Ask Me Help Desk - Should I get rid of her or not

Should I get rid of her or not

Aight so this is the first time I've ever used this site, but my question is obviously should I get rid of her or not, I've been with this women for almost 3 years now, we've lived together for a while, moved away for almost a year together, lived together for about 8 months before that, and now just recently moved into a place together (basement of a house under her parents) not exactly on our own but still close enough. Anyway back to my original question, we both have a lot of trust issue's, our relationship didn't exactly start the best either, she was dating someone and me and her were having our sexual encounters on the side and became so close, and I waited for her for a year to get rid of her boyfriend at the time and then we started dating, she's made her mistakes and so have I, I'm not going to say I haven't ed up cause I know I have but so has she, now I moved away up north for 8 months first month and last month she wasn't with me, first month I don't know what she was up to but I think she was being good, when she was up with me she became really friendly with a guy up there and there was a rumour going on in town that she slept with him (small town) so I confronted her about it and she denied it out the!! so when she went home and I stayed I found out she was sending this guy modeling pics of her half naked to this guy she apperently ed (found out from a friend of a friend when he handed me the pics she sent him, wasn't a fun night) asked her about it she said that she used his computer and must have hacked it, so I went into her email and found out she sent them to him herself cause there was a comment only she would give, anyway then when I got home found out she was talking to an ex about how she didn't like the relationship she was in and was pretty much ready to give it up for him but when I got home everything changed could have been the fact that she couldn't handle me living so far away from her I unno, but either way it changed when I got home she still talks to him but once in a blue moon, also found naked pics of her in her email from her old boss that was apperently (sexualy harassing her) but obviously he wasn't if she was going to let him take naked pics of her, and that's just the tip of the iceberg, but then again I haven't been perfect either she's stuck with me through thick and thin to, flirting with girls, apperently cheating on her even though I told her it was through before I had sex with the other girl... I unno I just feel lost cause it feels like she's been with me through a lot of stuff and alotta bull I've done and I feel like I'm obligated to stay with her but I know she's still hiding things from me and it's brutal cause were both head over heels in love with each other (and I'm not 16 I know love when I feel it, so don't debate the fact that I love her) but still you can only love someone so much! I need help!!

Any other questions you have to help me out with this let me know

Thanks!

No trust = no relationship! Simple as that

Sometimes it is the best to let go and find someone you can work well better with.

From what I see it this relationship is a waste of time. There is no trust, lies and suggestible behavior.

I'm sorry to break it to you but this isn't love, this is just one big mess and emotional attachment.

I vote: get rid of her.

Sarah

Well, let me tell you my life story:

A year ago I had a bad four-wheeler accident and ended up with 12 broken bones, 2 collapsed lungs, and a bruised heart (literally). The doctor literally told my parents they didn't think I was going to make it through the night, but by some miracle I did and ended up leaving the hospital after 3 weeks. Well a month went on and of course my girl-friend was doing everything for me blah blah blah, but anyway she wanted to buy some shoes off eBay so I made an account for her using her email but my credit card and to verify it I had to get into her email. BIG mistake! I find she had been sending naked pictures of herself to a guy she had sex with just 3 monthes ago. Also there was another guy she was communicating with via emails whom she left me for that very night.

This story goes on and on but here's the answer. DROP HER LIKE A BAD HABIT! She's not to be trusted, she lies, she cheats, she needs to be left alone. Sorry but she's not "head over heels for you". She needs something else in her life and obviously she's not getting it from you (sorry to be so harsh). I know things like this are a huge surprise and you feel confused, but the best thing to do is move on. I made the mistake by forgiving her and working things out only to be cheated on again a year later. I was with this girl for almost 5 years and it wasn't easy to do what I'm telling you but trust me in the end you will be happy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

From what I see it this relationship is a waste of time. There is no trust, lies and suggestible behavior.

I'm sorry to break it to you but this isn't love, this is just one big mess and emotional attachment.

I vote: get rid of her.

Sarah

I second that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horth

Well, let me tell you my life story:

A year ago i had a bad four-wheeler accident and ended up with 12 broken bones, 2 collapsed lungs, and a bruised heart (literally). The doctor literally told my parents they didnt think i was gonna make it through the night, but by some miracle i did and ended up leaving the hospital after 3 weeks. Well a month went on and of course my girl-friend was doing everything for me blah blah blah, but anyways she wanted to buy some shoes off ebay so i made an account for her using her email but my credit card and to verify it i had to get into her email. BIG mistake! I find she had been sending naked pictures of herself to a guy she had sex with just 3 monthes ago. Also there was another guy she was communicating with via emails whom she left me for that very night.

This story goes on and on but here's the answer. DROP HER LIKE A BAD HABIT! Shes not to be trusted, she lies, she cheats, she needs to be left alone. Sorry but shes not "head over heels for you". She needs something else in her life and obviously shes not getting it from you (sorry to be so harsh). I know things like this are a huge surprise and you feel confused, but the best thing to do is move on. I made the mistake by forgiving her and working things out only to be cheated on again a year later. I was with this girl for almost 5 years and it wasn't easy to do what im telling you but trust me in the end you will be happy.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I'd say move on and find something better for yourself. I bet it took you lots of hard work to get yourself back together after the first breakup. Don't go through that again. You ll just end up at the same spot where you started, pain and depression.

First of all, please learn how to use full stops... boy that was hard to read... it nearly did my head in. So, now to the issue at hand - let me summarise:

1. She was with someone when you first met, and she cheated on them with you.
2. It took a year for them to separate, and in the meantime, she was bonking you on the side.
3. She visits you up north and gets friendly with some guy, and the rumours start.
4. She sends him photos of herself - half naked - and denies it when she's sprung.
5. She's been taking to an ex about how she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
6. She's been sharing naked pics of herself with her boss.

I think there is a pattern here - she's a serial cheater and needs to find excitement outside of a relationship. You're the sucker that's enabling that by staying in this relationship with her.

You say:

... she's been with me through alot of stuff and alotta bull i've done and i feel like i'm obligated to stay with her but i know she's still hiding things from me and it's brutal cause were both head over heels in love with each other ...

Please don't be offended - this isn't love. I know you asked us not to debate it, but I feel obliged to! Love means respect, trust, commitment (amongst other things) - I can't see any of these things in this relationship. I see only disrespect, distrust and disconnection.

Trust your guts on this one - you are asking whether you should get rid of her?
My answer would be a resounding 'yes'!

There are heaps of really nice women out there that will potentially treat you with love and respect. Make the choice to move on with your life and choose one.

I did not even bother reading the original post. I find I am doing that a lot. All I know is people already answered and the votes is NO RELATIONSHIP, LET HER GO.

I can confidently say that would be my advice as well and my vote would to let her go on her way. Bye Bye.

Quote:

Originally Posted by none12345

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I'd say move on and find something better for yourself. I bet it took you lots of hard work to get yourself back together after the first breakup. Dont go through that again. You ll just end up at the same spot where you started, pain and depression.

No no no no no were broke up I was just giving him a similar story.

Like I said I made the mistake by taking her back only to get screwed again. Don't make the mistake I did!

No trust, no relationship.

If she spread while she was with someone, why would you think you are any different. She would have been gone a long long time ago.

For your own piece of mind and sanity, leave.

You can do bad by yourself. With a girlfriend like this your better off alone.

How many more rumors and naked photos (she is sending and receiving from to guys) are you going take?

Quit while your ahead!

The question should be *why are you together*?
There is nothing here but a toxic dependency.

It sounds like your relationship is only going to get worse.you might as well go with someone you enjoy.

Run for the hills buddy, don't pack, just run.

I agree with everyone else. No trust, no relationship. My ex was talking to a guy through email and guess what, they are together now. If you dump her, just be prepared, it's most likely she will get with one of the guys she is communicating with. However, think of it like this, he is going to be the one putting up with her cheating, not you!

Well I guess I pretty much saw this coming, and this is the longest relationship I've ever had or ever come close to having so it's going to be brutal for me emotionaly to get through this but I guess in the end I'll be better off!

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

From what I see it this relationship is a waste of time. There is no trust, lies and suggestible behavior.

I'm sorry to break it to you but this isn't love, this is just one big mess and emotional attachment.

I vote: get rid of her.

Sarah

Doesn't mean it isn't love though, you can love someone and hate them at the same time, I do love this girl but love isn't the only thing you need in a relationship and I know that, just cause there's no trust doesn't mean there's no love!

Dude there is no love when there is no trust!!

Lilbadass69, how can you love someone if you can't trust them?

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship . Without trust there can be no relationship.

Exactly without trust there is no relationship, there was a relationship at one point, it's just not there anymore doesn't mean I don't/didn't lover her, but I do know the relationship needs to end