months or a year?

    Thanks for your comments.
  • Apr 27, 2009, 09:47 AM
    Krazi

    Lol...
    I was in the same spot before.
    I just came out and said it.
    It started w/ hey girl we need to talk. [we sat and grabbed a drink]

    Its been 5-1/2 yrs and in this living arrangement and it was agreed on as a temporary stay. It seems you are doing better now and I'm ready to settle down.

    I think its time that you find your own place.
    And if they are a true friend they will understand



    6 months is more than sufficient to find their own place or a new roommate.



    p.s.

    Been married now for 6yrs... and my friend shelly and I still do luncheons and coffee.
  • Apr 27, 2009, 09:48 AM
    Texie Studstill

    Don't give him six months only two or three or else he is likely to procrastinate and end up getting near the dead line and asking for another month until he never leaves. Two months is plenty of time to get a job and a place to live. Tell him that you have to move on in your life and hope that he will do the same.
  • Apr 27, 2009, 09:51 AM
    0rphan

    Hi Roslyn...

    I think you just have to be straight, I would start by testing the water saying that I'm considering moving in with my boyfriend, and wait for his reaction.

    He will either be very positive for you... him agreeing it's a good idea after 3 years... or he may take an oposing view be utterly selfish and say what about me...

    That reaction will tell you all you need to know
    You can then decide from that how to play it.

    He could be very happy for you surprise you by saying... actually I've been thinking I should move on for a while but didn't know how to tell you...

    In which case problem solved.

    Until you make a definite decision everything is kind of hanging in the air at the moment.

    I think for starters casually test the water.
  • Apr 27, 2009, 10:03 AM
    liz28

    If the lease will be up soon what exactly do you plan on doing? Leaving or staying in the apartment?

    Start there. Let him know the lease will soon be up and you plan on leaving and he has to make other living arrangements because your moving in with your man.

    It is time for him to stand on his own two feet because you done help him enough.

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