Hey everyone. There is this girl that I have been friends with for over a year now. We have hung out only a few times but when we do we have a lot in common and I find myself liking her more and more. Me and her have both got out of a relationship when we met each other and really helped each other through it. Her breakup seems to have really affect her as she sometimes seems to have a lack of confidence in herself. I try to help her through it and it sometimes helps but she finds herself get back to it somehow. At first she seemed very interested in me but I was very unaware of this because of how I felt at the time, and over time I don't feel she holds the same interest for me as I do for her now. She is always busy so its hard to get together as I often try to arrange, and I even text or call her and she seems to not answer or not respond. While us being friends, we have both dated other people and it hasn't worked out for either of us. And even then I still thought about her but am very skeptical of telling her how I feel because of how it is when I try to talk and never getting together to hang out. It was recently my birthday and she wrote me a letter saying that she is looking forward to seeing me soon and wrote love at the end of the letter. I sometimes feel like if I tell her she is not going to feel the same way even though she tells me that I am an amazing guy and tells me nice things like that when we talk. I want to tell her how I feel about her but don't know if its worth it or keep looking for someone else. Please help me in figureing out what I should do.

Go for it, that's the only way you will know. Its not like she will be mad at you. You will still be friends either way.

I guess the question I am needing to ask is.. what is the best way to tell her I have feelings for her? Do I write her a letter or keep trying to get ahold of her and tell her face to face? I don't know

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Originally Posted by mik2007

hey everyone. there is this girl that i have been friends with for over a year now. we have hung out only a few times but when we do we have alot in common and i find myself liking her more and more. me and her have both got out of a relationship when we met each other and really helped each other through it. her breakup seems to have really affect her as she sometimes seems to have a lack of confidence in herself. i try to help her through it and it sometimes helps but she finds herself get back to it somehow. at first she seemed very interested in me but i was very unaware of this because of how i felt at the time, and over time i dont feel she holds the same intrest for me as i do for her now. she is always busy so its hard to get together as i often try to arrange, and i even text or call her and she seems to not answer or not respond. while us being friends, we have both dated other people and it hasnt worked out for either of us. and even then i still thought about her but am very skeptical of telling her how i feel because of how it is when i try to talk and never getting together to hang out. it was recently my birthday and she wrote me a letter saying that she is looking forward to seeing me soon and wrote love at the end of the letter. I sometimes feel like if i tell her she is not going to feel the same way even though she tells me that i am an amazing guy and tells me nice things like that when we talk. i want to tell her how i feel about her but dont know if its worth it or keep looking for someone else. please help me in figureing out what i should do.

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Well It Never Hurts To Put It Out there. I Mean Tell Her. Rejection Sucks. But It's Better To Know. And I Would Do It In Person. Not On the Phone Or In a Letter. Face To Face. Just Go For It!!

Mik2007 here is what you do. I want to you to read what I am about to write and take it to heart. Women, and you can probably appyly this to any relationship (people in general), will make time for you regardless of what is on their schedule if they are either interested (women),or like your company (people in general). She does not have much confidence because she is still taking to heart what her ex boyfriend said, did, or meant to her. She is NOT ready to move on as much as she say she is or portray that she is over "him." So, what would I do in your situation? I would leave her alone for just a little bit. Obviously you contacted her and sent her text messages, and she sometimes does not reply. That to me tells me that she's knows something. She knows that you like her and you probably make it very obvious. She has dated and has not found anyone because she has not learned to let go. If I was you I would stay away for a whole month. No text, no calls, no e-mails, and definitely don't be anywhere that she will be at. Then, call her out the blue and ask her out to lunch. Don't rush into how you feel right from the onset of the conversation. First ask her how she's been and how everything else is going. Basically make small talk. Then tell her that you will be going to try this new restaurant (nothing fancy-taco joint or something of the sort will be fine) and that you would like it if she came along. If she says no or I have such and such to do, then move on and forget about her. Look at it this way. You had been out of her life for a whole month or two and she can't grab a quick bite with you? That's like saying she wouldn't care if you passed away today cause she wouldn't miss you much. Lol... ok perhaps not that serious but you get my point. If she is willing to tag along, I still don't want you to make the move on her or tell her anything. Keep the lunch date laid back and make sure you make her laugh. Laughter is HUGE to women. Then, call her two or three days later and tell her you enjoyed her company and that you would like to do something again. Ask her to give you a date when she will be available this time around. Remember, 50/50 is the ratio you want to shoot for in the beginning but later you realize that that ratio is not always conducive to a good relationship. If she gives you a date then you know she enjoys your company too and if she doesn't, well guess what? You know she is not the one and please move on for good. Here's another thing. If you bring up more than two available dates and she can't keep neither one, cut your loses and end the conversation by saying that you are sorry to hear that she has so much on her plate and that she is missing out. Let it be known that you are fun to be with and exciting, and that you will not sit and wait around. I hope this helped. P.s. when you do first call her from your "break" away from from her and she doesn't pick up make, make sure you don't leave a message. You should have a call log to know that she had a missed call and to call you back. If she doesn't call back wait another four to five hours or at a time that you have a rough estimate that she should be available and call me. If she does not pick up again then don't call her back ever again and don't leave a message. Your second option can be for you to send her a text the second time around and say something like, "hey this is (your name) and this is (your number). Call me when you get a chance." No response means no play for you basically and again you should move on. I can't tell you more than this at this time. This should give you a good blueprint to work from.

Sounds like you're just a really good friend to her. If she has feelings for you, she would have looked for you more often.

There's not much to lose at this point. You guys don't seem like very close friends. She was only close to you before because you were the shoulder to lean on. When she's recovered from her breakup, you're just another nice guy to her.

So just step it up. Tell her how you feel and see how she reacts.