Ok... First and foremost, I would like to start with the fact that I am not a stickler. I have kissed guys, had some sexual experiences, but have yet to "Do the Deed". I guess it could stem from the conclusion that I am not very comfortable being naked around someone other than a doctor or in the shower. I also get nervous when a guy hits on me, thinking up the most quick words of escape to get out of the situation, Mainly because I think that in the end and ultimately... he wants sex. Slow and steady like the tortoise, I like to take things slow... (I blame my Capricorn sun). I like to really get comfortable before I even think about letting loose... and that can take months... even years. The first time I even had a papsmear, it took 6 tries until the nurse got what she wanted... leaving me mortified and hurting. I guess I picture sex as a painful, sloppy experience... which I'm sure is somewhat true, However I know it can be beautiful and bring people closer together. I guess the biggest goal to accomplish is to get comfortable in my own skin before I rub against someone else's... but how to defeat such a task? Also, how to get over the fact that sex hurts at first? When does it start to feel... well good? I am religious, but not in the context of christianity. I don't believe in waiting until marrige, but do believe that the person I share myself with is in it for the long run... not my whole life... but stay longer than just the night. Sex for me is emotional as well as physical. I want to share more than just my body. I want to be comfortable with myself and the whole idea of sex. I guess when it comes to it... I have the mind of a 15 year old when it comes sex. A teehee here and there when the word is mentioned. I believe myself half ready. I want to experience it... but then again... I really wouldn't mind waiting.
I guess all in all... how can this goat climb over such a huge mountain of insecurities and eventually hit the sack... with a guy?